Book Review - Taking It From Behind

Blogging has evolved over the years. I've had offers of many free things: CD's, electronics, party invites, discounts, food, alcohol and most pleasurably sex from readers but never in a zillion years did I think I would be offered a book to review on the four letter "a" word. No I can't publish it here.

No one would believe me if I said I was otherwise randomly asked to review a book by American author Dr Sadie Allison on "the under-explored seat of love". Of course I was always going to accept the challenge of reviewing "Tickle My Tush" despite blushing and giggling all day when sent the email invitation from her publicist. Others seem to have been as well and like pussies turned down the challenge. I received a fridge magnet too however I didn't think of Cheryl Cole's best almost gay friend while reading. Unlike this slowie I didn't require two sittings, I swung through the book in my lunchtime in the most unromantic of places in the world - the office.

Looking at the Doc's credits she holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Many men I've met in bars at 3am claim similar credentials. She has been on most advanced American talkshows. Except Oprah. Which is a compliment really as the only backwards motion Oprah appears to want to endorse is the naming of her production company.

My comfort zone really is in her earlier title "Tickle His Pickle". I wished the Good Doc had sent that first to ease me into it her karma sutra style of sex education. Tickle My Tush is literally a very tough, bottom-clenching little book exposing what Dr Sadie terms politely ones "penetration inhibition".

A wise friend tried to talk me out of it on the basis reviewing the book wasn't part of my brand. She was outvoted by my blog target audience of advanced middle aged men thinking it was a fabulous idea as long as I sent them the book once I was done. For their wives and/or girlfriends of course.

A copy of the book is being sent to Auckland for passing round forthwith. Gentlemen please be careful not to glue the pages together.

I'm not the only woman to flinch at the mention of the "a" word. I am taken back to a time at school where one particularly adventurous otherwise very attractive and lithe girl partook in the practice and was immediately nicknamed "Backdoor Pam" when the then love of her life blurted to everyone in the community he'd performed the act. At that point onwards, like agreeing to a sex video or nude pics only to have ex-boyfriends post online, bad publicity resulted always from being known as performing the act. Male discretion could never be guaranteed.

I have had several men at times in my life bravely suggest that I may enjoy it. Like I wouldn't have offered if I actually thought I would. Ironically always the ones more genetically blessed. I suggested back to those men that they may enjoy it as well. A conversation ender if ever there was one.

The cry of "Come on, up the botty, no children!" was the rumoured pitch from a to be unnamed Aucklander. Another declares in favour saying "Eight more muscles and four degrees warmer!". I am not sure even after reading Tickle my Tush cover to cover if that's celsius of fahrenheit. Then there's the infamous cry overheard by a neighbour from a lady to another less salubrious loud-mouthed type of "oh ****** not the broomhandle". The legends of men pleading for it are plentiful.

Amazing how women are expected to enjoy it, yet straight men get a leave pass on an "ick" basis. Same hole, same purpose, same mechanics. Yet only one gender in the heterosexual community is expected to take it there. Dr Sadie says homosexuality is judged not by whether you receive this pleasure but the gender of your partner. Hence a section on women with a device giving their bloke a good seeing to. "The pleasures you seek are right behind you" another of Dr Sadie's catch-cries. "It only hurts the first time" from a man's mouth doesn't translate into the poor wee dear happily lining up for just a finger for his own prostate check does it? It is a hard sell.

Dr Sadie writes a humorous often corny yet structured account of a deconstructed subject including female on male action. She works through the above apprehensions that I have exhibited here and provides another angle on them. Rear-entry if you like.

Despite her protestations it reads like a sex manual. By about page 78 and the zillionth reminder of the importance of lubricants I'm thinking the whole act is all a bit complicated and requiring much too thought and pre-planning. The section on STD warnings is very American and the disclaimer at the front of the book even more so. I looked for the disclaimer and legal work to sign before I could actually go to the next page.

I did learn an exciting new word "shejaculation". In intimate diagrammatical detail we are shown where a man's prostate is. I am sure sometime in the next 20-30 years this will be critically important in my personal development.

The problem with the practice is that without accessories like a rear view mirror, as a woman you only get that one angle. Dr Sadie gives us a back seat in the bus and compiles what I describe as the male perspective written by a woman. Yes, a male begging a woman to try the unspeakable.

I can't say Dr Sadie has converted my mindset into believing next to Lawn Bowls and Golf, that backdoor would be a suitable regular casual recreational pursuit for women under the age of enjoying perpetual knitting.

But each to their own and if you are in a relationship and already bored witless with missionary or explored every Karma Sutra front position imaginable then buying this book would seem a logical next step before either breaking-up or getting a Mistress or Toyboy. Or perhaps all of the above.

In any instance Dr Sadie has books for that as well in her empire. All small enough to read in bed. Together.

And the best part? What I can really thank the Doctor for.

I got to the end of the book, unclenched the cheeks as I closed the book and felt fabulously prudish and virginal.

Then went back to the computer to read pages of disclosure notes in annual accounts reviewing tax reconciliations.