Inequality and Poverty Debate - Winging It Like The Left

Fresh from his wife committing political suicide within the Labour Party, John Pagani gave us another breath-taking piece of cut-paste analysis this weekend where he tried unsuccessfully to frame the debate around inequality and poverty by doing what Josie told Labour not to do, be - gloomy, look backwards and fail to be aspirational.

So tonight I prepare especially for John a post about inequality and poverty written in a current left-wing style with a right wing base of myself so he can see how ridiculous the debate from the left looks currently in addressing poverty. The left are becoming poverty junkies. Inducing themselves with tales of woe and destitution all for their own political gain.

Paganiland - The Country

Paganiland is a country of 1,000 people. The median income is $5,000,000 per annum mainly from shareholding and investing. Of the 1,000 people many are members of the top 10 of the NBR Rich List families and then there is me, the Union leader if you like of the rest who work for them as I have done since 1999 - I am poor. I am not on the NBR Rich List. The Greens called for a Poor List. I would be number one on that.

The New Zealand measure of poverty means I earn far less than 60% of the median income of Paganiland. I am broke and angry despite working 60 hours a week.

And not going to take their shit anymore.

I live in a country with great inequality and poverty, it depresses me so much that I am deciding to get together with the few other poor in Paganiland and protest against the 1%. Those rich bastards who don't deserve their wealth, who have oppressed me and my people for centuries slaving off my labour.

Despite earning close to $1,000,000 per annum which everyone overseas says is heaps of money, I am poor. I feel poor even though I received more money last year than ever, the increases were inflationary as everyone received the same rises so I am no better off. I will now give you examples.

Housing

I cannot afford to buy a house in a modest neighborhood. They cost $1,000,000 on average and I can't afford one up on a nice hill and it is my dream to. Everyone should be able to own their own home, it is a Paganiland tradition. The rich should be taxed on their capital gains and monies redistributed to me so I can put a deposit down to buy a home. Yes, that would be fair as their speculation is stopping me from obtaining a fair price for my first home. I can't even dream of buying a bach for the weekends. In the meantime I would like a housing supplement to tide me over. Or a free one from these guys.

Food

I should be able to go out for lunch every day and have a drink and smoke cigarettes. I feel poor if I don't. After all the evil rich have got me addicted to such substances it is their fault. I could also do with free healthcare, because I am paying for that through my taxes. I shouldn't have to buy a private insurance policy and as I am the working poor I deserve to be seen when I show up and not have paying patients jump ahead of me just because they are richer and more fortunate than I am.

People say I cannot afford food at the local supermarket so should have to travel into the Labourland, the neighbouring country, to the markets. This is a complete disgrace. It is a hassle and 20 kms out of my way to travel there and the market isn't as nice as the shops in Paganiland and the people are unfriendly and look strange. I have plenty of time to do so but don't see why I should have to grow my own vegetables when the rich people of Paganiland don't. I want to shop at their supermarkets where I know the prices are higher but it is my right to buy local.

Transport

I also think a boat would be quite nice. John Spencer has a $75 million one, why can't I? And also want an Aston Martin. Everyone drives a nice car and I have to have one as well otherwise I will be sad and turn to a life of crime climbing in their windows at night. Colin Giltrap should be made to help the poor damn it and offer cheap car finance.

I cannot afford a Gulfstream like Peter Jackson has. Everyone needs a plane and damn it I don't see why the government cannot get me one of them as well. I will protest for the plane as well. Or a helicopter. I mean why can't everyone have one of those? The Vela Family have one.

Rent

I rent a building from Sir Robert Jones to run my consultancy business to the rich pricks. He's got 250 other tenants in his commercial properties so he should provide me with the tenancy for my business for free. Damn it I am working harder than all these privileged pricks who sit around all day doing bloody nothing. I deserve it.

Education & Health

The kids of the poor can't just go to any school, they have to go to the school here. However being poor they don't fit in as I can't afford to buy them Louis Vuitton school bags, i-pads and the latest shoes. They are depressed, feel displaced and I blame their learning deficiencies on that. If you don't have a University degree I mean you won't ever make any money right Sam Morgan?

Savings & Immigration

When there is spare money I want to treat myself and fly overseas. I mean John Key goes all the time, why can't I? I have elderly relatives overseas and I want them to come and visit me and eventually settle in Paganiland where the healthcare is better and the country safer than places like Labourland. Why can't they? I will protest that as well. After all it is owed to me. I built this damn country.

Privilege

I mean these rich pricks aren't even that smart. They are just selling junk to poor people. They have never had it so easy. It is all a Jewish conspiracy . All a risk-free total fluke. They don't even make anything. They never give anything back to those of us poorer. They are such awful bastards who never smile. They never started at the bottom, it was all get rich quick stuff.

Voting

I will vote for the political party that gives ME the most. As the working poor, I cannot afford to live the lifestyle of these people I am surrounded by and I will make someone suffer. I will vote for the politicians who make me feel the poorest and then offer me the most while punishing these bastards for treating me so badly in Paganiland.

I am poor damn it and I am not going to take their shit anymore!!

That's it we will Occupy land at Britomart to teach that bastard Peter Cooper a lesson and set up site like these chaps have

Then make him pay for all the damage while we drink his bars dry.

Plan!!