ACT on Campus Party

All week I stayed at the lovely "1801" at the Bolton Hotel in Wellington. I will post more about this suite later when I get over crying having to leave it. If you were an MP and your Parliamentary allowance could cover it, I see no reason at all to leave either it or Wellington for that matter.

Last night I hosted at various times between 30 and 40 "younger" ACT members in it for some drinks.

Contrary to public opinion this is the first party I have ever thrown. I see no point in messing your own place when you can take everyone out to a bar, trash their joint and pick up the tab and leave when you wish. All these things you cannot do when it is your home.

I've never consumed beer before in more than a quarter can and I know stuff all about wine. I know even less about spirits other than vodka. As Nikki "one can" Kaye was in Auckland for the week, I had to turn to David Farrar for advice.

Now the irony is that David Farrar advised me on what to buy for the young people and he won a "host responsibility" Drink Savvy party. As Busted Blonde and I sat listening to Commie Radio The Panel, Farrar was spouting to Jim Mora about winning this bloody prize. It was driving us both to drink more in between the spluttering and gasping for the hypocrisy necklace.

Next time Mora should question Farrar as to this particular night at 1801 and ask him why the food to alcohol ratio was around 1 pizza to 45 alcohol units. Food to me comes from the chef in the kitchen hence I had no bloody idea how much of it to buy at New World. It appears neither does Mr Drink Savvy winner.

Alcohol was ordered for Saturday night early in the week. By night one, "older" friends of mine had flattened most of the first lot of alcohol. By night two, the replacement was consumed. Glengarrys now had a standing order for delivering alcohol so hope they haven't counted me as a full time guest in their 2010/11 year profit estimations. I must say I've never noticed before how cheap beer and wine are or how quickly Glengarrys can have it right at your doorstep.

Hell you can fill most of a fridge with the price of a 6 pack of even a shit champagne like Moet.

So extrapolating the time and energy taken with the numbers of my week day drinking companions I refilled for the younger members Saturday night calculating if we started at 6pm we should be finished by 8.30pm latest.

That was a dramatic mis-calculation leading me to believe that indeed all my friends over 35 and myself drink a shitload of piss.

By 3am I had to round up the table of young girls and boys and boot them out. Being well behaved they left nothing for David Farrar to take home and promptly left with the small scraps of the third bottle of vodka. At 3.30am after a visitor from Hamilton and I had cleaned up the more visible damage, while Farrar watched, she finally assisted in removing him from the premises so I could get some shut-eye. Bless.

Needless to say I now hear rumours that the party itself seems to have singlehandedly ruined the Sunday meeting of ACT on Campus due to the amount of hangovers and sleep-ins around town.

Harden up.

Dim Post on Black Swans

Dim Post on Black Swans



Dim Post has beaten me to it and has put his own interpretation on this "Black Swan" thingy that Heather "Sitiveni" Roy has brought to our subconscious.

Fooled by randomness.

Indeed.

I ask what did Taleb mean when he offers 10 principles for building resilience to black swan events? Sitiveni's favourite is

“People who were driving a school bus blindfolded (and crashed it) should never be given a new bus”.

So what does one do with an overly ambitious person who hi-jacks the school bus with a mad older friend and heads it towards a cliff when failing to check how much fuel is left in the tank?

Black swan?
Denny Crane.

John Armstrong was seated directly behind me during Sitiveni's epic. Based on his flinching and throat clearing, I look forward to his interpretation of Roy's jackrabbit analogy in the coming week.

McBlack Caps

Finally the Black Caps pull out a winner!

On Friday night I skipped the ACT dinner to attend as a guest of NZ Cricket in the nice seats. The seats were fabulous, the "Stadium" flor the first time experienced and given a large tick of awesomeness as a venue, the food and drink top-notch but the Cricket rather gross.

Tonight all is forgiven

Great game, even better result. Tim Southee also awesome.

Fun With Blue Chip

Mark Bryers is clearly a bald faced liar.



This interview with a lawyer acting for liquidators

Grove: "Who are the trustees of the Sebastian Trust?"

Bryers: "Can't recall offhand."

Grove: "Are you a beneficiary of the trust?"

Bryers: "I can't recall that either."

Grove: "If we want to write to the Sebastian Trust, who do we write to?"

Bryers: "Well, I am happy to act as an authorised agent to receive information and receive any questions."

Right. So you know there is a trust, you don't know the trustees or that you are a beneficiary. But somehow you suddenly have enough status in the trust structure to give yourself authority to act as an authorised agent? Who on earth is going to authorise you?

I wouldn't call it a "secret" trust. Secret trusts stay that way.

Little wonder he's in stook. Next profession - Kiwisaver Fund Manager incoming!!

BJ A "Sex Pest"

So let us get this right....

Statements record Kurariki exposed himself to the women, masturbated in front of them and groped them before they could escape the house.

Herald on Sunday send two women around to BJ Kurariki's house, they interview him asking their usual quality of questions just for Sunday and the young thug starts playing with himself in front of them.

The Herald on Sunday is reviewing its procedures to ensure staff are not placed in unduly dangerous situations.

You reckon? I would say sending two young women round to interview a convicted thug in his own home is perhaps - ergh - grounds for a nice trip from their friendly Union advocate.

While the two female repeaters were just doing their job and did not deserve such filthy treatment, can I suggest next time they decide to interview BJ that a certain gossip "columnist" is dispatched for the task as HOS Chief Repeater currently.

Or ignore the little shit and wait until we can get the little impossible to reform bastard on Garrett's three strikes law

Head Still Shaking

When I have time I will blog more on by far the two most bizarre speeches in the history of ACTkind. To be honest I am still recovering, and not in an "I hosted a party to 3am sort of way".

First Muriel Newman - who strode up and did the utterly impossible - made the previous speaker Alan Gibbs look positively moderate, caring and electable. Just for Tau Henare I shall obtain a copy of her speech as it doesn't seem to be online yet. She reminded us with her from speech notes and inability to answer questions from the floor why there was an advantage to losing all those MP's once upon a time.

Next Heather Roy who introduced us to Black Swans and more utterly irrelevant parables of her past year read solidly from notes at a lectern. What on earth was she saying or warning?

A ‘Black Swan’ is the occurrence of high-impact, hard-to-predict and rare events beyond normal expectations
A ‘Black Swan’ is the occurrence of high-impact, hard-to-predict and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations. Despite our hard work and successes, we have already seen the black swans overhead. We will see them again before the next election.

And the grumpy old gentleman over 50 in the Party wonder why women and younger people are not voting or joining ACT in droves?

A straw poll of attendees, most between the ages of 20 and 30 at the 3am finished function suggested no one in the room knew what the fuck both these women were gabbling on about, let alone suggested the way forward for the Party was the return to more Newmanisms.

Could Not Stand The Heat-ley

What a friggin wowser is this Phil Heatley.



First, blubbing like a baby in front of repeaters on the news the other night. Next, resigning his portfolio.

Today I ask him to go one further and resign as an MP.

His career is now a waste of space. Unlike Pinkos, on the right we expect our MP's to be a little harder than this.

Not for Heatley's original crimes, but for the blubbing woosie limpdick behaviour since. That behaviour has let down his Party, his staff and his family.

The resignation was over Mr Heatley signing an expense claim for a dinner when in fact the $70 charge was for bottles of wine at a National Party function. It followed other revelations of misspending this week.

For heavens sake, there's a few reasons why Phil Heatley should no longer even be an MP.

- Buying on credit card a cheap arse holiday for the family.
- Using a credit card at Burger King, I mean how many people actually know you can use a bloody credit card at Burger King?
- Everyone I spoke to defends him as a "nice guy". Which in politics means "innocuous and ineffective so no one hates him".
- Buying cheap wine ($70 for two bottles). Pathetic.
- Leaving "Smile and Wave" Key facing allegations there's more to this than just a blubbing religious holier than thou twit would couldn't handle the heat in the kitchen.
- Blubbing on television about sums that he could reach into his wallet and pay cash for.
- He's not in the Maori Party so has no excuses
- He never even looked close to selling off the Nation's State Housing stock

NZ - The Un(der)-Regulated Offshore Centre

"Smile and Wave" Key seems to have opened the front door for back office fund administration. Not gold plated sexy fund management as such, but accounting and number crunching most of which would be perfectly suited for Philippines and Indian outsourcing.

Tell me where right now would NZ even have 3-4,000 people with funds experience but not enough experience to be too expensive? I smell an excellent opportunity really for foreign labour, under 30 working holidays for young, keen trainable professionals incoming. There are not 3-4,000 people sitting on the dole with appropriate skills. Like Ireland, NZ would have to import labour and at the head of the queue would be financially and computer literate and very cheap Philippines and Indians. New Zealanders heading to Ireland were considered such a cheap source of labour. NZ's would have to be even cheaper.

The natural extension of changing a few laws to make this attractive to the offshore clientele is to tinker with a bit more and make NZ a fully fledged offshore centre.

Bernard Hickey's already ignored the journalistic euphoria for "Smile and Wave" and astutely pointed out the boom for tax lawyers and accountants in the Funds administration plan which no doubt will allow for tax loopholes for wider planning. He's disgusted with the thought. I like it when Bernard is disgusted as it is a truly awesome sight as whether you agree with him or not, he usually makes an actual good point.

But how far are we already there? And how does NZ regulation compare with a true offshore centre/"tax haven"?

Let me illustrate with the Cook Islands and the current NZ company, Limited Partnership and trust regime. I like the compare and contrast as New Zealanders have traditionally viewed the Cooks in "Winebox" terms and as a "sunny place for shady activity". But how does NZ stack up on the legal and regulatory front?

COOK ISLANDS

Corporate directors allowed
Corporate shareholders allowed
Advantage of company registered as an international company and having no tax in Cooks if no business there
Companies are registered and all pay an annual government fee

Trustees are all licensed
Trust law has advanced asset protection features for creditor protection, estate and matrimonial issues
Favoured jurisdiction of Americans acting through specialised US tax attorneys declaring their grantor trust to the IRS legitimately so not for tax avoidance reasons, but asset protection
Trustees based and licensed in Cooks
Settlor and beneficiaries cannot be Cook Islanders
Trusts not taxed in Cooks
Trusts are all registered and pay an annual fee
Legislation tested and reputation enhanced by courts upholding asset protection attacks from US courts

All trust companies and registered agents are licensed
"Fit and proper" tests applied to principals of the trustee companies
History of revocation of licenses for non-compliance
Annual FIU inspection
Annual FSC physical inspection of files and due diligence
Banking fully licensed
Rigorous FATF inspections since removal of blacklisting
Educated population of professionals many traditionally coming from NZ tertiary training
NZ politicians seem to be over there all the time for "holidays" or business

NEW ZEALAND

Easy online incorporation
Corporate directors not allowed
Any individual worldwide can be director of as many companies as they like including nominees
Corporate shareholders allowed
Promoted as no tax in NZ if no business there*
Favoured jurisdiction of Russians and Eastern Europeans on guise of double tax treaty use and NZ OECD status.
In blunt reality many don't declare the income in NZ or their home country.
Increasing amount of Russian professionals setting up professional business in NZ for this purpose.
Followed closely by Chinese.
Both groups of people renowned for not providing due diligence when asked and using nominees

Limited Partnership regime
Allows "look through" where tax paid on receipt of income in the hands of the recipient therefore NZ tax may not be payable if recipient partner is non-resident and income foreign sourced.

Approved issuer levy where non-residents pay 2% levy on interest earned compared with NZ residents who pay a rate of around 10 to 18 times than that in RWT. Contributes to "Japanese Housewife" inflows that allegedly distort the exchange rate

Trustees are not licensed but accountants and lawyers qualify as agents
Trust law does not yet have advanced asset protection features
NZ Foreign Trust regime used (as opposed to the less advantageous NZ Qualifying Trust for NZ tax residents)
Trustees based in NZ
Must submit to IRD just the basics of the name of trust, NZ agent and whether it has an Australian settlor
No annual fee collected by IRD
Settlor and beneficiaries cannot be New Zealand tax resident
I have seen more dubious practitioners selling these trusts however to NZ tax resident people either using a declaration of trust or simply a nominee from outside NZ
Trusts not taxed in NZ, only on NZ based assets.
Double tax treaties and agreements used in order to advantage clients. Plenty of clients however do not declare the trust in their home jurisdiction.

No licensing regime for trustees or registered agent/office/company secretarial function
No annual FIU or similar inspection
No annual FSC or similar inspection of all files and due diligence (passport, address proof, KYC docs) and enhanced due diligence
Companies Office oversees company registration
Outed recently when NZ companies used in Arms deals in North Korea
Banking fully licensed yet limited effective anti-money laundering legislation and mandatory reporting in the industry

Offshore Finance Company regime is currently un(der)regulated and allows quasi-banks to be set up using NZ legislation. Used again by Russians white labelling bank accounts through the NZ licensed banks such as ANZ and National Bank. Truly the dodgiest New Zealand legislated "finance company" of the lot, these beasts.
Outed recently on Fair Go of all places.

FATF inspections but NZ granted OECD status so always gets off easy

*promoters confuse/lie about NZ companies being tax free. NZ companies are taxed on their worldwide income. There is a special purpose company regime where NZ companies are set up solely to act as trustee then they are tax free but that doesn't generally apply.

So of the two countries, NZ and the Cook Islands I ask you which currently has a better regulated regime? Which should have more credibility as a financial centre?

NZ's lax regulation and stodgy, sporadic approach to legislative reform in my view makes it the perfect offshore centre. Perfect for the crims. Against any jurisdiction I've been involved with and dealt with regulators directly, NZ measures up badly at present.

I consider the Cook Islands in the year 2010 to be one of if not the MOST heavily regulated jurisdiction in the offshore world. It has the most active regulators and highest practice standards in terms of review of due diligence KYC information of any jurisdiction I have come across.

So much so it's at the Jersey/Guernsey point of strangling itself in red tape but it has had to since blacklisting and then removal from the blacklist.

FIGJAM Power and "Smile and Wave" have a hell of a long way to go before administration of funds can even be looked at. FIGJAM has to either sort out regulation in NZ's own current industry to a standard even close to the Cooks, or give up completely, suggest tinkering with the legislation and let's make NZ a true offshore centre and clip the ticket properly in terms of annual fees and employment opportunities that are more imaginative than being a backoffice 'hub" for Funds.

Of course residents paying 38 cents in the dollar may not appreciate this so I'm thinking as a natural progression of tax competition, these proposed changes must bring down the tax rates to make NZ closer to a true "tax haven".

So tell me, how fair is it on NZ tax residents to be paying even 30 cents top tax rate when the rest of the world is currently going hammer and tongs in using NZ as a legitimate place in which to avoid paying taxes altogether? And Parliament's intent has been clearly to introduce and allow this to happen?

Because at present NZ is shaping up as a great financial centre just one NOT to be tax resident of.

"Tax Reality" for Mangrove Nash

New Zealanders are not getting a fair deal when it comes to paying tax when NZ legislation is currently being used to legitimately avoid or minimalise paying taxes all round the world.

Legislation I must add, ironically and rather sweetly Helen Clark's successive Labour governments have had a major hand in introducing.

Voda-blown

So I am at Auckland Airport this morning about to head off to parts unknown where for sanity and entertainment I shall need an internet connection. Spotting the Vodafone shop I go over and pick up one of those nice Vodems (that have been out of stock a week).

Lovely, nice. Ergh....how do they run on Apples?

Well the bloke at the counter this morning at 7.08am is not going to be salesperson of the year as in the space of a minute he successfully talked me OUT of buying a Vodem as I as about to hand over the credit card. Hard to install he said, have to run this and that bla....bla tech speak.

I applauded his honesty and moved on. Having had a bad experience with a Vodem on the Apple (ie. it didn't work even after Whaleoil Technical Consulting Limited had a tinker), I thought he may have a point, if not, it wasn't worth the bother.

So I stopped at the local Telecom shop and picked up a t-stick. Nice lady told me all about it, how to top up and even install.

Got home, plugged it in and whizz bang... simple off we go. Lucky I did that OS/X upgrade last weekend however, 10.4.11 wouldn't have cut the mustard on this one either.

Column of the Year

Ban Women from Driving 4 x 4's

It will have to be column of the year as after this Mr Eric Thompson won't be writing another one!

All his points are fabulous of course. I don't see the reason that women have 4 x 4 offroaders anyway. They are blokes toys.

Like any toy, unless you are using them for that specific purpose (ie. offroading) owning one is entirely naff and should be frowned upon. An exception was when I lived on an Island and needed an offroader as the roads were literally all "off".

I especially detest the Porsche and BMW models. I mean wtf is with that? These are luxury car models (well BMW M series which is the only one worth owning) that are meant for two persons not a family. And how many offroaders are stacked with children anyway, it is usually one child in the car picked up from Kings by Mummy. Daddy bought the vehicle as a) he thinks it is safer and b) it prevents mummy from being too yummy and picked up during the day by younger men.

I would qualify Thompson's column by saying ban women from driving 4 x 4's......unless they bought them with their own cash (exclusive of matrimonial settlement or inheritance).

For some reason women who actually earn their cars tend to be far better drivers and appreciate the car more.

Bombs Away on Super-Regulator

Here's my 2009 bugbear coming back for completion.

FIGJAM Power may live up to his nickname "F*** I'm Good Just Ask Me."....if he can pull this off properly.



One of the major steps it says it is now considering is the merging of different regulatory functions of the NZ stock exchange, Companies Office and the Securities Commission to form a single market regulator.

He's murmuring about a super-regulator function for the NZX, Sec Comm and Companies Office. It is telling however that the NZH picked this picture for their story:

I wonder if FIGJAM has consulted Mr "Smile and Wave" about taking the regulatory function off Speedo?

A super-regulator would require a large amount of funding and a "sweep floor" style of management. A new Boss who spends more time in NZ than on a plane.

With regards the funding, if NZX's regulatory arm goes into the super-regulator so should a large dollop of their retained earnings generated from the past regulatory function.

In passing, this recommendation is silly

• Introducing 'plain English' into investment statements and prospectuses, with warnings on risky or complex products.

There's no such thing as "plain English" when it comes to statements and prospectuses, they are MEANT to be complex documents with legal implications. Currently they already are in plain English, as re-writes to all Statutes are. People still can't understand them and do not get proper advice when investing their money.

That will never change, only a strong approach of "too bad" when a fool and his or her money are parted.

Tau Apologises

Between You and Tau Henare

Tau Henare February 15 at 8:10am Report

Hi (Kate), just a note to apologise for my rant, I see that I (according to whale) broke the cardinal sin, replying to an email, anyway, tme to move on and again apologies. At least I didnt call you a white so and so. Which I would never do to anyone anyway. Cheers.

Of course I accept Tau's (sort of) apology and have acted that way in any instance not returning emails from Sunday tabloid journalists.

I have published it because it follows on from the previous post so would be unfair to him not to publish to show his response.

I respect him less with this (sort of) apology however. When you compile a rant you should at least believe in what you are saying and follow it through.

Time For the RED Card

I have blogged previously about Cheryl Cole. She's unfortunately very good looking, successful in her own right but has a drop kick of a husband in Ashley.

Ashley is now sending dirty pics and asking for them back from girls he's shagged. He's in the John Terry category of dicksmack.

Cheryl says her marriage is worth saving. Again.

We of course beg to differ and sadly once again state that having a body like this, does not guarantee you to be attracted to quality men.

It makes you wonder that if Cheryl was a little less fabulous looking whether better looking and behaving men may ask her out. She's got enough money of her own so it's not a function of that.

I've often wondered about exceedingly beautiful looking women, if that is the case.

Can a woman actually be too hot for her own good?

WINZ Rips Off Clients?

Little wonder lefties get muddled up.

No Right Turn comes up with a belter here.

Apparently WINZ is ripping off its clients.

Clients where I come from are always the people paying.

How can a beneficiary ever be a client at WINZ? They are not net taxpayers.

Is WINZ really ripping off the taxpayer here? If so I would like to hear more. That would be appalling.

Can't Get Used To

New Zealanders and their obsession about talking about the weather.



Guess what?

You CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Move ON with your lives. If you can't talk about something else then shut the f*** up. Talking incessantly about the weather makes you look like a boring halfwit. No other country obsesses about the weather as much as New Zealand and New Zealanders.

Pack a coat or get wet in the rain and go home and have a shower. Weather just happens. Get the hell over it. Don't let it change your plans. It rains, you get wet. Who cares?

The second I got on the Air New Zealand flight back all I heard was the weather this, the weather that.

Valentines Day

Right here goes my Valentines Day/Weekend:

Friday the brand new Blackberry Bold II cranks out with an error "JUM517". Completely dead. Try everything to resuscitate
Whaleoil research tells me I need to reinstall the device software and desktop
Vodafone hopeless so go get pissed to commiserate
My IT work guy is away, Chinese New Year

Saturday I get online to download
I was running OS X 10.4.11 on my Macbook Pro. I am planning to update the whole computer at the next model upgrade
Blackberry software only runs now on a OS X 10.55 or above
Go to lunch and find shop in Queen Street Bond and Bond
Helpful geek tells me I can't get 10.55, I have to get "Leopard"
Leopard update doesn't work as system too old
Have tanty and go to Vodafone to try and get a pre-pay USB stick
USB sticks ALL sold out and are now on back-order. Vodafone fail.

Sunday I go to Magnum Mac at 10.30am and they give me secondary advice and sell me the MacBox set, $350 lighter
Go back to hotel install
Run out of 100MB of data for $29.95, now on slow rate for next 900MB
Issue on install as disc keeps restarting and ejecting itself
On fifth go, simply hold hand over the disc drive so it could not exit. Success.
Install takes 1 and 1.2 hrs
Successful but have to download Desktop from Blackberry site
This takes another hour as the hotel has such s.l.o.w. internet.
Plug in still dead Blackberry
Data not all compatible
Swearing
Do not accept the device itself doesn't have the information, find "restore" function

Find files deep in computer
Restore

Goes back to the last back-up from IT geek which was December.
Calendar function slightly munted
Contacts however remain reasonably intact. Thank the Lord.

Morals of story:

New Blackberry's suck. Phones just a month old should NOT throw out this sort of error.
Throw your computer away before the operating system becomes out of date.
New Zealand internet charging sucks and it is as slow as the stone ages. Even The Mandarin Hotel in Hong Kong charges all you can eat per day.
The computer and phone will always break down when on business and never in Hong Kong, the 24/7 capital of the world for getting geeks to fix shit every hour of the day.
Working on your computer like this does teach you a hell of a lot about it.
But I have absolutely no fucking interest in computers other than having the thing go!

Good news:

I did get a small delivery on V'day - thank you mystery man.

MP Facebook Dork Of The Week

"Brovver" boy Tau Henare's got his Westie moobs in a tangle. Apparently I am the second coming of the KKK and "hiding" behind my blog when he's lacked the comprehension sophistication to differentiate my argument that no MP deserves respect, and it is nothing to do with race.

I guess I am hiding but only in the same way Tau hides behind his list seat. We know there's someone who is meant to be there, we are paying to look at the space but just can't see him that often so assume he is hiding. In any case being called "Cactus Kate" is far cooler than "Tau Henare".

Worse for Tau was that I didn't really try to specifically upset him leading him to scream "KKK", so let me have another go.

Many posts ago I argued Tau wasn't a rolemodel and should achieve quitting smoking before he bragged about it and Busted Blonde congratulated him. So now he is having a delayed blub that he's all offended at my whole blog because I'm not just a standard sort of Hone Harawira "white motherfucker", but the first and only member of the NZ branch of the bloody KKK. Awesome. If I'm to wear sheets then let them please be Frette.



This from a man who along with Hone Harawira is the most offensive MP in Parliament.

At least Hone doesn't sook and blub on like a teenage girl who has just been dumped by her first boyfriend on the day of her first period. Nicotine withdrawal may be setting in causing this blubbing.

Tau just needs to harden up and stop being a large, floating, smoking wahine.

Tau was once a member of NZ First, such a lurvely friendly to Asians and Immigration Party wasn't it? And then a member of a break-away movement contesting again seats based on race. Now he's pretending to be a National Party member; where does he stand on tax cuts? Has he even read the TWG Report? GST being raised? Maori seats? Welfare? No, Tau will show his true colours shortly as not someone who will happily "smile and wave" along with the Party.

Forgive me for laughing at being called a KKK level racist by a man who has only profited for not being anything fabulous but for actually being Maori, and a Henare at that. If Henare was from an underprivileged white "motherfucker" family I would bet he'd still be in a State House pulling average wage. He's got no idea what violent racism actually is, and he hasn't experienced it himself or he wouldn't be banding about the KKK in jest.

On receiving from the most unlikely sources, a copy of the barely legible nonsense he had scrawled on Facebook, I wrote to Tau to kindly introduce myself and explain that I don't respect him solely because he's stupid and that he keeps proving me right. The purpose being so he was in no doubt as to why I think he's a waste of good space in Wellington that could be used for more meaningful activities like storing Nikki Kaye's Auckland Central social wardrobe, Simon Bridges' new dog's kitty litter or Max Key's empty pizza boxes.

Here is the email:

From: "Cactus Kate"
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:46:01
To: Tau.Henare@parliament.govt.nz
Subject: Facebook

Tau

You clearly are too stupid to a) spell Kate properly or b) operate google searches on a computer. It's no secret who I am. Recently even the Sunday Star Times printed my name.

If you want to be online you have to stay current. I posted on you moons ago and your loud, grandstanding attempt at quitting smoking.

I do not respect you because you are an idiot. It has absolutely nothing to do with your race. If you were the same race as I am and stupid I would be even harder on you. So count yourself lucky. Have a look at the post on the failed ACT coup to see how I treated ACT MP's. Today again you have proven me to be correct.

You are an idiot who would struggle outside of politics to earn the slightest shave of money or status you have as a preferred politician in the National Party hopping from your other incarnations of fiscal convenience.

Tau still didn't get it and responded with this email suggesting that I become the ultimate woman (women?) - stop work, find a loser like him and procreate. I wonder what all his female colleagues and young female professional members in the National Party think of that? And does he think that of them? And should I be working or standing for Parliament? The two must be exclusive according to Planet Tau. Tau obviously wants women home cooking his f***ing eggs.

The rest of the email was more on point spitting and screaming "racist", "vile" and "venal". His descriptive of "bludge off the Asians for a living" is a little confused, but an interesting look into his mindset for if I as a New Zealander am bludging off "the Asians" in my migrating there, what does he consider Asians who move to New Zealand to work to be doing? You can take the boy out of NZ First can't you?......"At least I choose to live in my country" firmly denotes more xenophobia caught only by too much exposure to Winston Peters in his youth.

There's probably no point arguing why Tau's in New Zealand, not much use for a preferential racially based Maori MP in Asia who has only worked in the public sector and has a downer about "the Asians". He has to be in New Zealand, no other country would actually let him move there with his lack of skills to be considered for any highly skilled migrant visa.

Subject: Re: Facebook
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:55:11 +1300
From: Tau.Henare@parliament.govt.nz
To: cactus.kate@hotmail.com

What a venal and vile women you are. You should stop work, find a man, and have a family. Maybe that might chill you out. At least I choose to live in my country and try to help, rather than slink off overseas and bludge off the Asians for a living. Come home, stand for election and do what you accuse others of not doing. You are a biggott and a racist. Its actually not what you say but the intent of your vile words.

Tau

And then he sent me a Facebook friend request? You are joking? Being called a bigot from a man who cannot even spell the word correctly. Anne Tolley may have to introduce these Standards into her own Party first, no wonder she's so busy.

I am not in the least bit offended by Tau's Facebook Ma-nglish or sexist attitudes towards young professional women working. I especially don't care if one of the two most offensive MP's in the country is offended by me and calls me a racist as it is a sign he has no actual argument to the points I have raised, that he is once again behaving like an idiot. It's all very amusing that he's blubbing like a sooky girl when he's built his own career (if you call it that) by being offensive and divisive, and let's not forget lazy. What has he achieved as an MP other than a pension plan for himself?

I don't pay 38 cents in the dollar for Tau Henare and his lifestyle as a list MP. Because of that I'm far more relaxed than ever at watching "Sideshow" Tau rolling on and on and on.

As for the KKK, having Tau and his testosterone charged big mouth/pee brain combo circulate among the general populous does his race more damage than the Klan could ever do with matches and a set of Goodyear's.

I should beef up security now that Tau has taken interest reading my blog and knowing more about me as he's a lot bigger than myself and chemically dislodged up there. What is he going to ask his Facebook Thugz for now that's not on google: my address (I live in random hotels and now have no fixed abode so good luck with that), my bank account, credit card numbers and panty make? Is he planning on calling my Mummy and asking her to tell me off? She's in the phone book but doesn't speak Ma-nglish so will have no idea what she's been asked.

Is Tau going to attack what I do for a day job? He damn well should. I assist people in minimalising tax so they don't have to fork out for the lifestyles of uneducated bludging baffoons like himself. A noble cause highlighted no better than when Tau is let loose on a computer. Dealing with overpaid, underemployed public servants like Tau only gives me more pride in job satisfaction and that the means justifies the ends in my occupation.

But Tau won't need to do any of the above as for those who have to tolerate him as a pet puppy in the National Party know my movements in the next few weeks.

He's more than welcome to come down after lunch and when my lunch dates and I have removed the white napkins from over our heads and put down our lighters, he can look me in my very large blue eyes and say whatever he wants to me. I will listen and try to interpret the street slang Ma-nglish through his shades, the swagger and the tight-five intimidation.

And then I will show him again in painful detail why precisely he's a big, stupid ,fucking idiot for engaging a member of the public, least of all a blogger when he doesn't have a purpose or end goal other than to be cool for his Facebook posse of thugz 'n relatives.

That cheeky Busted Blonde's probably engineered by now the whole thing and sold 100 tickets with proceeds going to Ngai Tahu's next piss-up.

Update: Raw Fish puts in her 10 cents worth and proves she's been reading those Labour speeches again.

Update II: Handmirror argue that despite what they think of me, that Tau's references to women in the workforce in the email, coming from an elected MP is a little er.. "odd".

Veuve Clicquot Loses Bubbles

Is this the best they could do? They turned down Lisa Lewis and her Facebook page "Lisa Lewis for Veuve Clicquot Businesswoman of the Year" of 710 supporters for this rag-tag lot?

Recall my nomination here: listing Lisa Lewis' attributes under the nomination categories:

- corporate and social responsibility
- entrepreneurial drive
- leadership skills and motivating and inspiring others

The Veuve Clicquot Businesswoman of the Year has been running three years now. During that time 15 women have been nominated. Last year's finalists were Annah Stretton, Jenny Morel, Mary Devine, Sarah Kennedy and Sarah Trotman.

This year's field is by far the weakest in New Zealand of the three years. I might be a cynic and suggest the organisers had a gasp when they realised the most fitting entry for their award was from a Hamilton hooker, and ran around pleading with any woman they know to be nominated to avoid Lisa even making the final five. But let us not be cynical and examine the field more closely.

The natural frontrunner is the glam fund manager Carmel Fisher.



Fisher, like most fund managers however she has had their business artificially inflated of late by Wfm (Welfare for Fund Managers aka Kiwisaver). Measuring her performance as a businesswoman compared to others even in the industry is difficult due to the various "as at" or "year ended" return calculations that funds in Kiwisaver are measured by (and some gumping of the books here and there it seems). Fisher according to her website has only around $600 million of assets under management and with some 30,000 clients this puts her well and truly in the small fry category on an international level. The average of just $20,000 per client. Again, nothing wrong with this, its just not staggering as of yet, who wishes to have clients with $20,000 of savings? It is very retail.

In terms of fitting the rampant self-promotion, profile and marketing for Veuve Clicquot I would tip her to win. There are few better saleswomen than Fisher around. She could sell a Hydrid car to a gang member and convince them not to wear their patch outside Wanganui.

Jenny Yule is owner of effectively a mobile nanny/corporate baby training company Porse (Play, Observe, Record, Support, Evaluate and Extend). Good grief. She wishes to franchise it all over the world. But hasn't done so yet despite starting the business back in 1986 with a Partner and then creating Porse in 1994. Probably the business won't be coming to Asia, where the best form of creche and childcare exists, maids.

Porse benefited from the "20 hours ECE" to 3 and 4 year olds from a Labour Government. So much so that Yule states "government funding allowed PORSE to subsidise and maintain affordability of home childcare to families". Payment of the nanny can be "partly or fully subsidised by WINZ, ACC and area health authorities".

Winning businesswoman of the year seems a tad presumptuous. For example when Julie Christie won the inaugural award she had already cashed out her business to foreigners and working on the international stage, granted benefiting from a stream of New Zealand on Air Funds encouraging famous mildly good looking people to act like idiots in reality TV shows. Employing nannys and part time babysitters effectively makes Yule's a semi-state sponsored recruitment company for home-help. A very female dominated industry selling to other females who make all the childcare decisions.

Cathy Quinn is a lawyer at Minter Ellison Rudd Watts. She is also on the Securities Commission and Capital Markets Development Taskforce. No offence to my legal colleagues but there's no way a Partner at a law firm can possibly be tagged a businesswoman, least one of the year. Lawyers sell time. That's all. They enable deals to be stitched together but businessperson? Entrepreneur? In terms of categories on the nomination form there is no way in short hell a lawyer practising solely as a lawyer should be nominate as a businesswoman. She may be a brilliant lawyer, maybe lawyer of the year, but we are not debating the merits of that. Lawyers in short cannot exhibit "entrepreneurial drive" as categorised in the nomination form. To do so lands us in a great shed load of trouble.

Rachel Taulelei is an international seafood supplier with a niche into high end American hotels and restaurants. No guessing how she got her break into that. Her natural advantage again has seen her cream off her minority status to find more minority status entering an award that can only be won by a woman. Getting her start and network as a Los Angeles-based trade commissioner with junket central, Trade and Enterprise New Zealand.

Having said that she's my favourite to win the award because she's international, does something quite hard and risky and serves up something awesome. Seafood. Question is though, is she large enough of her own making to carry New Zealand's representation to France? What is the business she has created and is it of substance than niche contacts for import/export? Not a lot has been written about her. She's very much a Sacha McMeeking - a mystery woman of Maoridom.

Taulelei appears a one woman machine, "leadership skills and motivating and inspiring others" on the nomination form appears deficient.

Elaine Gill is a provincial banker and works as Chair of the Board of TSB, owned by a community Trust. A former New Plymouth District Councillor for nine years, she specialises in giving money away to local institutions and running for example WOMAD. She doesn't actually own her own business but is merely an appointed servant. Again, nothing wrong with that but please....we are looking for a businesswoman of the year, a risk taking entrepreneur, not female employee or executive of the year who specialises in spending and taking risks with other people's money.

Gill personifies "corporate social responsibility" as defined by spending and risk taking with other people's money. She could be the best director or Chair of a Board in New Zealand but again, this is not the competition and thus she is an appalling choice as a finalist.

And for this they turned down a woman who is self-made, works in a highly competitive industry selling an almost socially unacceptable product exclusively taking money off male clientele?

Hmmm......

DHB Loves Labtests

The improvement in service from Labtests, which sparked a string of complaints immediately after taking over medical laboratory testing in the Auckland region last year, has been significant, Auckland District Health Board says.

Martin Johnson couldn't bring himself to write this one:

"We've seen a very high reduction in error rates in the delivery of the service, we've seen positions that were temporarily filled being filled on a permanent basis at levels of competence we are satisfied with."

Mr Snedden also said the appointment of New Zealand clinician Craig Marshall as Labtests chief executive had produced rapid results and improvements as he understood the anthropology of the delivery of the service.

"Smile And Wave" Does What He Knows Best

Smiles and Waves!!!



Hiking GST and cutting income taxes? Maybe. Maybe....Smile and Wave....MAYBE!!! Is that really the answer??? If so what again was the question?

Bernard Hickey has spat the dummy. His sole focus was the illusion of taxing the crap out of property to make it more affordable for gen x-y children who will inherit their greedy parent's homes when they tip off anyway.

In fairness I spat the dummy years ago when I left the country so well done Bernard. I didn't agree with what you were saying necessarily, but if tax needed changes, I can't see any here that are at all substantial.

We've still got welfare for families.

We've still got high taxes and excessive government spending.

We've now got yet another debate as to why GST shouldn't be hiked as it will effect low income earners. And the silliness of welfare to pay for the GST rise.

We've still got yet another government calling for a crackdown on beneficiaries. Hello, aren't you doing that already? And if GST increases they get more money? Why? Isn't that just more welfare.

Diddling with depreciation changes and returns on rental housing, there may be higher rents.

So I turn back to the Tax Working Group and again ask if you aren't going to rejig the entire system:

What was the bloody point?

Update: David Farrar has loyally rated it a "solid B".

I am not even going to rate the speech as it was just like sex without the orgasm. Not worth bothering about. Would rather keep watching the Cricket.

Missed This By A Week

Story of my life, missed this by a week in Singapore.

Not unpleasant is it?

Memo To Young Auckland Women

To: Women Under 30 in Auckland on a Friday Night
From: CK

I was out on Friday night and disgraced by the random level of drunkenness and debauchery from your demographic.

Unlike yourselves I had spent 42 hours of the past week in aircraft on business, the previous entire day travelling, arriving at 11am into the country then out to lunch by 1pm whereby I was drinking solidly for some 12 hours. This on top of a month where I had absolutely no drinking form having only ventured out to drink three of those days, two being New Years and the day after.

Despite crawling out of a man's apartment at around 3.30am whom I had never formally met before or his two friends, one female whom was essentially irritating and I wished to smack in the head after she insisted on interviewing me for a job vacancy that I clearly had no description for. But resisted that temptation due to good manners and self-control.

Not only did I managed to safely navigate several flights of difficult steps without assistance, but made a judgment call to get myself into a taxi for the two blocks rather than walk back to my hotel room across the pit that is Queen Street.

And I remember the entire evening. Unlike the three pieces of silliness at the bottom of the Whitcoulls building who had their knickers around their heads and were twisting their heels over the pavement and the many teenagers strewn everywhere, one whom I had to push out of the way to get to the cab as they asked me for $20 to get a cab home.

Collectively, sort your shit out.

Safer communities together.

Things That Make You Go....Hmmm

Squeamish moments

Sometimes in life you have squeamish moments where you aren't quite sure what you did was good or bad. Plenty of late nights I have had such moments.

Getting an endorsement from Olly Newland is another such time.

Having said that I am a firm believer in the best piece of advice I have ever read being from one of is books "always take a profit when offered".

And I do.

Ali Mau

Dear...dear...dear....deary me.



As men today are reeling in the news that Ali does chicks.

All I can say is that I am incredibly supportive of her coming out and encourage ALL chicks this hot to turn away from men.

Leaves more men for the rest of us.

Crouching Tigers Blind Eyes

A disturbing trend is appearing in the strategy of divorce and separation in the female gender.

Three recent examples spring to mind that re-shape the way women are dealing with wandering husbands. First that of Elin Woods, Tiger's butter wouldn't melt in her sweet little blonde head, wife. Let's be realistic for a minute. You are married and your husband publicly humiliates you and your family by not just one but maybe dozens of women on the side all of whom are happy to come forward with stories of his exploits. Most whom are more exciting yet similar models to yourself. He's worth around a billion dollars and your cut will be at least several hundred million on a bad day. Hundreds of times more than you would ever have dreamed of if you had an average earning husband or career yourself in doing anything other than what women do each and every day -childminding.

And she's even considering returning to him? My God. She packed the children up on holiday and Tiger's gone to a sex addiction clinic. Allegedly she's now a participant in his cure sessions.

You cannot cure wandering eyes and itchy pants. You can restrain it by being with a man 24/7 but there is no cure. Men who behave this way don't have an illness or anything that can be cured with any clinic or drug other than chemical castration. They are merely opportunists, that's all. She was there, and I could so why not?

Second is Toni Terry. Wife of the England football captain. Likewise her husband has humiliated her, but unlike Woods, Terry is at a more advanced stage and has a heavily documented track record of it. Eyes were not wide shut, documented proof and admissions of affairs were all over the place. Not only now did Terry cheat with the missus of his teammate, but one of Toni's better friends. Added to that is the devastating humiliation of an abortion arranged by Terry for an unplanned pregnancy. And front page in tabloids for days. In terms of severity its a 10/10.

And her first response was not to clean out all his stuff and either burn it or throw it out on the lawn, but to fly to Dubai with her mummy and daddy and make him miss a football game to chase her over there to grovel once he makes it past daddy? How adult.

Both these women have made their moves purely on a combination of PR and legal advice. If they extricate themselves they can sit and wait for all the other women to come forward which ironically in acts of sisterhood, only strengthens their claim. In Tiger's case this has just added zeros to the cheque he's going to have to write if she leaves, or re-negotiation of the pre-nuptial so she stays.

Same as "father of the year" Terry's case although having got his wife's best friend pregnant I think that critical mass has been already met where he's going to be up the smurf financially either way. If Terry is England's father of the year, having procured an abortion for his mistress while coming home to his children from his marriage then it says more about the sad state of England parenting stock than it does about Terry's parenting skills. He's a parent when it suits him and the sponsors to be otherwise the unplanned,unborn kid gets the vacuum cleaner.

All this nonsense trotted out that they wish to save the marriage for "the sake of the children" is utter pipe. The children no doubt spend most of their time with their mother and nannys in any instance given the travel schedule of the father. Children with divorced parents manage. In fact usually a darn sight better than those who live in an environment of no love between parents in marriages of corporate sponsored convenience.

Both these men face the same issue. If they do go back to the marriage, they are terminally poked. Neither can say no to the legions of groupies. They both like going out and getting trolleyed with mates and strippers. It's a question of paying now or paying more later. Both the women face the same problem. The monogamy section of their marriage vows have just been crapped all over, fair enough for their faux or real disgust but here's the thing. In taking their men back after such a public humiliation they send a very clear signal that they will NEVER leave him. Which signals to the man he can still do anything he wants, he just has to be a hell of a lot more discreet about it. In other words don't get caught. In every other woman's mind who finds him attractive, having a wife forgive this sort of utter annihilation is a very powerful indication that the man's marriage is an utter lie in terms of being monogamous so she can by all rights get in there and have a relationship of that sort. Then sell that story for cash to a willing tabloid if in the UK or US and he's famous enough.

David Beckham is another case in point. Posh earns more power, money and status by staying with him. In return Beckham has just become smarter about his off field activities. I don't for one minute believe he's sitting in Milan of all places, on his own surrounded by plenty of the most utterly stunning women in the world, eating TV dinners and waking up alone at 7.30am to go off to training.

But in the words of Tony Chan's wife, who suffered the indignity of her husband with her knowledge having an affair with an incredibly wealthy cougar and now found inpossession of what has been alleged to be a criminally forged will, "She said she had simply enjoyed her husband's wealth and did not care where the money came from".

Mrs Terry, Woods and Beckham are no different. They don't care as long as the money comes in. And their behaviour is no better or more deserving than that of their rootbag husbands as they are enabling.

If these women want other women to respect their marital status, perhaps they should start respecting their own. Either you take your own marriage seriously and punish lack of monogamy by packing up immediately and walking out, or face a lifetime of it, close your eyes and shut your whinging traps.

In this day and age many marriages do not require such monogamy. Women have given up demanding it and let the man do as he pleases, worse engage in all sorts of "unconventional" sexual activity at their husband's request, which in my view is akin to letting an alcoholic open season on your wine cellar and serving up cheese and crackers. This being the case they have no moral high ground when other women have a go.

Crouching Tiger, Blind eyes. No sympathy.

Big Will, No Cents

Hong Kong's most fabulous and intriguing court case in years is finally over. For the first round at least.

In one camp was the estate of an eccentric dead widower who owned one of the largest property based companies in HK, Chinachem Nina Wang. She inherited it from her husband who mysteriously was kidnapped and disappeared. In other words - it wasn't really hers to start with.

The other side was ludicrously stupendous "feng shui master" Tony Chan. Who asked the court to believe a woman 20 years his senior left her billions to him and not the Foundation set up. Again none of it really his to start with.

At issue was a signature on a will that the courts have just ruled to be a forgery.

The married Chan, dipped his little twinkie in Nina for many years. The wife never questioning where the pots of cash came from or his relationship with the Cougar Nina.

The "fengshui master's" (there is hefty debate in HK's practising elite if he actually was qualified) wife, Madam Tam 46, also testified. She said she had simply enjoyed her husband's wealth and did not care where the money came from.

One of their 3 children is appropriately named "Wealthee".

Charming.

The crassness intertwined so romantically. A man bludging off a woman who in turn made business decisions not by educated logic and reason but feng-sui.

Chan explains everything wrong and stupid with people who immediately have access to unattainable levels of wealth. Wang if still alive would have matched that.

It was a game of two sides that neither deserved to win.

Chan should have cut a deal to run with the estate as any sensible human being would. Evidence suggested he already had around NZ364 mill from Nina in "fengshui advice" despite being a barman and machinery salesman previously. More money than anyone needs in a lifetime.

It was a very expensive hand of poker he played and lost. He now faces tax bill, a maximum 14 years in jail for forgery, at least eighteen months of legal fees and protection costs from no doubt many locals and with it gangs who wish to harm him and his family.

The HK public hate the guy. It is alleged he is abused and spat at my lower incomed Hong Kongers in the street and shunned as a lunatic by the middle classes.

It wraps up an untidy and embarrassing saga for one of Hong Kong's wealthiest and with it most powerful families. Imprisonment would cap off their regaining of face.

If I was the Judge I would have awarded the money (est US3-10 billion) back to the Hong Kong treasury and given us all a tax cut. Property rights become very unsexy when noone worked for the property to begin with and both sides seemed so equally undeserving of benefiting.

I can't wait for the book and the movie.

Tau Is No Rolemodel

Busted Blonde is on a crusade snuggling up now Tau Henare to her mountainous bosoms.

Apparently Tau is planning to give up smoking. I will believe it when I hear it has happened and he's stuck at it for life. But that's not the point. The point is that in Tau's self-serving "save Maori" crusade he says something that quite frankly is laughable and epitomises the difference between indigenous people and those who came a wee bit later more clued up in the area of respect and the mythical Maori concept called "mana" or as we call it more generically "fucking large ego". Tau's laughable comment was:

Tau thinks politicians are rolemodels.

Polys are role models whether we like it or not.

Not in white man's society Tau. With the few snout grovellers as exceptions most sophisticated, educated individuals look down on politicians as what they are - overpaid pieces of environmental waste that are only required to put forward viewpoints we instruct them to. Regardless of their race. Any race or group in society that fawns over politicians and thrusts fame and koha on them is typically a race of people going backwards, look at New Zealand's Polynesian neighbours as the best example. Politicians don't solve problems. They merely create them for real people to clean up. That a 28 year old can do your job and many younger apply, can't give being a politician much credibility as a respected profession at all.

Young Maori need to be achieving in private businesses, not ones running off the treaty gravy train, run by the bro or maoritocracy. There are precious few still who see making their own way in private business as better than sucking off the public purse and the endless treaty train. I don't care if more Maori are graduating University, if they just join the treaty gravy-train they are going nowhere as a People. Like this one the Blonde Busted today. Treaty Gravy train driver from the cradle to the grave Sacha McMeeking, who has her grubby, sweaty hands in more pies than Parekura. A name to watch? Only if you are in charge of the purse strings.

Busted Blonde goes for the bro-verkill with Tau as well:

And if Tau can get 1000 Maori to give up smoking in one year then he wont just be a role model he will be a hero .

No he won't.

If Maori are relying on their teak sucking, token and otherwise broken arse, bent and crooked politicians to be rolemodels then it is little wonder younger better educated Maori aren't following along. They might be smarter than their parents and grandparents in ceasing to fawn over their servants as important.

Tau Henare was elected off the back of Winston Peters and old white people in Tauranga, he was elected in the National Party off the backs of Party members requiring a brown face on the ticket. He wasn't elected for any particular skill other than cunning with respect to bludging, and being cheeky.

Giving up smoking does not make you a rolemodel. What makes you a rolemodel is being strong enough never to have started.

But with typical Henare bro-verkill (such as this) he's gone out and made his trademark big thing about it on his Facebook page which quite frankly is written in a cross between Ma-nglish and American street slang all, when if he was seriously about quitting he would just go and quietly achieve it then once he's achieved it demand all Maori do the same.

Pray National can attract some younger more intelligent Maori for the list next time.

Singapore Sling

I am currently navigating Singapore.

As those of you know that have visited these parts, the shopping is the largest distraction. Not to mention blowing one's colon and insides on the notoriously hot curries. Already came off second best on day one.

In the space of a few days I have been asked to leave a certain local establishment (that rhymes with "shooters") after the third attempt by locals of pouring very wrong strawberry daiquiris, whereby I broke through the bar gate and attempted to pour it myself when the waitresses were off begging for tips. It was my first drink that I didn't get to have.

Next stop I could not resist The Clinic Bar



This very un-PC location would be Busted Blonde's mate Spaz's favourite, everyone gets to sit in wheelchairs and later on races are held. I didn't see much point in that as you are encouraged to race in the chairs. Only woofters drink from glasses, as the accessories are test tubes, straws and IV bags. In New Zealand I imagine this bar would have never got its license as the fun police would have kicked up a smurf at it.

A few imposters at The Fullerton pretending to be pilots at the Airshow currently in town, were dismissed. One had glasses thicker than coke bottles. The waitresses at the bar that rhymes with Shooters, may have fallen for that one, but fighter pilots have to have a little better vision than that and perhaps be a little smaller than one Brits was, to sit in the seat.

The irony of being a guest of The Clinic Bar was that this morning I woke with a thoroughly irritated eye and nose which presented as having gone a few rounds with the inside of Jake Heke's fist. Prior to the expedition to the bar that rhymes with Shooters, and The Clinic Bar, I indulged in a bit of spa treatment. The massage went okay, the brow waxing was a scale A disaster as a particular allergy to colophony in the wax ensued. Needless to say the hotel was very apologetic and paid for the nice on-duty call Doctor to come and visit who did not even know what "colophony" actually is, but I assume the injection is a general cure all. They even left a bowl of very ripe (read soft and off) fruit to aid my recovery.

Off to navigate the malls and markets up in Orchard Road tonight. No doubt dodging plenty of K1W1's rolling out of Orchard Towers, known as the "four floors of whores".