Supercity Voting Papers Update (Updated)

Well after 19 minutes and 41 seconds on the phone to FOUR different New Zealanders I am finally informed that my voting papers were sent "Airmail" to my address in Hong Kong.

I checked of course with the enrolment office to ensure I was a) enrolled and b) the address to which the forms were sent. One woman didn't even know how to transfer my call when she didn't know anything and had to ask the nearest bloke how to do it. One called my case a "very unique situation". Ugh... lost voting papers? Will be happening everywhere. At 8m 30 seconds I was placed in a queue where I was the fourth caller. On an overseas number, tick tock tick tock, cheers chumps. I then informed "Margaret" who was by far the most useful of the four women I spoke to (the eldest and clearly the only one who understood anything about politics), that "Airmail" can take between 2 days and the worst experience I have had, of four weeks.

Sending me new papers is an option but realistically they won't get here in time for me to complete and post back by 9 October. I shall have to wait for these ones to turn up.

Postal voting MUST go.

At least for general elections we can download the forms so there is a 100% chance that we receive them if smart enough to download them. Postal voting requires us to rely on midgets at several levels such that the forms are successfully posted to us and then some midget to successfully deliver them back to the right hands. Far too much margin for error for paper shufflers.

UPDATE: In the hours since posting this I have had seven emails from expat New Zealanders who are still waiting for their voting papers. Hello? Anyone home down there. Perhaps the easier question is please comment in if you are an expat and HAVE received your papers yet.

If you haven't received your voting papers yet the numbers to call are (09) 973-5212 or (0800) 922-822. But as I've found - good luck with that if you are speaking to anyone but the Irish accented "Margaret".

Whaleoil Back In VRWC

That was quick
Mmmmmatt has changed his mind and now has endorsed some lesser known candidates in Albany.

What's the bet the threats from Mayor Williams' legal team kick in shortly and Mmmmatt grovels back from calling Mayor Williams a "fraud" to giving him an endorsement.

Typical lefties. Can't trust them to even endorse candidates. And McCarten is their leading light.

National Give Way To Big Ideas

The Coalition Ministers (reference to the politicianary) met under their own urgency this week via video Skype in an effort to stem the anticipated popularity of Labour's policy of removing GST on their fruits and vegetable. A transcript follows:

Smile and Wave aka PM John Key: "right team, we need some fresh ideas to counter the fruits and the vegetable"

&

Crusher: "Ooo ooo, I've got one Boss, with that woose Garrett left right out of the way let's toughen laws up and make three strikes now two".
SAW: "right that's good Crusher, anyone else?"

FIGJAM: "let's reform what is left of the financial markets further after SCF and revisit the government guarantees after a full public enquiry"
SAW: "right that's good FIGJAM, anyone else?".

Nickpocrisy Smith: "we need to be left to press right forward with the ETS. You know how important the enviro...."
SAW: "right that's good Nickpocrisy, anyone else?".

Brokeback Brownlee: "how about I use my powers as supreme dictator of Christchurch and build a Wendys' burger joint to revitalise what is left of the local economy?".
SAW: "right that's good Brokeback, anyone else?".

Tango Hide: "how about we review our progress on closing the gaps with Australia and go harder?"
SAW: "right that's good Tango, anyone else?".

Karori English: "oh I know, how about I raise GST right away again, it was pretty popular first time up for us in the polls?".
SAW: "right that's good Karori, anyone else?".

Aunty Tariana: "how about we hand even more land to Maori, including the Crafar farms and up Maori welfare at the same time, that's what we need to increase productivity and make Aotearoa a better place for the moko?"
SAW: "right that's good Aunty, anyone else?".

Brokeback: "What about mining? Drill baby drill, I can use my supreme powers again for what was left of the argument on this one?".
SAW: "right that's good Brokeback, your second big idea, anyone else?".

Steven Joystick: "The give way rule SAW, the give way rule".
SAW: "shit that's perfect Joystick, let's press right on with that. An electoral winner, right".
SJ: "no left"
SAW: "right, then"
SJ: "no left"
SAW: "oh...ughmm...2012 then. I'm sure they'll be all right by then"
SJ: "no LEFT".

Whaleoil Suspended from VRWC

Whaleoil is now suspended from the VRWC pending a full inquiry based on this recent full-on lovefest endorsement from Matt McCarten.

These two really need to get a room. And be locked in it.

Mmmmmmatt says Whaleoil has a "social conscience, does volunteer work and has a good brain". Apparently this is all that's now required from a candidate for them to be endorsed by a pinko.

Social conscience? For fuck's sake he wants to kill starving whales and "does volunteer work" . His whole friggin day is volunteer work - he doesn't get paid to work. A classic case of a pinko endorsing a candidate because the candidate is clearly "waffly", without corporate backing and there is now a sickly shade of pink to Slater.

I bet Slater has been dobbing in mean supervisors at Macca's on the sly.

Mmmmmatt calls Mmmmmayor Andrew Williams a "fraud". The real fraud is Slater's pink-cuddling, despicable, traitorous behaviour brought out of course now he wishes to be yet another troughing, park-naming, credit-card swilling politician.

Random Impertinent Questions

Labour want cheaper fruit and vegetables to cut down on obesity.

Question: - If they removed GST on fresh fruit and vegetables, how much money would Parekura Horomia save?

Argument over. An example of a terribly targeted policy.

Supercity Postal Voting Sucks

Got to say, Dale Ofsoske needs to sort out this Council voting for overseas based people.

I consider it my civic duty to vote in the Supercity election, not because I pay rates in Auckland or even live in Auckland, but my vote counts as it counters a beneficiary or net beneficiary in Auckland who no doubt will vote Labour and Len Brown to spend more of other people's money.

I am in the Orakei Ward which means that Cameron Brewer is a clear choice (even though the lazy prick hasn't responded to my Facebook request to sort my ballot paper out) and I haven't decided to vote for John Banks or Andrew Williams yet but it will probably be John Banks as Williams, due to biases in Mayoral debates has seen him excluded from the more widely covered debates so sadly he has no chance of winning. And I don't want Auckland to have to have a Mayor who has Labour Party hacks carry around a portable defibrillator as he stands up on stage and fibs about spending more of your money, so Len is out.

Well it is September 27th Dale and where is my fucking ballot paper? And why isn't it as easy as the General election where you could download the paper off the internet?

You received an email from me today. Chop chop....

Scariest Model of the Week

Expand

A model wears a creation by Huffer on the final day of New Zealand Fashion Week 2010. Photo / Babiche Martens

With hair this colour accepted in the Huffer show, Chris Simpson has hope yet for a future in modelling. You just need to work now on your chin.

Model of the Week

From the Trelise Cooper show "Samantha".

The Trelise Cooper kiddies show could be mistaken for Remuera yummy mummy and dirty daddy's collective. Parking at a premium in the carpark with all those SUV's around.

PC wowsers of course don't think kids should be models, however without exception they are all covered up and seem not to be harmed at all in the making of this production.

And Don Brash should take note, Samantha sorts Noelle McCarthy out good and proper here at 2m 16secs where she models a variation of a certain gossip columnists favourite top.

Atip's Week of Style

Fashion blogger Isaac Likes goes all the way with the Four Days of Atip. Well done Atip for keeping it out there for the entire week! A sterling effort to be a clothes horse and all without visible proof of wearing the expedience of basic cotton socks.

Day 4 As analysed by Isaac.

As analysed by CK: Same shoes, same cargo pants two days in a row. Atip what on earth were you thinking! Back to day one for the pants and the grasping pose over the face. Cold. Cold. Cold. The jacket looks more like a sleeping bag than a fashion accessory. Isaac calls this the "backstage working" look. I call this the "woke up in another flat and stole my top half from a stranger" look. The sweatshirt may have said "Bedwin" but I think it was a bedlose for Atip on night 3.

Day 3. As analysed by Isaac

As analysed by CK: Atip with the unshaven modelled thoughtful look pulls this off fabulously right down to the knees of the then supertapered cargo's. Isaac names the shoes as "Visvim moccasins" to further one's education via google I discovered these slippers around US$400+ a pair. The pants are Tabacco tapered chinos from Neuw. The hole in the right knee was put there by a machine. Isaac terms this look "off the reservation". I call it "the world's most intellectual Indian".

Day 2. As analysed by Isaac.

As analysed by CK: Yes Atip, you are as cold as nudists at a beach in winter and wearing once again pants that don't reach right to the shoes. Simon Miller ran these jeans over with tractor tyres and mountain bike spokes and your hands are shivering because there's not enough room for pocket billiards in there. Isaac describes this as "a black jacket". Which could be a nice way of stating, "Atip stole this jacket from his flatmate". Rather than "urban camouflage" I say this outfit still stands out like "blue dog's bollocks" in Auckland.

Day 1

Prior analysis

** Many thanks to Issac from Isaac Likes for his good work on the ground and week of pleasantries.
** Well.... and Atip for putting out his style to the blogsphere.

Death by Dexter

I'm up to season 3 of the Dexter DVD's.



I gotta ask, how the hell does this get on the TV networks? Not one to be the best in the Chief Censor's office, but there's no way people should be watching this psycho-addictive shit. Plenty of evidence of copy-cat killers. This show is just fucked up and you can't stop watching.

A List Fashion Week Round-up

The A List has all the good photos from the last week

Unidentified man at Zambesi Party with a jacket made from the carseat covers of a 1982 Ford Cortina.



CM-J striding out in a suit that speaks for itself. He nails marvellously the "red in the darkness of a Zambesi party" look. Best male suit of the week worn by an elegant slimline Kauri of a man.



Hmmm....at World. I say Hmmm as there's nothing positive you can say about this pair other than have a word to Colin about how to dress yourselves.



Ricardo tells Norrie to get that camera away from his orange juice

PC Brigade Ruin Model Party

I am heartily sick of people bagging on skinny models.

Alexandra Owen courtesy of Norrie of The A List

We don't tell nuclear scientists to be dumber, we don't tell Richie McCaw to be slower on a rugby field so why on earth are we telling models they have to be fatter?

There is nothing unhealthy about what models do. They stick clothes on, have their faces painted and walk down a runway. It looks easy, but I am sure it is not. They suffer from being stared at, glared at, laughed over, cellphones going and the worst thing of all. At the end of the day they cannot sit down like the rest of us and have a big juicy piece of meat on their table. Heaven forbid, no bread or cheese. The poor bastards can't even look at a gelato, let alone a lovely chocolate souffle. They choose to do this because it is their job. They suffer the same pains most of us do at work.

Yet political correctness has come out so gung-ho not just accepting but now in favour of the obese and their rights that skinny women are now pariahs in society for simply being who they are.

Why do models have to be thin? Well that's an easy answer. We don't want to watch fat people. Fat people in clothes just don't make the clothes look the same. And I am talking fat people here as those with visible cellulite that detracts from the visual performance of the garments they are wearing. Instead of glaring at the latest designer threads without visual interruption, we would have to otherwise glare at muffin rolls and unsightly fat. And there is a fine line as any woman knows in looking good in next to nothing, and having to wear clothes for modesty.

No woman wakes up wanting to be fatter. Why are we asking that models put on weight?

Over the years we have had the nonsense PC brigade in the fashion industry talk of plus models, accepting "larger" girls (that's anyone shortish and over a size 10 - taller women skew the size debate) into their fashion line-ups. But then for example we have in New Zealand one of these designers lose over the years a large amount of weight herself. To the point now where she looks younger and better than she used to. So much for "fat is cool". Today we had this blogger make a ridiculous claim that "I know women who say they are at their most confident and sexy at a size 16 or 18 or even 26". Come on! Only if they were previously an 18,20 or a 28. Being at the upper spectrum of these sizes is just bloody unhealthy. This is from a woman who is blogging us to tedium not about gaining weight, but "losing it". Carpenter's Daughter folks is a fashion label for women who have given up wearing anything else so decide to go for the default option - material that doubles as a tent.

All it comes down to is other people's (mainly women) insecurity about these leggy gazelles. Even at the humble NZ Fashion Week there are women there with amazing bodies that put most of us to shame. If that actually bothers you to be shamed. An entire Kathryn Wilson show was dedicated to shoes and all the models came out with full legs on show in black jumpsuits. Instead of admiring the effort these girls have put in to look and stay this thin and beautiful that you are looking at the coloured shoes than any cellulite, wrapped up in PC nonsense the envy and jealousy of "other women" comes into play and they seek to criticise models for being too thin.

A facebook friend of mine commented that Samantha Hayes looked too thin. Not a watcher of much NZ TV I had no idea who Samantha is so I googled her. She's ridiculously hot, even in the bad shots. I corrected FB friend on such a dissection of the poor woman's being and said "no, Samantha Hayes looks really hot and your are pissed off your boyfriend is staring at her". I haven't been defriended yet for that honesty, but I can feel it is coming.

The rest of New Zealand hates Fashion Week. It comes down to it being a week for hot and "cool" people to enjoy. Farmers have the Fieldays, rugby fans will have the Rugby World Cup after the 7's in Wellington, yachties had the Americas Cup, Star wars fans have their own meetings, motor fans have Top Gear, tech geeks have fairs and conventions, political junkies have Parliament and elections. Fashion week is for a different sort of person again, those who are hot and "cool" or a combination of both into fashion.

In New Zealand it is a crime to be rich or hot or too "cool". Be hot and rich as well as "cool" and you might as well just give up ever being liked by Joe from Taihape. But hot people especially I have found have their own honour code. They hang out in little support group clusters. If you are lucky enough you may get invited in temporarily, if you buy them drinks. They need financial support often as many suffer from discrimination in New Zealand such that they cannot earn a decent living. When you talk to them you will find they have the same problems as everyone else, are as shallow or deep as everyone else. Many of the women find it hard to meet men as men are afraid to ask them out and if they do cannot handle the fact they have to dine off the salad menu. Most are genuinely decent people who don't give a second thought to bothering others, especially those who are bagging them for being "too thin" or "too cool". They find it hard to make friends outside their own, given that New Zealanders have already written them off for being "hot" or "cool".

While "other women" curl their lips and say "oh she's got good genetics" to write off the..oh only 15 or so years this woman hasn't ever consumed more calories than she's expended (the basic simple theory widely accepted for anyone getting and staying thin), observing these women in their natural habitat will show critics the sort of discipline they have to endure, self-confidence they have to have to overcome self-esteem issues to dress in nearly nothing to walk in front of a couple of hundred people judging her as she displays clothes for a designer. Because it is her job and if she isn't going to do it anymore we are going to get fat chicks butcher otherwise decent clothing brands all in the name of political correctness.

So I say, leave the skinny women alone.

Anyone Except Douglas, Says Key

The best evidence John Key is a populist and a pragmatist. Ruling out the return of the poll inducing equivalent to the National Party of Satan. It is the politically entirely sensible, yet boring declaration for the PM to make.

I would be in support of trading the beads and blankets, limos and titles to put the old fella back in as Minister of Finance.

However with the untimely death yesterday of John Smith, 72, retired of Pokeno, there are realistically now only 15 people outside the ACT membership who would agree with me.

Reaching Atip

Leading fashion blogger Isaac Likes describes this adorable photo of the static Auckland ornament known communally in Ponsonby simply as "Atip". Atip is described as stylist and fashion editor of Remix Magazine.


Papped by Katherine Lowe

"ACNE beanie, Retro Superfuture glasses, Huffer scarf, Barbour jacket, Comme Play cardigan, Dover Street Market tee, Neuw pants and Nike shoes. "Colourful casual."

Isaac is clearly incredibly polite. I bow to his superior knowledge (and interest) of and in fashion. He is very well read and travelled in the area. But fashion is often an incredibly subjective state of other people's minds.

So let me tell it this fashion week just how it fucking is.

Intensely aware readers of this blog will recall I brushed past Atip some years ago at my virginal introduction to Fashion Week at the Hailwood After Party at Clooney and literally induced the wet bales of hay that were his then thick dread-locks.

I put about five seconds into deciding what to wear, ten seconds if God willing I am trying to be impressive. So I can spot a mile away someone of like mind.

Atip here appears to be a graduate of the Cactus Kate school of dressing for one's (winter) holiday.

Buy various items of over-priced labelled clothing from New York, London, Hong Kong and Auckland, wake up in the dark behind black-out curtains heavily under the influence of several prescription and recreational drugs, put one's head down near the Samsonite, pull out the first thing available the more creased the better, then walk out the door after picking up the beanie off the apartment floor and placing firmly on the head.

I salute Atip for dressing this atrociously while still recognised in his community as a fashion icon.

Zambesi - Everything Looks Better in Black

Fashion Week is on and that means ZAMBESI!! Yay. What I like about Zambesi is the absolute dedication of their owners to seem as creative as they can all while wearing what seems to be everything humanly possible that you can do with black wool.



Neville Findlay is what you can imagine Pita Sharples would look like if he was slimmer, healthier, better looking and didn't have to work with Hone. With taiha in hand, beating off the wankers fawning over him as he cuts a path through the little people. Sniffing out the pork from the puha.

Hone sniffs a Pig

Herald has a marvellous interview with the Findlay family. I wasn't sure which one said this, but it is fabulous. So fabulous that the quote needs to be reproduced.

Findlay says working in such a way means the end product always has an element of surprise - enriching their garments with that depth of emotion, intellect and daring which has always ripped straight through NZFW.

"It's funny because we don't start off with a theme or a concept at all," she says.

"But you find that one idea triggers another, and before you know it you're creating a little bit of an idea or a concept without meaning to. It all starts to just work together and you ... start talking about it in terms of what it's representing as a feeling.

"It's a very kind of emotional journey."

Pita couldn't have said it better himself.

I don't understand a single thing Pita says.

It is a good thing I like black. I like wearing black. Suits come in black. Everyone can look better in black.

Zambesi, even though I haven't received any cool shit to say this as they don't pay commission - Cactus Kate Likes!

Random Impertinent Business Questions

I am mulling over signing a guarantee for a loan. It was a very quick mulling I can tell you that.

Random impertinent:

Why would you ever sign a guarantee for another person, natural or corporate?

Seriously. Where is the upside?

If the bank says "hell no" there is usually a good reason.

Supercity - Reader Correspondence

This is almost as good as Paul Henry's speech, and a lot cleaner. I dedicate it to David Farrar of course, the Master of the "cut, paste I'm too fucking busy to think up something original".

Dear CK

Your recent silence is ruining my morning routine. Please resume blogging asap. Perhaps you could draw inspiration from this weekend’s Local Elections mail drop in Auckland. Apparently, when the only hurdle to getting on the ballot is a $200 fee…you end up with a few ‘eccentric’ candidates on the card. Some pearls from the candidate information booklet:

· “Formal education played a very small role in my life. I left school at 14 once I discovered marijuana…”

· “My term as mayor will offer freshness…”

· “ I believe everyone, especially Christians, are asked to…place the lives of unborn children above Waterfront Idols and Rates.”

· “Annalucia Vermunt (rhymes with), Communist League, 42, meat worker…”

· “To be honest the salary of a quarter of a million dollars appeals.”

· And the winner of the ‘O’ for Awesome category, my personal favourite: “I am sole Director of my Company, Kiwi Hanga Ontrepeners Limited…”

Perhaps my concern is unmerited, but I had been led to believe by MSM that we were about to elect someone to the second-largest job in the country. WTF?

Regards,

Mr XYZ

Comic Genius - Paul Henry

Stuff all the PC idiots whining about Paul Henry. Listen to his speech in context and applaud that this man is utter comic genius. He's like a loud Mr Bean with a lean.

Paul Henry - we salute you and already you are Man of the Week.

Apparently in real life Paul Henry is quite quiet, social inept and reserved. No, we just aren't seeing it.....

David McLoughlin Is Back Blogging

Must have stopped masturbation with thumb and little finger to have both hands free

Shock Horror - Farmers Whinging

About the only thing I will give the National Government an A+ for is their handling of the Christchurch Earthquake. I will single out John Key as I think above all he has appeared compassionate, kind, shown leadership and empathy and given everyone a sense that action is happening.

Thus far I think the response has been faultless. It is a shame Key can't be as bold about necessary economic reforms as he has with a natural disaster or I would be a member of his fan club for sure.

It of course takes farmers to ruin this moment with a headline "Government quake response disappoints farmers". They organised a meeting with the Deputy Prime Minister, their buddy Bill:

Earthquake meeting with the Deputy Prime Minister at Darfield High School (4.30pm - 6.30pm) followed by a BBQ

Remember this is an open invitation to farmers, their families as well as advisers, contractors and anyone who has pitched in over recent days. Come to Darfield High School (7 McLaughlins Road) from 4.30pm as there will be a free BBQ following the meeting at 6.30pm (thanks to DB Breweries, ANZCO, Silver Fern Farms, Rabobank and Ballance for the donation of fertiliser). There are activities for children to make this as family-friendly as possible, with non-alcoholic beverages also available. It is a great chance to get off the farm and out of the house.

Free food and piss with corporate sponsors chipping in? Of course there were 300 people in attendance.

A few of them would have been farmers who at least still have their businesses, because you can't take land with you, unlike many SME's in Christchurch that will struggle to re-open, are losing money every day, still having to pay workers and face the reality that their businesses, premises and livelihoods are gone.

Farmers still have their cows. They still have their land. Most seem to still have their homes. Unlike city dwellers who have lost theirs.

But that's not good enough for Federated Fuckwits - easily the most powerful, unbalanced and with it out-of-control lobby group cum union in New Zealand:

Among the issues raised by farmers was that cracks which had appeared in their paddocks were not covered by either the Earthquake Commission (EQC) or private insurers.

Here's an idea, show about shutting the fuck up and getting out that orange electric fence tape and making do with what you've got? Get out there and fence? Where is your "number 8 wire" solutions to problems?

"Talking about us keeping the economy going, it's pretty hard when half your fencing and half your paddocks have been destroyed," he said.

"Why don't you guys put your hand up, give us some securities so we can go forward, get stuff done. That's what we need."

How about you trot off to your bank and ask them to extend finance for you? How about you realise that up until now you have sat on increased capital gains from the value of your land and that this is a risk that you have to take as businesspeople? That damage to your infrastructure is another risk you take as a business owner requiring large amounts of water being pumped to often drought hit regions?

Farmers are among the wealthiest Cantabrians based on their reliance of the land. They can no longer put on a "poor, peasant us" routine. The downside is when the land opens itself up they need to man up and deal with it and any potential loss in value from it that is not insurable. A bit like ergh...the '87 stockmarket crash in Auckland.

Now isn't the time to be bleating to government yet again about your circumstances.

They have enough to worry about rebuilding an entire city.

Earthquake Shakes Foundations

John Key has announced a relaxing of building codes and resource consents to rebuild Christchurch. I say good job John and National.

While the Government is giving consideration to speeding up the building and resource consents process, with the possibly that building consents could be given in retrospect, the process would still take time.

Problem is the mixed message this now sends.

In emergencies we will actually speed up processes and consents to rebuild back on what is now shaky foundations. But to build on "normal" foundations untouched by a 7.1 quake New Zealanders have to go back to waiting the extraordinary lengths they do now?

How about we revert to "one law for all" and speed up everyone's consent processes?

Christchurch Shame

There has been many great stories of community spirit in Christchurch and New Zealand. With two exceptions, the looting and domestic violence.

As soon as the Chch Earthquake hit we had rather unbelievable news that authorities predicted an increase in domestic violence.

Unbelievable given that I would think in a time like this the blow-arse blokes of the South would have better things to worry about than beating up their missus.

This just came through on the wire:

Provisional statistics show there has been an increase of 53 per cent in family violence offences since Saturday morning in those areas affected by the earthquake.

"We know from experience that times of stress do correlate with an increase in family violence incidents and this has occurred.

"It is a time to show tolerance and patience and realise when you are under stress and may need to take affirmative action to prevent the stress escalating into violence to those closest to you."

I have a high tolerance for violence, but domestic violence is one of the few acts of violence that utterly disgusts me. Baiting a man to commit domestic violence is just as bad but most women don't deserve being routinely smacked around by someone living with them who is meant to be looking out for and after them and their children.

If a bloke hits you when there's just been a massive earthquake and after-shocks coming, I would suggest it is a pretty clear sign he's a total fucktard and needs to be put down one of those large cracks in the road.

It's a shame that in a state of emergency it is still not legal to put the bloke down the crack after a nice smack to the head with a clean-up shovel.

For those who have already lost everything, if the bloke is now smacking them around, maybe now is the easiest time to pack up whatever little they have left and leave him for good.

"Ma and Pa" Investors

I've heard this phrase over and over again during the SCF debacle.

Always wonder why they don't just call them what they are.....

White middle class well monied whinos who mainly made their "wealth" getting lucky buying and selling tax free capital gained houses.

Hong Kong Votes With Feet

The Bledisloe Cup test in Hong Kong is reportedly under threat with less than 10,000 of the 40,000 seats sold. Hong Kong people don't get to vote much, but when they do it is always in the free market and always with their feet.

Hong Kong Stadium hosted the inaugural Bledisloe Cup test on neutral ground in 2008, an occasion that did not attract a sellout crowd.

Last year the match was held in Japan at Tokyo's Olympic Stadium, where ticket giveaways were required to boost crowd numbers.

Here is the reason why:

Tickets are selling for face value of Hong Kong dollars $1,250, $1,000 and $880. This translates into $NZ231, $NZ185 and the shit seats are even $NZ162.

That's fine for rich expats but guess what? We aren't showing up. Because we have done the Bledisloe two years ago and the Stadium is crap. We are sick of the extortion of corporate "package" deals in tents with bad food, terrible guest speakers (Eric Rush is NOT funny speaking dirty rugby player talk about Jonah at the movies reaching for the popcorn...that's not funny at 2pm...and it's the same shit every single year.....). The stadium used is getting old for the Sevens. And the Sevens is packed with English, Australian, New Zealand and Expat tourists. They are the ones buying the tickets (or having to get them off locals who scalp them)....... These fans from outside HK couldn't buy tickets off the HK site for the Bledisloe. I know as I had to purchase some in HK for visitors to stop them from getting extorted from New Zealand travel agencies who whack on packages and stick the ticket prices sky high.

I'd rather stay at home and watch it on TV.

Wealthy locals won't be turning up because generally they don't like sports.

The Bledisloe tests on neutral ground should be to promote the game locally. Locals won't pay this sort of money to attend a top rock concert, which is why the acts tend not to come through here. I've never been to the very small Asia-Expo venue by the airport and experienced it full. If you want local Chinese to front at an All Blacks test you have to lower the price to a realistic value and give them a reason to go. The average Hong Kong blue collar or even younger professional worker who you want attending the game, earns stuff all and will only buy a ticket at $HK880 if they can scalp it to some silly wealthier foreigner for $HK1,500. That's what Hong Kongers like - income earning opportunities.

It's a dead rubber. We know that the better players will be rested and it will be half-arsed rugby......like last time. Players will be keeled over in the heat in the early 30's with almost 100% humidity and not at their best.

The NZRU needs to look at pricing and its product. Neither rates highly in Asia.

Vote WHALE and WILLIAMS for Albany Supercity

I have previously endorsed Cameron Brewer as a candidate for the Auckland Supercity. I now add two more endorsements but only if you vote for them together. What the Supercity needs is checks and balances. There can be no greater check and balance for the incumbent candidate "Mayor" Andrew Williams than to elect in Albany, Cameron Slater aka Whaleoil.

I have been a defender of the dry wit and charisma that is Andrew Williams and again here.

Whaleoil has released strong policies such as his idea to use bus lanes for trucks, discourage Albany ratepayers to vote to pay for public transport as he's researched extensively and found none of them use it. To come is his policy on capping rates as well as his bold statement that homosexuals should be allowed to marry if they are silly enough to want a mother-in-law.

But Whaleoil's most impressive policy is to discourage councils from being involved in social policy as this is a function of central government so all the whinging pensioners wanting to keep their houses will have to live next door to poor people in "affordable" housing ie. places Grant Gillon wouldn't live.

Williams has yet to commit to fresh policies and ideas so perhaps Whaleoil would like to share his with Andrew as a sign of goodwill.

At their first show-down Williams refused to speak and I emailed and asked him why. This was his response.

Hi Cactus Kate

Thanks for contacting me.

I was committed to a meeting at council and originally was not going to be able to attend at all. Managed to get there late. I had already spoken the week before in the same venue NSCSS meeting, the third in a series of Mayoral candidate meetings.

I had also spoken at several other NSCSS meetings in the past few months and over the past year at the same venue and mainly the same attendees. As there were a large number of Candidates there, many unknown, I thought it was best to just let them have a turn. I didn't need another go having been at a number of previous NSCSS meetings and being well known to the attendees.

For more info have a look at www.andrewwilliams.co.nz

Regards
Andrew Williams

So Williams politely realises his fame in the area and therefore gave others a go at speaking. How gentlemanly.

Now in a measure of goodwill to get these two men working together for the good of Auckland I compare and contrast them to show that they too can build a bridge to Albany.

Vote WHALE and WILLIAMS for SUPERCITY ALBANY. The balance to the cheque.

Age: 51 v 41

Born: Hawkes Bay v Fiji
Weight: 110kgs with body paint, 95 without v fighting weight of 100kgs
Height: Scarcely taller than a parking meter v 5 foot 11
Drugs of choice: Alcohol and various prescription drugs v Melatonin and off depression meds
Mental State: Allegedly mad v certifiably mad
Education: Advanced Marketing Management Diploma from the International Marketing Institute of New Zealand v Whaleoil who hasn't bothered making one up
Religion: Worships at the Gods of Caroma v Christian
Credit Card: Now only a personal one v no credit
Looks: Chubby preppy cheek v Angry Chopper Read
Spouse: Angry Jane v Angrier Spanish Bride
Work history: Diplomat to country where English is not a first language v IT and security
Drives: Black Nissan Maxima v Whaleoil Truck
Children: 24, 21 and 17 vs 14 and 12
Internet Presence: Hasn't quite got used to it after 6 days blogging v Dominant
Supercity concept: Hates it v Loves it
Walking Style: wobbly lines utilising entire ratepayer resource of pavement v straight line won't move for anyone
Favourite Attire: Custom fitted short man's suit v Whaleoil t-shirt
Current employment: Bludging off the ratepayer v Campaigning to bludge off the ratepayer
Favourite Tipple: Anything on stock at GPK v Only when Cactus is in town
Favourite Hobbie: Gardening with his mate Little Andrew v Gardening on Spanish Bride's orders with a chainsaw and round-up
Favourite MP: Winston Peters v Crusher Collins
Favourite restaurant: GPK v Daikoku looking down on GPK
Pet Hates: Cameron Slater v Winston Peters and Andrew Williams (those two really should have a drink together at GPK sometimes)
Nicknames: Clown/Cock of Campbells Bay, Mad Mayor v Whaleoil
Pets: Cute dog named Rimu (deceased during campaign 26th August, RIP) v the Black Dog and David Farrar
Favourite Journalist: Late night calls with Jonathan Marshall v Jonathan Marshall........Finally some common ground
PR/Media handling style: Combative v Combative
Weasel words: "Reducing rates - In the first year as Mayor we reduced the rates increase to 5.9%" v no weasel words
Pressure release: Late night abusive emails v All day abusive internet posts

I smell the potential here for a joint ticket. Williams and the Whale. The cheque and the balance.

Thank God Crafar Never Met SCF

This is the document that NBR's Liam Baldwin found Allan Crafar presented to Rabobank in order to pay off his $200m debt.

Quite why it is hidden in the subscriber section I have no idea, but it is a brilliant story.

NBR can now reveal the authors of the document is a Taupo-based group called Ihowa 2030, Ngaherehere ki te Moananui a kiwa na Aotearoa, which claims to be the "Native State Government."

The “gift” to Mr Crafar of £200 million is based on “derivative security” – money due to pay for the theft of intellectual property linked to renaming Aotearoa to New Zealand.

The group’s self-called governor high chief justice Hine Po Aki Rangi told NBR the organisation was “calling in the debt.”

Mr Crafar said the group approached him in April and he was happy to accept the offer.

“They said they would pay my debt and came to see me half a dozen times.

“I’ve got no reason to disbelieve them,” Mr Crafar said.

So this is the finance Crafar believed to be available to save his farms? And major trading banks loaned this guy $200 million+?

If there was any remaining doubt that Crafar is mentally capable of running a lemonade stall then that doubt has now been removed.

In Hong Kong every now and then in the fiduciary services industry you have a random Mainlander walk in off the street with varying forms of bank notes or drafts for hundreds of millions of dollars with offers of a percentage cut if you take them to the bank to cash it and/or use your firm's trust account that would make you an instant millionaire.

Correct procedure is to take their details then show them the door and complete a suspicious activity report to file with the JFIU.

I wonder if Rabobank has done the same with Allan Crafar?

Vanity Post

Unlike the slutty Whaleoil, whorey Busted Blonde and ergh...the blogger from Wellington who can't be named who currently wants a free computer........I don't often do these but today was a brilliant exciting day....

Today we got a mention in the Otago Daily Times.

ODT

Questions have been raised about whether South Canterbury should have been accepted into the deposit guarantee scheme and blogger Cactus Kate has suggested South Canterbury did not meet all the requirements of its deed of guarantee with the Crown.

Completely fucking awesome.

Crocodile Idiot

Dumbest Australian This Week



Strangely not the idiots who voted for the Ginga woman but definitely Paul Hogan.

You are famous and under investigation for tax fraud, offshore structuring etc...etc... the LAST thing you do it travel back to the country when your mother dies for her funeral.

a) there is NOTHING you can do. She's dead. Why bother?
b) you are fair game. Like a croc in the wild...BOOM.....

The ATO had every right to ping you. Idiot. Rightly or wrongly they think you owe $100 million. Of COURSE they will use draconian powers to hold you.

Anyhow now the ATO have you by the tail, are kicking you in the head and you are f***ked.

I listened with great humour to Chris Trotter on ZB Thursday afternoon gasp in horror at this and keeping people in New Zealand until they have paid their child support debt. He deems me anti-libertarian.

He misunderstands me. When there are debts involved, all bets are off and you shall be held. Otherwise people just won't pay.

Paul Hogan is rich enough to never have to have returned to Australia, he's been captured. ATO win, he loses regardless of whether they are right or not. He's back and now he will have to negotiate from a position of weakness rather than strength.

Same with student loan and child support defaulters. You return to New Zealand you play by the rules of that country.

You lose.

Treasury Response

No grounds?

Granny Herald has published a Treasury response to points in my post:

Treasury spokesman Angus Barclay told NZPA the Crown had exercised all its powers appropriately to protect its interests as a guarantor. There were various requirements on companies under the guarantee scheme, he said. The guarantee could be withdrawn from companies which did not meet those requirements.

The parties to the DoG's are the Crown and the Finance company itself. What the Treasury boffins don't realise is that they do not judge whether their buddy Bill English acted appropriately, the public do.

When the CEO of SCF appears on television, tired and plainly without a lawyer in toe and admits to John Campbell that:

Bad loans were the main reason for its downfall, and Mr Maier revealed the high-risk tactic in an interview on TV3's Campbell Live programme.
Asked whether it had been cynically exploiting the government guarantee, Mr Maier replied: "It might have been cynical, it might have been merely incompetent ... it probably violated a lot of prudent lending criteria."

And there is a clause 6.3 in the original DoG and every one amended (with conditions strengthened, not weakened) since that states:

"During the guarantee period, the principal debtor shall ensure its business and operations (and the business and operations of its subsidiaries) are conducted in a proper, businesslike, efficient and prudent manner".

Liam Dann from the Herald has pointed similar:

For a start it was effectively in breach of its trust deed and had failed to file audited accounts. Having a look at the numbers is usually considered important when assessing a business decision. The Treasury - which officially makes the call on who gets in to the scheme - could have waited months before accepting the finance company. But it didn't. It rushed South Canterbury in to safety because the Government knew it was a goner without the guarantee - although in the end it was a goner anyway.

Perhaps Treasury isn't the best judge of the handling of this mess...... if they oversaw the DoG's then can they be so kind to let taxpayers know how much of the toxic debt the CEO admitted on Campbell Live was created during the period of the guarantee, they actually knew about?

Because the only way I can see SCF not to be in breach of the DoG's based on some of the evidence and statements floating around was if officials were informed and therefore consented to it carrying on the business this way.

In any case, a full interview by a senior business reporter with Mr Hubbard should enlighten us more. For that one, we cannot wait.