Smoke, Drink And Be Happy

Wowsers this past fortnight have not only tried their hand at controlling via tax what you eat, they have been all over smoking and drinking. If last year we had a "war on P" then this year there seems to be a "war on fun".

That's all we can call it as Geoffrey Palmer is a man who looks like he hasn't had fun since blowing his own trumpet on the 9th floor in that ghastly episode of Holmes.

Cue thunderous applause from Maori on the troughing tit who can smell new opportunities at the trough to run hopeless stop smoking and drinking campaigns from the increased tax take.

I don't smoke, never have and hate it. But I will defend the right of smokers to participate in their habit as long as they are considerate and do it well away from me. Every time you smoke you take away my right to breathe fresh air. Every other polluter does as well, but smokers standing right next to you can be dealt with.

There are dirty smokers - people who continually smell of the odour and often blow smoke and ash all over the place. Then there are clean smokers, those who successfully mask their habit by not smelling like an ashtray and are considerate to stand a reasonable distance away and not smoke up in confined areas.

People who smoke at home, well that is their own business and if I go to the home of a smoker then I know what to expect. It's a sad day in hell if a person can't have a cigarette in the privacy of their home but it is what we are heading towards.

If smoking is so bad then BAN it and see what happens. Seriously, the way smoking is talked of in Parliament you would think cigarettes are a class A drug. Cigarettes are not that bad and plenty of people die of other causes before the cancer sticks get them.

Smokers pay already through taxes and if they have private insurance, through higher premiums. As they die quicker, they cost less in superannuation, resthomes and "old age" illnesses. There are already too many people in the world and New Zealand wouldn't be able to afford smokers living longer. The only thing wrong with cigarettes in terms of government policy and the future of taxpayer funded superannuation is that they don't kill people quicker.

Four ACT MP's (Hide, Garrett, Douglas and Roy) were the sole votes against raising the tax on tobacco and cigarettes under urgency. Boscawen voted the other way as predicted given his stance on "fun". His views on alcohol are stunted by his personal choice not to partake in consumption of the devils fluid.

As to drinking, come on! As a consumer of champagne and basically nothing else unless I have to, what on earth damage can I cause on champagne at $120-180 a bottle in a restaurant? Very little. You get pissed, at worst a bit lippy with staff but nothing that can't be fixed with a tip, call a Corporate cab to pull up outside to pick you up and confine your damage to your home or hotel room. And I have never met a person who gets violent just on champagne. Well a few light-weight drinking women but they usually just fall over and asleep in the middle of their tirade.

I was recently surprised at the low cost of beer, having to buy some for the ACT on Campus party, perhaps government could lift the price of that to $120 a six pack and see how she goes. And that's the only issue with alcohol - pouring it down the throats of low incomed halfwits who can't or won't pay for a $25- to $50 taxi ride home so jump in their car and drink drive. The same halfwits who when they get home, beat up their Missus and fuel up causing general violence.

Lets face it, these sorts of neanderthals would do that without alcohol. Alcohol only brings out in people feelings that are already present in the person to begin with. Alcohol doesn't "make" a person into an arsehole. That person always has been an arsehole to begin with, he or she has just masked it with charm.

Perhaps that's the answer, make beer and wine as expensive as champagne. I've never seen much trouble at a champagne bar. And people dress, smell and behave better. But I am stuffed if you can argue away "social harm" to raise the price of champagne. Because the champagne drinker is not a beer or average supermarket wine drinker.

Then the old egg that supposedly solves everything in society, "lets raise the drinking age again". Again not one that affects me or ever did as there will be giggles of hysteria when I tell you that I didn't drink at all before the age of 20. Sure I had the odd false start first year at University like students do, but I never enjoyed it much. Well, not at all until I could afford champagne which only happened when I got a job. I have never finished a full can of beer, only drink vodka as a spirit and manage very few wine varieties.

But I say 18 or 20, it makes little difference. I generally don't drink in places that 18 or 20 year olds drink at but from what I see walking past them they are general cesspits of waste and depravity to stay well away from.

Again it comes down to the individual and I know many 18 year olds who are more responsible than 40 year olds when it comes to alcohol and general living. If you want to make a difference I say raise the age to 25. But we know what that would do, simply drive the pleasure underground as teenagers will always have access to booze.

The key to young people and safe consumption of booze is stopping them getting into the drivers seat and having them home before fights start or in the girls' case, they are too paralytic to run away from predatory males.

Having 18 year olds drink is the price we pay for beginners mistakes. They would be making these mistakes at 20 if the age is increased again so it makes little difference and the reason I think raising the age to 20 is just political posturing.

Then last week a gardening company Switched on Gardener showed how switched on they really are by being busted for being a cannabis ring. Hands up who feels safer now 250 people have been arrested for growing and supplying weed? How many police resources were diverted to this nonsense when they were supposed to be hunting the evil, deadly "P"? In recreational amounts I will never accept that weed is dangerous and worthy of such disdain. Like anything if abused it is dangerous but that anything could be passing silly laws. At present Government, lead by the Maori Party are in danger of swamping the country with silly laws and tax increases and abusing you all to dangerous levels.

If the Maori Party are so concerned about smoking and drinking why don't they have a separatist pricing system where Maori pay more for cigarettes and alcohol and leave the rest of New Zealand the hell alone? A Maori Tax. Bet that goes down well.

Raising the price of cigarettes for example that $3 a packet takes $21 a week from the Maori family budget. Money that will be taken perhaps from something important, like the power bill or children's school fees.

Maori have far more social problems than drinking and smoking and the Maori Party's quest to make everyone suffer for their own people's shortcomings, will not work. Their ever-increasing violence towards each other and downright savagery towards female relatives and babies may be fueled by alcohol and drugs but that is just a poor excuse, it is deeper and more inherent in the culture than that through a lack of leadership and respect for themselves and each other. Taxes will not change that and no other race of person in New Zealand can address the issue without being deemed racist.

Turia and Sharples getting on their taxpayer funded bicycles and telling Maori through the fear of God and sanction by the Maori Party not to smack up their kids and missus would have more effect. That's why the sickly white liberals are happy they are in Government, they want to segregate Maori to be dealt with by the Maori Party. Because at the end of the day that is what Turia and Sharples and Harawira mean by social harm, Maori on Maori violence, whether another Maori or self harm. The Maori Party couldn't care less about the rest of New Zealand. These stats they face in terms of the violence in their culture from the Are you Ok website:

Half of all children killed by caregivers are Maori.

Seven times more young Maori women and four times more Maori children are hospitalised from an assault compared to Pakeha women and children.

49% of Maori women experience partner abuse at some time in their life, compared with 24% of Pakeha and 23% of Pacifica women.

The answer is to remove taxes altogether off cigarettes and alcohol and make people with the savings, pay the full cost of their medical treatment if they get sick from smoking and drinking or cause harm from cigarettes and drinking against other people. And move to a self-insurance scheme for any accidents or injury claims.

That would be called i.n.d.i.v.i.d.u.a.l r.e.s.p.o.n.s.i.b.i.l.i.t.y.

Sadly lacking in New Zealand, but not when you go to a private insurer and apply for insurance. You get to see just how discriminatory in price and policy that a corporate gets in granting you the privilege of insurance. Age, sex, smoker, drinker, pre-existing condition, chronic conditions.

Right now if insurance companies could discriminate against persons on the basis of race, Maori premiums would be through the roof based on their shocking statistics in health, violence and accidents from drinking and harming one another. This would be your Maori tax but the companies cannot charge it.

Tax increases to cigarettes and alcohol without behavioural cultural change will not change these woeful statistics it will simply result in Maori using money from elsewhere in their budgets to fuel these habits.

Noz Captures The SEG

An List piccy

Norrie Montgomery (aka Noz) seems to be back into full swing. Standard operating procedure in action. Picture Denise from World here with SEG (shit eating grin) standing next to displaced volcano refugees from Eyjafjallajoekull. Can't go home without the SEG shot.

Denise with last surviving columnist from Eyjafjallajoekull

A woman who once never smiled teeth for the camera, now adorns Norrie's pages with a SEG every time. That is a SEG of a woman getting some action for sure.

She called Princess Anne as boring as batshit, hallelujah for that and is lets face it - completely out there. So good on her.

I've tried really hard venturing into their shops over the years but I've never understood World, but they probably don't understand me either so lets call it a draw for us and another win for Noz.

Maori Party Gets You 12.5% Off At Euro?

I have just been sent the four pages of the GST (Exemption of Heathy Food) Amendment Bill. At first I thought it was a joke. Nanny Rahui being a lawyer and former policy analyst and all.

Goods and Services Tax (Exemption of Healthy Food) Amendment Bill

The Bill is so simplistic all it does is insert the definition of "healthy food" into section 2(1) of the Act and then adds "healthy food" to the list of exempt supplies at section 14(1).

The definition of "healthy food" is what we thought last week:

• Fruit and vegetables (including fresh, frozen, canned and dried):
• Breads and cereals (including all bread, grains, rice and pasta):
• Milk and milk products (including cheese, yoghurt and plain milk, but excluding ice cream, cream products, condensed and flavoured milk):
• Lean meat, poultry, seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds and legumes

The Australian Legislation runs into pages of in and out exemptions. Covering processed and unprocessed food for example. Right down to differences in cooked and uncooked chicken. It splits food for human consumption (taxable) and basic foods (which are not). The Maori Party could not even copy that properly. Neither have they excluded water. The most basic of human necessity.

The issue highlights again the Maori Party's typical lazy and thoughtless attitude to this proposal (as with most of their drafting).

Will dining at Euro now become technically 12.5% (well 11.11% on today's prices) less expensive as all my favourite dishes now fall under those "healthy food" definitions?

The makers of the Duck pancakes and the infamously fatty Simon Gault's chicken and mash will be delighted to know that both are now considered "healthy" and GST exempt for consumers.

Personally I am now 100% behind this crazy Bill if it includes restaurant food with its exemptions. Will save me personally a small bundle on entertainment.

Gooner looks at the McDonalds issue.

Whaleoil looks at the object of his 2nd most desire (behind my new Macbook Pro) - The KFC Double-down and finds out most of its ingredients are "healthy".

Quiet In The Cheap Seats

Airlines are currently pleading with people to delay their travel so the airlines can fly stranded passengers home on those flights. The issue brings home all the cut and thrust of excessive demand for resources over a limited supply.

So what would you do? Would you give up your flight (and all your hotel, rental car and ongoing bookings) so that an economy class traveller can get back home?

It's not a very tough question really - of course you would not.

Airlines owe it to their frequent flyers, business and first class passengers to fly them first. These people will fight to the death to get their flight home, even if it means they have to shell out more cash.

For everyone else I am afraid it is a scrum.

Why should a family get preference over a business traveller? Or an elderly person over a mother travelling with a baby? Or an unaccompanied child over a backpacker?

The issue remains with insurance. It will be a nightmare trying to claim under any travel insurance policy because a volcano is an "act of god" under most definitions. Giving up your flight may be actually impossible without bunging up the rest of your trip.

I heard a silly woman complain airlines were giving preference to business, first and frequent flyers. I was hoping someone would give her a slap. While she was on an economy ticket, probably a non-refundable fare she purchased miles in advance on a cheap ticket, business, first and frequent flyers are flying in those classes because - well I am afraid for her, they are more important for the airlines survival.

The golden rule of travel is NEVER give up your seat for anyone. No good ever comes of it and once you give the seat up your name becomes just another lost in the airline booking system. You either end up on a crappy slow plane, in a bad seat, having the meal you prefer run out before the air mattress gets to you and even when the airline gives you a hotel for the night it is a 3 star hotel near the airport in a room without sound-proofing with a meal voucher for a nominal amount that excludes alcohol. So just say "no" always,

And for all those "stranded" travellers complaining they had run out of money? What nonsense - if you cannot afford to stay for a few more weeks on vacation one does ask if you could afford it in the first place.

Random Impertinent Question

I hate supermarket shopping, yet sometimes have to enter the Kingdom of hell to retrieve provisions that the hotel does not procure for me.

It is an experience so horrible to me that Saturday I spent the entire day watching DVD's and ordering room service delaying the inevitable.

Venturing out today I had a list in my head of items, one very important for a female. So flustered was I that I remembered all the items except for the one very important one.

Made worse for any shopping experience is the presence of children, ducking and sidestepping with the trolley. I just want to ask one question of parents:

Why do you take children to a high-end supermarket?

If you are rich enough to pay $NZ7 for a bloody lettuce, you are rich enough to pay for childcare.

Nanny Rahui - Having Her Cake and Eating It Too

Nanny Rahui wants your pies Parekura!

Big but not a hypocrite

The Maori Party has introduced the contender for the most stupid piece of legislation of the year. It is stupid in context and in form. It is also the reason that the National-ACT-Maori coalition is one from the side of hell presently. Maori keep coming up with legislation that is utterly inconsistent with its coalition partners'. At some point members of those two parties will start to scream loudly. It is already happening.

"This bill is about getting families ahead and helping them to eat healthy," she said.

Problem is for Nanny that it will not achieve either objective.

Case in point, Nanny Rahui is now an MP and relatively well off for a Maori woman. Having that salary has I am afraid to say, morphed into putting the pounds on through a derivative of the "Heathrow Injection" called the "Beehive Injection". As it often does. There is little correlation based on even the MP's in the House between being able to afford healthy food, and actually consuming it.

Increases for the staples of a nutritious diet including fruit, vegetables and milk, have been particularly high so it is increasingly important that healthy food be made affordable, Mrs Katene said.

One week the Maori Party may very well be voting to raise GST to 15% and the next breath they will be voting to lower the GST on specific food groups to zero. National will Smile and Wave and stick with their edict that any tax changes have to be "neutral". Therefore any GST decreases will need to be paid from somewhere else.

The issue I have with the promoters of this legislation is quite simple.

Here we have a political party of a certain race of people based on separatism now telling us what is "healthy" and "unhealthy" food. Some 41.7% of Maori are obese.

Lets face it taking dietary advice from a political party representing Maori is like the Unions advocating employers take workers' rights lessons from Mainland Chinese.

A political party where its own co-leader cheated her weight loss and had a stomach staple.

And that is how Nanny Rahui has couched this legislation. Not a revenue gathering exercise (because it is not as it will reduce GST on some goods), but in fact a health issue to encourage people (hers as she only represents Maori by definition) through the wallet to eat supposedly healthier foods.

Nanny also quotes Australia in this incomprehensible twaddle bringing in the sides we drive on the road?

"This Government is bringing many of our policies into line with Australia, where there is no GST equivalent on healthy food, from incomes to tax and even what side of the road we drive on.

Yep Nanny, best you don't go too far down that line as I can't see many indigenous peoples rights successfully applied in Australia and the emergence of an Aborigine Party shortly!

The Bill isn't available for my consumption yet however the first releases specify a few categories for the definition of "healthy foods":

The bill defines healthy food as:
• Fruit and vegetables (including fresh, frozen, canned and dried):
• Breads and cereals (including all bread, grains, rice and pasta):
• Milk and milk products (including cheese, yoghurt and plain milk, but excluding ice cream, cream products, condensed and flavoured milk):
• Lean meat, poultry, seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds and legumes

If ALL bread and pastas are healthy then the average size of a New Zealand woman would be in the single digits. Bread and pasta are NOT all healthy. Neither are for example dried Mangoes. Or tinned fruit, fatty CHICKEN. Or potato when you roast or fry it as Red Alert pointed out. Whaleoil has a list of instant stupidity in this law. He will add others for sure. Tim Selwyn at Tumeke's asked why water isn't on the list. He has a point.

Anyone wondered why Asians are so thin? Well they are not individually great drinkers of milk or consumers of dairy to start with. There are more calories in some brands of milk than there are in classic coke and beer. Yoghurts are another hidden food that those losing weight will tell you to stay the hell away from. As for cheese? Mouth of fat anyone? That's right, New Zealand's production staple even in low-fat versions is still rather bad for you.

This legislation cuts at the heart of every ACT member. It is a classic example of wastage in government and is the antithesis of what ACT is all about as it panders to Nanny hand-holding in its purpose. To think John Boscawen's Climate Change Response (Cancellation of Emissions Trading Scheme) Amendment Bill has to wait in line behind this nonsense. It seeks to classify foods based on government telling you that they are good or bad. Worse still is that it will be the Maori Party telling you they are good or bad and designing policy around such.

Would you take dietary advice from a Personal trainer who stapled their stomach? That's in effect what you are doing if you let the Maori Party leadership pass this bill.

Since when has increasing the price for example of alcohol or cigarettes had real differences in consumption? It doesn't. All it does is empty pockets of those who are most likely to consume them, lower incomed stupid people. We cannot legislate against stupidity.

Likewise we cannot force Maori families to cook and prepare food for their families themselves. There is a lot of rhetoric behind that:

"If one banana is going to cost the same as a big packet of potato chips and a mother needs to feed three children on a measly budget, she'll likely chose the chips."

Well if the mother was smart, she would pick up many of the budget cooking books and tight arse ways to live put out by a myriad of experts on the topic, get off her lazy no doubt ample arse and COOK for her family.

Maori, particularly young Maori, choose the chips over the banana because the chips taste better. For heaven's sake it is that simple. They choose the chips because they can't organise themselves properly to cook. They choose the chips because even if the chips make them fat their rolemodels such as Tariana Turia simply fixes her fatness with a stomach staple. If the Maori are poor enough, the taxpayer will very shortly likely pay to fix their overconsumption of unhealthy food anyway, so what is the point?

The chips on their own are not bad.

Hamish Carter shared with me the secrets of his calorie intake one night at a beach party. It was massive. Yet Hamish is the size of a waif. A Maori Party member consuming those calories would look like a fat blob. Difference is Hamish runs the calories off and was on the same beach at 6am running along it. Calories are not bad and no food on its own is unhealthy. Calories without exercise and energy expansion are bad and without energy expansion ANY food can be unhealthy by the very definition of calorie burning.

A Bill to ensure her people got off their fat arses and exercised would be more effective than lowering the price on food that the majority of New Zealanders do not want to eat anyway. New Zealand already enjoys some of the lowest fruit and vegetable prices in the world by virtue of being self-sufficient. There is no excuse for not consuming these "healthy" foods based on price alone.

The only good thing about Nanny's bill is that it wishes to lower taxes. But it is a waste of time as Maori health will not benefit one iota from this piece of cuisine bashing.

Supporters seem to be basing the GST exemption on a not linked anywhere) study of just 1,100 shoppers by Wellington Medical School (or Otago if you believe the link).

However, if 12.5 percent was removed from the price, there was an 11 percent increase in the buying of healthy food.

Where is the break-down of ethnicity and income of those shoppers? Were beneficiaries and the poor included and what were their statistics compared with other groups? The study was at supermarkets. This would exclude all those unhealthy purchases we know that low income people especially make when they fuel up their car or go to the local dairy because they are too disorganised to make the supermarket.

The best link is here from Reuters where it says something quite different to what Pinko welfare groups are peddling today to back up Nanny.

Participants still ate the same amount of "unhealthy" food!

"The price reductions may have provided an additional incentive over and above health to buy healthier foods," explained Ni Mhurchu. And although these reductions didn't change the quantity of unhealthy food purchased, almost two thirds of the additional healthy purchases were fruit and vegetables -- low caloric foods that Ni Mhurchu thinks most people need to consume more of anyway.

So how much was that?

This was an 11 percent increase from purchases made prior to the study and included just over a pound (480 grams) more fruits and vegetables per week, or about six servings. The total difference dropped to around 0.8 pounds (380 grams), but remained significant, six months after the study was over.

So the 11% increase was based on 480 grams a week more a week with the discount. Woopy.

John Key has already commented in Parliament. He considers that the tax neutrality of GST increases will compensate for Nanny Rahui's concern.

Rahui Katene: Does the Prime Minister believe that raising GST would create financial pressure, which, judging by McDonalds’ record profits since the recession, would encourage people to eat unhealthy foods; and what progress has he achieved in examining the issues for low-income New Zealanders?

Hon JOHN KEY: There is no reason why people will be driven to unhealthy foods if their incomes are compensated for the increase in GST, and if the relative prices of foods stay the same. A rise in GST, for example, will not affect the relative price of an apple compared with a packet of chips. I also say to the member that different rates of GST on different foods would create huge complexities, and hundreds of pages of tax rules on things like a chocolate biscuit

The Maori Party have to learn that they cannot legislate for the nation to solve problems for Maori when the problems are caused solely by a lack of personal responsibility and presence of laziness.

Before Rahui Katene decides to espouse higher taxes for "unhealthy" food than "healthy" food it may help her to eat some of the healthy stuff to set the sort of example required to be a Food Nazi.

Until then she, along with Parekura, Gerry and Tariana pre-staple, are living proof that higher disposable incomes and therefore more affordability do not necessarily lead to better health or nutrition.

Coming next - Geoffrey Palmer and those STUPID recommendations to get New Zealand off the piss. He's got a better chance of getting his name off Chen & Palmer.

Update - thank you for the readers who emailed and commented in that Nanny Rahui herself has entered the Maori Party Dietary "healthy food"clinic aka having your tummy tucked.

Random Impertinent Question

A female friend of mine has just broken up with her husband of seven years. She's wealthy, successful, has loads of female friends and soon to sell her small business after working hard for more than a decade.

He's none of the above and hasn't contributed a cent to the relationship property for the best part of his last well-paying job which was some five years ago.

In the jurisdiction where they live, a 50/50 split is a standard.

Question - Why is it just still so pathetic when a man thinks he has a claim to half of a woman's financial assets?

Volcano Fran Grounds Plane Jane

Fran O'Sullivan redeems herself today from a recent slide to the dark side, with an excellent eruption of Plane Jane Diplock's latest shenanigans.

Even if you forget what Diplock is paid and what her travel travel and expenses are, her greatest crime in being asleep at the wheel while overseas at IOSCO functions and now blaming others:

Diplock has proved quite a skilled blame-shifter.

She cleverly played on the Prime Minister's game plan for NZ to be a financial hub for Asia Pacific by telling TVNZ New Zealand's regulations were "not good enough".

Yet in her reports she has said her IOSCO role has direct benefits for New Zealand.

Jane Diplock is on the Board and a pin-up of New Zealand Global Women. When the Old Girls club was announced, O'Sullivan subtly mocked it, then in the same breath was appearing at the inaugural conference in the capacity as New Zealand's leading and most experienced female business journalist.

An Old Boys club wouldn't allow O'Sullivan back in for such a schlacking of one of its members, particularly a Senior Board member who worked closely on the Securities Commission with the Chairperson of the Old Girls club - Mai Chen.

Lets see if after today, O'Sullivan is ever invited back. Her column was that damning.

Diplock's appointment doesn't end until September 2011. Maybe David Farrar can run iPredict on her lasting until then.

Sam Morgan - Ruining It For Others

Pinko Alert


"I pay no tax".

Thing is Sam you do and you can pay more so stop blubbing.

"Now I've got no income effectively, because I don't have a proper job, so the tax that I pay is minimal.

"Proper job" is a lovely Socialist definition isn't it? If Morgan coined $227 million on the sale of Trade Me then even if he stuck it all in the bank at say 5% interest he would earn $11.35 million per annum and pay RWT alone of $4.31 million - a tax of 1.9% of his total wealth. In the meantime others borrow this money off the banks and can invest in their own businesses.

"I was lucky enough to sell my company in a country with no capital gains, so I paid no tax on the sale.

No you weren't "lucky". You have given interview after interview proclaiming how hard you worked and how you had a good idea. Well if you never have another good idea in your life it was $700 million of good idea. It must have been a bloody good one for someone to buy it for that.

"The tax I do pay, I throw money into my charitable foundation. I can't touch that money, it is for charitable purposes. I pay basically no tax. And that's not right, but what am I supposed to do?"

Yeah right. What am I supposed to do he says? Well he can stop claiming credits for the charitable foundation can't he? And start giving his money away through charitable donations AND pay the tax on it.

You can actually overpay the IRD Sam if you feel that guilty about your wealth. Just write them a bloody big cheque every year for as much as you think you should pay and leave the money sitting there. Every year. Don't claim the refund. A loan to the New Zealand government if you like, that they never have to pay back.

But instead he's blubbing on with the same sort of mad logic his father Gareth possesses.

Stop trying to look like a hero and blubbing about the tax system if you don't actually pay any. If you think you should pay more then pay more as a voluntary tax. Write the Commissioner a nice note stating you felt undertaxed and he should accept your voluntary tax.

Just don't expect the rest of the country to give you a medal if you suggest they do likewise. You've made your multi-millions so stop ruining it for the rest of New Zealand. Ditto for your father.

Didn't Know Labour Had Such Fun

Ian Wishart has interviewed Tim Barnett's special friend and Mika's child lover Hamish Jevan Goulter for his latest edition of Investigate. I have read the full article.

Whaleoil has a summary

The most serious allegations in my view are:

- Had Speaker Jonathan Hunt intervening in favour of 14 year old with security at Parliament.
- Alleges Chris Carter was phoned and intervened on 14 year old’s behalf with CYFS to release 14 year old.
- Chris Carter “remembers” pinging Goulter in parliament and “sending him home” to Christchurch.
- Goulter was at one time under the “care of the Speaker’s Office”

And to me the most damning:

- Alleges Judith Tizard paid Mika (pictured above from Christchurch Art Gallery) hush money to keep Goulter quiet in election year via Arts grants.

If even half of it is true it is utterly sensational on the basis I didn't realise Labour had SO much fun.

Among the drinking stories is an allegation that senior Labour MP's (Charles Chauvel, Chris Carter, Tim Barnett and (cough, splutter) Michael Cullen, smoked dope.

I say bloody good show. Can you imagine Dr Cullen with a bloody large joint toking up in his best pinstripes? Marvellous. Nothing wrong with that, however rather hypocritical and lovely that they didn't decriminalise while in Parliament.

All and all whomever this kid is, what on earth were Labour MP's doing letting him into their circle of adult colleagues with free wheels around Parliament? He alleges he drank with Michael Cullen, Lianne Dalziel, Ruth Dyson, and Annette King frequently. I find it a little hard to believe that those four collectively could be that stupid.

To get this close to come out with some of the stuff in Wishart's interview, he would have had to have had a close relationship with an MP. Tim Barnett seems to have shown an incredible lapse of judgment and his senior MP's were too slow to chuck the little f***er to touch.

He was a child when this happened, the relationship with Barnett was just incredibly unhealthy, not from a sexual point of view but given Goulter's disturbed background, it was asking for trouble in the same way it would be for a straight male MP to hang out with an underage girl and introduce him to his social circle and workplace.

I agree with Whaleoil that there is no way Heather Simpson knew about any of this as she would have put a stop to it quick smart. And that Jacinda Ardern comes across as the only sensible Labour Party person in dealing with this drama queen cherry fruit loop.

If Chris Fletcher Is The Answer - What Was The Question?

One step forward, three back...

Chris Fletcher, age 107 of Remuera has decided she would like to stand for Super City.

She was a ghastly wet Pinko in the National Party, a born to rule trougher back then, a cry baby and now she wants to get back into politics.

Oh please!

Mr Banks said if the pair were elected to the Super City on October 9 he would offer her a senior role. Asked if Mrs Fletcher could become deputy mayor, he said "anything is possible".

The woman is a hopeless political wet. What on earth are C&R thinking as they should be trying to bring in some new professional talent? Brings back my definition of them while assisting the Auckland NOW campaign - Crusty & Rusty.

Fletcher is both.

Resort Exhaustion

I'm on holiday presently and have officially bombed out today, the last day of four days of holiday with resort exhaustion.

Suddenly I've realised all the food tastes the same. The in-room dining tastes the same. Same, same, same......same people here who arrived the same day I did.

Further analysis proved that the menus are based on almost identical ingredients, slight changes in name of dishes.

The constant "hello Madam" from the staff who seem to outnumber the guests 10 to 1. The failure of those 10 to 1 staff to actually complete a task successfully. The inane billing system and the bowing and scraping, and no productive result. So much nicer when you are travelling with a bloke and as a female in Asia you are completely ignored so he has to do all the comms work.

Definitely time to leave!

Key Needs To Respect Taxpayer Funding

Smiling and Waving still at students

"Smile and Wave" Key has come out with an extraordinary statement today:

Mr Key today said while the Government could afford interest-free student loans there needed to be greater respect for taxpayer funding.

"The poor old cleaner that's out there, working from midnight to six in the morning, or eight in the morning, working their socks off to get paid the minimum wage is actually paying taxes to go to the students, that's fine as long as the students actually taking the process seriously."

If that's really the case he should respect the cleaner (well other taxpayers not on WFF or income support, who have paid their own way through education without student loans or paid interest on them) and make the students, all whom with their education will be earning a truckload more money in the future than the cleaner, pay interest on their student loans from the second they draw them down.

Like we all had to.

Wendy L. MIA

Perhaps moved to premium content and not available online??

It's now 6pm NZT Sunday and still no sign of this week's sit-com humour. Chop, chop.

Before I head off to the hotel pool I was hoping for a wrap-up review based on my commentary this week.

Minger Is The "Disgusting" One

HoS repeating standards.....


HoS has run a filthy sleazy turd of a campaign to wind Rodney Hide's former wife Jiuan Jiuan into giving them cheap copy. It started way back here. And here and here

It has moved to this to this empty gutter piece of repeating.

Bad move.

A clear analogy is attempting to be drawn between Don "Juan" Brash and his seedy affairs and DJB's eventual resignation as National Party leader. Unlucky. And that of Richard Prebble.

The sad thing for HoS is that all of Rodney's friends that I know think enough of his former wife to see this story as the piece of wind-up shit tabloid trash that it is. I do and she's a victim of the vicious "Mingsting".

The best defence is an attack against a Mingsting by virtue of the truth. Here it is......

I met Jiuan Jiuan when I was 19 years old and at University. She is a very nice, quiet dignified lady who always is very polite and hospitable to anyone who visited her home then and she still is now some 15 years later. I like her and wish her well in her life, I have no reason not to. Plenty of Rodney's friends wish her well also. I don't know a single one of Rodney's friends who does not. We all have fond memories of her being a nice woman and a gracious person.

I also like the new woman in Rodney's life and wish her and Rodney the best. She's lovely as well and Rodney and Louise have been a couple long enough now for it not to be breaking news. That is their relationship is a real one, not some cheap tacky Minger affair piece belonging in her buddy Porkie's slag section reserved for thee who has pissed Porkie off this week therefore appearing in her gossip column.

Of Rodney's friends that I know, we all like Jiuan Jiuan and we all like Louise.

Carolyne Meng-Yee you are a filthy scum Muppet. The sad thing is that if your marriage ever broke up because your husband saw the light and rooted something better, no one would ever care enough to troll your acquaintances and enemies to find out the mountainous amount of shit no doubt that exists about your past and present personal life.

People drift apart and marriages break-up. Around repeaters offices right now are a myriad of such examples of rooting Editors, deputy Editors, senior repeaters, woe and ho's. There for the grace of God go you all.

Just like no one has a perfect marriage no one has a perfect divorce either. There isn't a nice way to end a relationship. One party is always more pissed off than the other. Shit happens.

Wellington's a shitty lonely place for most MP's, press gallery reporters and state sector wonks. Rodney has had a steady relationship with his new girlfriend for a long period of time now. Rodney and Jiuan Jiuan have been separated for three years now. Why are the divorce papers such a newsworthy event for heavens sake?

Rodney's not out on the rooting circuit like many newspaper Editors, deputy Editors and Senior repeaters. He's in a committed relationship with another thoroughly nice woman and hasn't looked even sideways at another woman since he hooked up with her. He's changed his lifestyle over the years to a healthy positive one and I haven't seen him touch a pie or a drop of alcohol in memory.

So how many of you have got that? Yep. Now take a dose of STFU and go back to repeating about things like the weather and interviewing Facebook and Google to get your "sources".

There was nothing new in this article today. No breaking story. Jiuan Jiuan didn't say anything that added to the debate. She sounded like every pissed off ex-wife who has just received divorce papers. That was the worst part of the story. There was none. As was there no new story to this piece of surmising from Matt Nippert. I mean seriously was there not enough advertising sold this week so HoS had to be filled with this nonsense?

This is Minger doing her job. Shit stirring pleasant people into saying unpleasant things to make herself famous for something that doesn't even matter - repeating.

Once could call her style of getting a story - bullying.

The Editor of the HoS this week doesn't much care for bullies.

Shame HoS keeps paying them to be on staff.

Whale Helping Little Old Ladies

Whaleoil has ruined his image entirely as being an uncaring arsehole with this little gem of a story.

I found a let­ter from 1988 from a lawyer in How­ick. We rang and turns out she had out­lasted him, the firm was still in oper­a­tion and she was their client. There are no next of kin, only a dis­tant cousin in Eire who wrote just a month ago won­der­ing why her phone no longer worked and whether she was ok. It was un-opened. Now it looks like the lawyer will han­dle the rest, my bit is over. I don’t think she will be back to the house.

The Police took a week call Age Concern over.

A topical question at the moment would be whether whanau ora would assist this woman?

The Two Heads of Wendyttle

A note to other bloggers. Should you ever wish to have your email in-box crammed with a polarised variety of comment, try blogging on Wendyl Nissen. I did so on Monday and posted various comments for Tuesday.

On Sunday afternoon I compiled a short post titled "Wendyl Jumps The Shark". The term is used according to Wikipedia:

Jumping the shark is an idiom used to describe the moment of downturn for a previously successful enterprise. The phrase was originally used to denote the point in a television program's history where the plot spins off into absurd story lines or unlikely characterizations. These changes were often the result of efforts to revive interest in a show whose viewership has begun to decline, usually through the employment of different actors, writers or producers.

Wendyl's columns I opined, had "jumped the shark". As one email to me stated "when was Wendyl near a shark to be able to jump it?", another "the rot set in ....well we can't remember". Other emails today were concerned at my piss-taking of Wendyl in that she was feared, powerful and influential. That's nice to know but as I have a well-rounded approach to being rude about most media organs in New Zealand it is wasted time to have my head up the chook of anyone in the media in New Zealand with any power at all. Power being anyone dishing out these couple of hundy a week column deals that Wendyl seems to suck up like a hoover. We should open up a can of woopy for one of those shouldn't we? Been there done that. Filling your tabloid with "name" columns to fill gaps between advertisements is entirely less expensive I guess than employing actual journalists to investigate stories of complexity and worth but good grief Wendyl under the tag "Family Life" is making Kerre Woodham look like Anna Quindlen, putting her entire family up for ridicule as characters in her sit-com that I give my middle-aged , womens magazine reading mother credit for skipping.

Yes I made the apparent mistake around town of criticising Wendyl's work. Which is irrelevant to my future MSM prospects as I have summised as I live in Hong Kong and she is to break into the Chinese market, and as for future MSM prospects, well I accept that I have absolutely none. So in storms of rage a few angry supporters of Wendyl's and husband Paul Little responded.

I will from here on in term the double-headed media monster from Grey Lynn - Wendyttle. One head P.Little and the other Wendy L.

P.Little decided he would comment on the blog stating he neither cared what I wrote or took it seriously enough to comment. Yet he commented. P.Little was subjected himself to a secondary belittling from my more than aptly equipped readers happy to vent spleen over the downgrading of MSM.

On the basis of those angry supporters of Wendy L.'s not quite understanding the terminology, I will now extrapolate on what I mean about Wendy L.'s "jumping the shark" with an indepth analysis of her past ten archived references on the Herald website. Because we know that Wendyttle as a collective always worries about serious indepth analysis of issues in their respective roles as columnists for the highly acclaimed news sources being the Herald on Sunday, Womens Weekly and former roles as editors of FQMen, Metro and Listener and suspected roaming role as current contributors of Felicity Ferret. That's right, word around Auckland is that it is Wendyttle that is compiling the outdated recycled recreational abuse of gossip under the once great banner of Felicity Ferret, despite an attempt at throwing us off the scent in the March 2010 edition by nicknaming Wendy L. "Hen-Dyl Nis-Hen". It was a clincher, for why on earth would a gossip column bother with a woman who seems quite happy staying at home dreaming up recipes for cleaning things. If the Ferret was someone other than Wendyttle, then surely Wendy L's columns would be up for a right Royal going over so I do not have to do it for the audience?

In events culminating of the Shark Jumping from Wendyttle, we have endured:

14th February - Wendy L. asks P.Little for KY gel to rub on a chicken's prolapsed uterus. P.Little cleans up the mess from the eventual plopping of the eggs and discarded gloves and states of the KY, "I told you that would come in useful one day".

21st February - P.Little sends Wendy L. off to do heavy lifting. Wendy L. moans at lack of assistance from young male strangers and forgets P.Little has sent her off to do man's work and writes them all off as having bad manners rather than the probably truth - they recognised Wendy L. and knew to stay the fuck away.

28th February - Endorsement column for Essity at Wellington airport that grovelled at Madam's feet. Slagging off of local store that didn't.

4th March - Herald reports Wendy L. has started a facebook group hating service at Grey Lynn Harvest Wholesalers called "Grey Lynn Harvest Wholefoods Survivors". Their crime appears to be making Madam wait ten minutes. The Group to date has just 50 members despite this wide MSM coverage.

7th March - Column about giving up drinking in the month of February. The Wendyttle couldn't last a dry month, after 12 days the P.Little head gave up and seemingly force fed Wendy L. some champers. Timing suggests that perhaps the Monster took it out on the poor chicken of 14th February column.

14th March - Wendy L. finally confesses how she column-storms: "What's annoyed me this week?". Rest of the precious column space that completes the bits between the advertisements is filled with dialogue of the Wendyttle wondering which head will write the column this week, ending in suggestion that next weeks column could be one about separation.

21st March - This week Wendyttle faces up to the nightmare of a broken kitchen appliance that broke out its demons almost six months before. Wendy L. will not pay the required amount of money to fix the dishwasher of $450 so more yelling at P.Little as Wendyttle has another meltdown about roles in the home leading to one head (guess which) saying to the other, "you are not the Boss of this house".

28th March - Wendyttle sleeps in the bedroom at the front of the house but the noise gets too much for Wendy L.. Whole column dedicated to explaining to friends and visitors why she is now sleeping on the sofa bed in the lounge.

4th April - Former New Zealand Magazine Editor responsible for having only beautiful celebrities (read: skinny) on her front cover complains about skinny women and suggests plus size models are okay. A commentor called "Size 8" then gives her a richly deserved slapping.

10th April - Shark Jumped per my comments.

So if the scuttlebutt is true and Wendyttle this uber-cool couple are having a large hand in the compilation of the limp Felicity Ferret, then God may need to save the ghosts of Patrick Steel and Judith Baragwanath hiding in the Ferret costume, for Wendyttle will not.

The largest single item in the March edition was a discussion between three friends on Facebook. Even Pork Chop can do better than that.

Garrett Has Another Strike At Silencers

The Forces of MSM darkness seem to not be letting David Garrett have a right of reply to critics of the three strikes law, a law that is already watered down enough. Behind this no doubt are certain limp-wristed National Party MP's. What is FIGJAM Power's real opinion?

Fortunately David has a blog and so can write his own replies.

Reply to Tapu Misa's nonsense
Reply to Bomber's nonsense

New Toy Incoming - Macbook Pro

As a kind reader predicted last week my new present to myself has just arrived. The new Macbook Pro.



I would ask the experts what to get but the answer is pretty obvious - the 15 inch 2.66Ghz fully spec'ed

HK has the nice US pricing for Mac's (still some 20% less expensive in Hong Kong vs NZ) if you click the link so my order shall be placed when I get back from my trip next week.

Wendyl Jumps The Shark

New lows

Wendyl Nissen is a prime example of a columnist who has tenure. For some unfathomable reason she has a permanent slot on the HoS.

Today I call too much.

The 47 year old devotes an entire column on a pregnancy scare to her poor pussy-whipped husband who has had a vasectomy. This after informing friends enough that they offered to adopt the child.

TOO much information.

"If you're pregnant I am never having sex with you again," said the husband, who was obviously in shock.

I suggest the same outcome now she's not pregnant. Imagine his shock when she informed him she would be writing a column on it. Poor man.

Fongterra Lets Out Groans

Philosophically and at a practical level sitting as a New Zealand export in the epicentre of free trade and commerce in Asia, I cannot have an issue with foreign ownership of New Zealand dairy farms.

I do not have an issue with it.

I am also realistic enough to know that New Zealand one day may not be able to afford to own its own grass given the poor productivity statistics and lack of financial support available within New Zealand to keep financing the purchase of dairy farm land that has such a poor return on investment under Fonterra's business model.

In short, while the more established debt-free operators are fine, currently small to medium sized dairy farms that require large financing (or have been financed in the past few years through the boom years) are uneconomic as a commercial venture and provide poor returns on capital even when financed at reasonable debt:equity ratios. Many smaller farms if financed heavily at NZD interest rates are not breaking and will not break even and therefore are performing as badly as the return on residential property in terms of a sane investment to those tipping the banks money and overdraft financing into it. Farmers are sticking in there for the lifestyle they enjoy (fresh air, and the main drawcard - they don't have to live in Auckland and work in an office) and most importantly the predicted huge capital gain at the end of it.

As such I see no reason for them to be treated in many ways with the same level of suspicion from a taxation perspective as residential property. If there are calls for residential property to be taxed on capital gains and have tax deductions rejigged, why not tax capital gains on the sale of farms and remove their tax deductions as well? The Agridata Blog published commentary on this issue of capital gains over productivity being the current focus for rural New Zealand. And read this colourful commentary from Steve Wyn-Harris ended in "how big are your balls" . He even admits in the publication that capital gains are the focus for purchase:

As we know even at the current lower land values, sheep and beef is only returning around 3% return on capital and dairy 5% ROC. With a fixed term cost of capital around 7.5%, it's not hard to see why there is hesitancy and reluctance from buyers and bankers. Potential capital gains are how we've justified these sorts of purchases in the past but is the old dependable model still working?

This is an aside but a scene setter for this post.

While I don't have an issue with foreign ownership, I do with doing business with people who are giant bullshit artists and don't come through with what is promised and positions are taken based on their promises. They irritate me regardless of their nationality, but as New Zealanders we are more offended when foreigners rip us off than we are when another New Zealander does it. The jury is still out on May Wang in this regard as emphasised in my two posts on the issue. More due diligence is required by the OIO before any sale involving her even as an agent can be satisfactorily completed. I will accept that.

Unlike various media outlets, one that I will examine here, I am happy to present looking at the other side of the case, where there is now a sniff of dirty tricks to sabotage the free market from operating and a drive to use ugly Kiwi rural Nationalism to pressure the OIO into a decision. With this in mind I have been forwarded an email exchange of 24th of February and 2nd of March from someone who wishes to be described as a former Fonterra insider that while is not conclusive proof of Fonterra interfering in the PR drive towards opposing large-scale Chinese entry, the heading of the email perhaps says enough on its own "Chinese in Southland".

Well how dare there be Chinese in Southland Your Honour? Send them back to Howick where they came from for those bloody Aucklanders to deal with! The email mentions the purchase of 50 farms as well as a processing site.

Fonterra re Chinese

With respect to media outlets, so far Farmers Weekly (recall part of the group purchased by Mark "Speedo" Weldon of which various MSM outlets and myself questioned thoroughly this time last year) have run a one sided campaign against Wang and co using information that did not necessarily first crop up anywhere else. I give other journalists credit in a free market for information to being able to dig up a certain amount of information such that I cannot believe that Farmers Weekly could get a fair jump on them.

Richard Rennie specifically detailed financial details of the deal, May Wang and other investors (the little written about Chinese billionaire Chen Fashu) cast in the most negative light before seasoned business reporting veterans (and Bernard Hickey) had a clue what was happening in terms of specific details. Several emailed me and asked if due to my Hong Kong connection if I knew anything about the players. Rennie already had this information.

Chen Fashu - King of the Cash-in

Rennie runs an agribusiness communications company from Tauranga and writes for a number of agricultural publications including NZ Farmers Weekly. He works at Laurich Communications with Heather Claycomb who describes herself as a director of HMC Communications that describes itself as a “marketing communications and public relations consultancy” that “focuses on building a client’s brand through news media and targeted stakeholder communications”. In other words - telling your story before other people do it for you. She describes herself as having ‘significant experience in the dairy industry, working with DairyNZ, Fonterra, the Dairy Women’s Institute, Sensortec and a variety of smaller ag organizations”. Nothing wrong with this, New Zealand is a small place.

Claycomb is conveniently a former Senior Consultant at the Baldwin Boyle Group. Commonly known as Fonterra’s one stop public relations shop and at that employment Claycomb managed the Fonterra ingredients account from February 2002 to May 2004.

In the email as attached, the players are as follows:

Michael Blomfield - Western Southland Area Manager, Fonterra
Kim Strawbridge - Fonterra Regional Manager, Field Services, South Island
Tony Wright - Manager Shareholder Services, Lower North Island, Fonterra, South Island
Gareth Lash - Milk Pricing Analyst, Fonterra Auckland

So I ask the following questions:

1. How is Richard Rennie, a part-time Tauranga freelancer writing for NZ Farmers Weekly, getting a jump on other larger mainstream media outlets with information that had yet to be publicly released I am informed by the party involved?

2. Has NZ Farmers Weekly published any copy yet that presents the May Wang or UBNZ side of the story in any positive light? Well looking at their archives the entire publication looks like a Fonterra good news press release centre.

3. Why are Fonterra staffers sending around emails titled "Chinese in Southland" under the guise of watching intensely what Wang was doing? We could invoke Competition law at this juncture but when dealing with the Nations sacred cow in Fonterra little laws like that don't really apply do they? Would they send a similar "Maori in Southland" if Maori tribes were looking at spending up on farms looking to buy their own processing plant providing Fonterra with the dreaded "c" for competition at any level?

4. Shouldn't Fonterra be focused on why as in Blomfield's email, there are "a number of farms still under financial pressure that would consider a sale"? Rather than tagging out the Chinese for their apparent proposed invasion of Southland. Happy, well-returning stakeholders don't consider selling if in business for the long term.

5. What is Baldwin Boyle's role as Fonterra's PR henchmen to counter the threat of the proposed Chinese consortium?

6. And the "spectre of Speedo" comes into play again, based on his promises last year, how does it play out that one of NZX's publications are running a one sided load of repeating Fonterra PR releases against foreign ownership - just at the same time that Fonterra is proposing this to its members, to open tradable units in Investment Funds that would require a platform for exchange?

Fair and balanced reporting would investigate Fonterra links regarding the sale. Wang hasn't shown for interviews so only has herself to blame in regard to her own bad personal PR, but the whole reporting thus far has the giant stench of Fonterra playing a panicked bully boy.

Fonterra claim 10 farmers a day are calling wanting them to buy the Crafar farms. Fonterra Chairman Henry van der Heyden stated in response to further grumblings from the white middle class male blokey audience with a stoic call to Nationalism -

"The question that you are asking is a `New Zealand Inc' question. You need to do something about it."

And Andrew Saunders, farmer, chipping in with a lovely diatribe about how Chinese lead the world by managing wage demands of their hundreds of millions of workers (plenty who would think NZ$5 an hour was a small fortune):

"They will bring in their own labour, pay them $5 an hour and sell the dairy products for a third of the price in China,"

There is no doubt that dairy farmers are as keen especially after melamine issues to further partner with the Chinese in ventures as Priests are to entertain little girls for a sleepover, but with respect to that thanks to Fonterra's business model many farmers cannot afford to actually stay farming and face uncertain futures. Farmers distrust the Chinese, that is clear. Farmers want control as part of their business culture, Chinese want control as part of their business culture. It will not work as the Chinese have a bottomless pit of money. For example of what New Zealand is up against, total New Zealand dairy farm assets are estimated to be worth $NZ67 billion. If you take the 2009 Forbes Chinese Rich List (in a year of depressed asset values) this is the collective worth of only the top 12 richest people in China. Yes, 12 Chinese businesspeople are worth more than the entire New Zealand dairy industry. Back in 2007 the richest Chinese businessperson was worth US$16.2 billion (NZ$23.14 billion), she could have bought a third of those assets herself.

Giving the Chinese some comfort however most long-time New Zealand farmers distrust every race of people other than their own and even then they distrust bankers, financiers, lawyers, accountants, Aucklanders, real estate agents, money market men the list goes on.....

You do only need to read Farmers Weekly to hear of doom and gloom on the horizon for farmers in the future. You only need to read the NBR comments to see just how protective the protectionalist have become. And sadly NBR attracts a more educated worldly New Zealander than most publications. Ditto Bernard Hickey's interest.co.nz where the comments were only slightly more measured.

If push comes to shove even the most Kiwi of blokes in the Crafar family would sell to the Chinese. Not because they want to, but because through a combination of poor returns, being stung by falling valuations and prices and now under Stiassny Inc. they have no choice in the matter.

As a collective New Zealanders want to protect the dairy industry however as individuals I doubt given the emphasis on the large payout not being $5.70 per kg or $6 or $7 but the tax free capital gain there would be many farmers who would not sell if the price was right while the taxpayer picks up the bill for the ETS.

Whanau Ora - Even Pinkos Don't Get It

Whanau Ora

Marty G at The Stranded breaks Whanau Ora down to two diagrams (the first I will steal as it is arrow-ligious) then still can't understand what the hell it is all about. Then the pinkos point to the second diagram being the Imperial emblem from Star Trek. Proving they may have a sense of humour.

I don't get it either. Next stop will be reverting to our Maori spiritual VRWC advisor Busted Blonde to see if she can translate public sector language into English. That's if we can pull her away from thinking about how to get at the trough herself.

The example was rather special though. No mention of finding the father and making him pay for the children he abandoned and mother who is shouldering all the burden for raising the children. And a 16 year old who of course dropped out of school.

Whanau Ora is going to get this woman more "suitable employment" - yep, like she hasn't already tried that. Reconnecting her with her family. Again, like she won't have tried that. Get the 16 year old a license. This after he's been driving around without one and being caught a couple of times. And supporting the mother to talk to the school and identify the bullies at school. Never fear, no whanau? Aunt Tari will look after you and tell you how to trough it out like the best of them.

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Very much like the ACT mentors program that ironically Donna Awatere-Huata advocated.

And yes as the pinkos point out, we know where that story ended up.

Mediapedia Out Now

Whaleoil has been working on a bloggers rating of repeaters over the past week. In true Whaleoil fashion he asked for input from VRWC members, got it, then did what he wanted in any case. Some other VRWC members have contributed but wish to remain anonymous, due to reasons that Barnsley Bill, WO and myself would call "taking it up the chook" trying to keep in with their media buddys.

At one point we labelled it the "Mediapedia".

I don't agree with many of the ratings but it is there or thereabouts.

It will be updated as and when the particular repeaters deserve to go right or left on the sliding scale.

Whanau Ora - Stating The Obvious

Right I am calling bullshit on this Whanau Ora nonsense. Here is the "PC" meaning:

In very simple terms 'whānau ora' relates to the wellbeing of whānau.

Whanau ora is determined by each whānau in relation to their own circumstances.

The Taskforce recognises that while government funded services and initiatives are significant, whānau, hāpu and iwi also have critical and distinct roles to play in facilitating whanau ora. These roles, relationships and responsibilities are based on whakapapa and lie outside Government.

Quite clearly this is not some new private sector initiative to provide services but it means more money for Maori troughers and is merely a transfer of your tax dollars from the black suited hole of the public sector and into the hands of the deep brown hole of the Maori troughdom related whanau receiving such "private" contracts.

We will be sure to see more of this. On what planet does any sane provider pay $171,000 to Tuku Morgan to consult on anything for 15 months? (13 because there's no way you can tell me he worked over Christmas).

All in all it doesn't solve any problems, just creates a movement of money from state sector and political apologists to Maori, many of whom have troughed for years with no measurable results to date. Remember for years the public sector has been littered with politically correct race based solutions. Violent crime in New Zealand has risen, Maori statistics in all the wrong directions have not improved ALL under the watch in the past nine years of a Labour government with more Maori representation and appointments than ever before.

The paper shows the plan is to take money from the Community Initiatives Fund, run by the Ministry of Social Develpment, and transfer it into a Whanau Ora services fund.

"For the government now to be proposing to gut that fund of $800,000 is going to be really devasting for the families that need our support to stop their violent behaviour," Dyson says.

They want in the latest example brought up by Ruth Dyson for $800,000 to transfer from family violence programs to Whanau Ora.

The PSA have even raised doubts themselves of the overlay of services.

The real question that must be asked however is what sort of stupid trash (of any race) are we dealing with when the taxpayer needs to spend $800,000 (or any amount of money) to attempt to stop families (of any race) from beating the shit out of their own kind?

Are these people really human enough to be helped? The baby killers and wife beaters.

Do we need to fund baby killers and wife beaters when knowing not to smack up your family should come as easy as the importance of breathing?

Money doesn't solve these problems. When will politicians learn that tipping more money down these colourful holes doesn't solve anything?

Until New Zealanders stop acting like neanderthals bashing up their kids and female partners then money and politicians can't solve the stupidity.

I can see why National have given the Maori Party this Whanau Ora. Based on the logic of every group of apologists, they think - give Maori the resources then if they stuff it up they have no one to blame but themselves.

Sadly this has been tried and failed in many instances before - Maori, like every other targetted group, will always come back to blame the Government of the day and everyone else but themselves. And the long suffering taxpayer is labelled "racist" if they call time on such assistance and ask the hard questions of what the hell they are doing with the money.

If Maori want a separate system of welfare and services to their people then non-Maori deserve a separate system of taxation such that they don't have to fund this politically correct experiment driven by a political party that doesn't even represent all Maori and is only in power thanks to a separatist electoral system giving out race based seats.

Yes Whanau Ora is as absurd as ACT asking and receiving from the National Party a system whereby people could elect to opt out of all public services if they do not receive any benefits from them and in return pay no tax towards the provision of those services. Like we would ever have that utopia of an ACT user pays society!

If so why does the Maori Party get Whanau Ora? Which is the reverse of user pays - more like losers don't pay.

Emptying Geeks Wallets

David P. Farrar, tech geek states

"Am getting moderately excited about the iPad. While I generally prefer to read books the old fashioned way, I can see how great it will be for students who can dump all their textbooks into it. Also would be great for lengthy trips – no more having to lug a dozen books in my suitcase".

I am not excited at all. The iPad has to be the most impractical piece of junk I have ever seen previewed in my life. I just cannot see the point of it at all. It would add absolutely no value or efficiency to my life.

I am waiting for the new Macbook Pro 2010, and they better bloody release one this year. Solid, functional and entirely more useful. If any tech geeks can tell me what it is rumoured to have this year that it didn't in 2009, then go ahead and comment.

I looked at the Macbook Air but like the iPad it lacks functionality that I need in a real laptop. Practicality in a gadget is my sole selection method. For example I will not buy an iphone and run a Blackberry Bold II because it is far superior for the operating system we run at work and random internatonal server. And it has keys. I like keys. Touchpads just piss me off.

My 2006 Macbook Pro needs the hammer as it shows signs of giving up the ghost so needs to be put out to pasture.

Email Feedback

Just got this lovely note on Easter Monday. I will not publish the email and person's name as I think it was really quite funny.


Dear Cactus

I hate you, all right wingers and I hate your blog. The only saving grace is that you are right wing and have no clear religious belief whatsoever.

have a nice day.

xxxxxx

He is correct. I have no clear religious belief whatsoever. I liken all religion to Enid Blyton's book "The Faraway Tree" and would never join the Republican Party in the US because of their religious bent.

There are no Easter trading laws in Hong Kong, we shop all weekend.

Cut Funding - Better Results

Is there a positive correlation between taxpayer funding for schools and success?

Wellington College has proven otherwise in this story by trainee repeaters from Whitireia at newswire.co.nz:

WELLINGTON College students achieved 107 scholarships last year, making it No 2 in the country according to figures due to be released next week.

“We are underfunded, as without teacher salaries we have to raise 57% of our budget, with the government giving us 43%.”

What a grand idea then. Cut funding to secondary schools. The Principal on the back of these results should wish to be "underfunded" more often. Well done to him in providing visionary leadership.

The Education Ministry should launch an immediate inquiry into why this school has done so well despite being "underfunded".

I'm picking there is more a correlation between good parents and success at school than money being poured down the bottomless pit of state funded education.

If so, a refocus on sorting out parents of underachievers with a good kick to the backside rather than just giving more money to losers seems to be a good place to start.

F for Family Fail

Wonder why he didn't tell them....

Being in the French Foreign Legion is probably not the sort of thing many children dream of doing, least of all for its toughness. It sounds awfully exciting, but not in a good way. The most exciting OE known to a teenager.

So when you run off to join the French Foreign Legion about the last thing you want your parents to do is to:

Give an interview with the bloody HoS!

He had given the legion permission to inform relatives he was alive - unlike many recruits who choose to "disappear" under a new identity.

Bad first move .....with ningnong parents like this, seems to be disappearing is a strong honourable thing to do.

Gekko All Rooted Out

"Libido Calms Down"

Can't wait to see Wall Street II and over Easter in anticipation I might pull out Wall Street I to watch the classic again.



He told Esquire magazine: "I'm probably more comfortable with myself now, probably not leading with my libido quite as strongly, which comes with age and happiness.

Read: Michael Douglas has decided to hang up his cock in one cupboard. Hallelujah, it's only taken him 65 years.

So girls there is hope for fidelity in relationships if you are willing to put out an immeasurable amount of times.

Even the most addicted sex addict such as Michael Douglas simply gives up when they are worn out.

Thought so.

Cringing Over At Greer's

Blo-Jo Greer McDonald is taking the bold step of not blogging weight loss (some boring tart already has the Fairfax monopoly on that), but something far more personal (and necessary for her) - financial problems.

The comments are utterly fabulous if you want something to read over Easter.

A third of them are sanctimonious twaddle from people (most I assume benefit from welfare for families to balance their budget or have bought rental properties claiming tax deductions they will no longer have) chastising her from their pulpits, a third of them are just downright abusive and a third of them are from losers in finance loving reading about someone worse off than they are.

Personally I think Greer only knows a budget as being a bird with a typo. She's planned a budget yet still wants to spend 42% of it on living costs - defined as "Eating out, holidays, entertainment, clothing, groceries". Yep, looking at her Facebook I can see the issue. She's addicted to going out and being seen, which is cool if you had an expense account to match. She's at Fairfax so clearly doesn't.




Greer is I think in her mid-20's and has a net worth of around -$52,000, including $42,000 odd in student loans. Which would not be an issue in the slightest at her age only she's working as a trainee repeater and we know how they are paid, especially at the tin shed called Fairfax. In shrapnel. We won't rip her to shreds however as I am feeling charitable in so far that she seems a nice young thing.

She's being slightly dramatic with the situation as thanks to a ridiculous interest free student loan policy, she's not paying any interest at all on the $42k. And when she does pay it back "Smile and Wave" gives her 10% credit on her repayments, wish the banks would do that for real loans.

In my twenties I used to look at the supermarket at the per gram cost of everything that they have in fine print on the shelves. I have a credit card that I pay off every month, never since the age of 24 when I have had it missing a payment. So I know what extreme fiscal caution actually is and it is fucking boring however necessary.

I gave up budgeting when I realised that there is only one solution that is any good - to make so much money that you don't have to worry about looking at to being with, the price tags at supermarkets right up to larger ticket items.

Any thoughts of poverty and debt disappeared the second I was on the plane and ticked the "not returning" tax return box.

My first bonus cheque overseas within a year of leaving, paid off my entire student loan and would have made a large dent in even Greer's mountain.

And in order that is my advice for students

1. Only do degrees that will earn you a comparative return for your investment. Otherwise you have no right to complain about student debt.
2. Work in New Zealand to get experience.
3. Don't worry about saving a thing. Enjoy yourself. Graduate pay in New Zealand is terrible even for lawyers.
4. The moment you can however, jump on a plane overseas for first world wages.
5. Don't come back until you either a) have enough money, or b) have to because Mummy or Daddy are dying.

It takes a hell of a lot of stress away from living.

In Greer's case she is young enough to learn from her mistakes and move from being a trainee repeater to aspiring to work for Matthew Hooton in PR and crisis management. In the meantime she needs to stop going out and picking up the tab for her loser mates.

I suggest her next blog is "Training for Round the Bays" in which she devises the excuse of training for not going out and spending a fortune. A friend of mine successfully did this in similar circumstances. It was the only thing that kept him on the straight and narrow.

The One About Swingers...

Right, time to confront this little gem that I know will ignite from the dead, Bryan Spondre's lust for blogging and commentary

I am living presently with no fixed abode in various hotels. Now it's not everyone's sort of lifestyle, but I think that is only because either they have a 5 bedroom waterfront mansion, or have not lived in hotels. Living in hotels, especially very nice ones, kicks serious arse.

Alas I now understand the beauty of Winston Raymond Peters being of "no fixed abode". You pay just once for things, all inclusive, no shitty power, gas or cable bills (well WRP gets his girlfriend or the taxpayer perks for ex-MP's to pay so none is an issue). No stuffing around with cable contracts and cleaning. Go to work, come home and the once trashed room is all clean. Magic. Get the munchies at 3am and one call, half an hour later and room service arrives. The drycleaning gets done in a day and is returned directly to the cupboard.

One highlight of the current "no fixed abode" is a very nice swimming pool, gym and jacuzzi complex. I frequently use the jacuzzi. It is shared with other long-term guests and shorter term stays, many whom are just passing through HK.

The jacuzzi could at a squeeze fit 30 people in it comfortably but usually when I visit later at night the only company tends to be couples having a holiday grope. In all instances you can happily sit well away from them at the other end of the pool.

Tonight was no exception and I met a couple from Texas called Cindy and Bob. I kid you not, no stereotype required, I am using their actual names. Cindy and Bob were like most Texans, very loud and opinionated and before long had asked the usual, "where are you from", "what are you doing in Hong Kong" and the standard "is the smog always this bad". Neither had dropped from the fugly tree and seemed to be a nice, asthetically and intellectually well suited couple.

Not being born yesterday I soon worked out Cindy and Bob were very friendly in a way that perhaps it is not best to be stuck in a jacuzzi with them friendly. Bob was seated in the jacuzzi in a position that meant I could not easily get out around him. To my horror Cindy was seated near the other exit in precisely the same fashion.

When it comes to the whole swinging shit I am sorry but any sense of liberalness leaves me. The idea that one can actually consent to their partner having sex with another person, sometimes while they watch or participate does not compute with the algorithms that are calculated daily in the central processing unit of my brain. It's another thing completely that they have no idea about the infidelity, but I am unsure how the central processing unit works in people who consent to it.

Before too long Cindy was none too suggesting I might like to come back to their room for a drink. Answered with a very polite but assertive "no sorry I have my own room". Most couples at that point would have got the picture and FRO (f**k right off). Not our Cindy and Bob.

Cindy then in an aggressive manner turned the issue on me and constructed an argument that I had the problem for not wanting to participate in lord knows what they had planned in the room for me. They had only wanted to "play" was one argument. Now swingers in my view have ruined the word "play". It is a turn-off to hear it. Another argument was that I wasn't "liberal" enough and sex was only "casual" so there were no emotions and strings attached. No shit Sherlock I'm not liberal about these things. Next was that when I was "older" I would understand why it was so much fun to have experimental sexual relations with more than one other person, one being of the same sex. Fabulous. I can't wait to get "older". Read "bored shitless with our relationship and need the drama of a third or fourth person to get our kicks".

I was taken back in time to an old boyfriend of mine who was into "open relationships" with his then girlfriend. When confronted by her that I might be interested in her boyfriend, I told her it shouldn't bother her as she loans him out for free all the time. Apparently from that point on the rules were set that he could see anyone he liked than me. So he kept doing it anyway. And that's the bit I do not get.

What sort of stupid woman consents to their man to do this? He's a bloke. I have a fair idea how blokes think and consenting to swinging is like taking an alcoholic to a brewery and locking him in overnight without sanction. You expect him not to have a drink or twenty? The "stiff, silly dick" switch cannot just be turned on and off so he keeps it in the pants when you want him to.

"Swinging" I believe is an almost purely male concept wrapped up in PR of sophistication, broad-mindedness, independence and fun (playing). Analytically I cannot see how for a woman there is a positive outcome. Well unless you are a hooker getting paid to participate, or like pussy. Another hurdle I could not bring myself to overcome in the algorithm. I think I would burst out laughing at the sight of such.

So I turned the argument on Cindy and said to her that tomorrow night I would like to take Bob out for a drink and if it went well I would be taking him back to my room to have sexual relations. Based on her argument if she was a true liberal and swinging is indeed based on casual sexual relationships, then there is no issue.

Bob seemed keen as English mustard, Cindy went off like a rocket and moved closer to Bob looking like she was going to rip his head from his neck and throw it at me when she was done.

Mission accomplished and I made haste out the entrance that Cindy was previously blocking.

Proving my point that it is far easier just to borrow Bob's and return them than deal with the Cindy's of the world in these weird relationships of twisted and conflicting ties with all arrows in the algorithm leading to "LARGE FAIL".