Dumb Idea 2 - The Snail Trail

It amuses me that every blogger and journo who has come out in support of this crazy idea, perhaps hasn't sat on a push bike since Muldoon was Prime Minister, however I digress.

This is a crazy watermelon (green on outside, pink in middle) of an idea that must have been thought of on the 2nd toke of a very bad joint. There is no way John Key thought of it all himself, he's far too sensible. Someone has got into his head and implanted a stupid chip. *

The snail trail is said to be costed at $50 million, but lets double that for bad accounting and take basically forever to build once necessary consents, delays and bad weather was taken into account. In return 4,000 people would be required to build this cycleway. Again lets double that in consulting fees to resource consent processes, consultants and comms people.

You can close your eyes right now and crystal ball that segments of the snail trail will be completed a decade at a time.

The only thing that deserves to be built down the length of New Zealand is a 4 lane a side autobahn so New Zealanders can exercise their true love - CARS. That's about as realistic as the snail trail.

Tourist chiefs are all excited but lets look at the quality of tourist who rides a bike? Backpackers and low end Teva sandal wearers who take pride in not showering for days on end. I guess Air New Zealand can bring them to New Zealand on budget airfares which would have excited Rob Fyfe in the audience but there is only one way I would support a snail trail

Sell off sections to private interests once it is built and toll it.

* Update - the idea reports the SST came from Auckland Real Estate salesman, Graham Wall. Shame on you GW for such an outrageously expensive and stupid idea. GW admits "I've never tramped and never owned a bike since I left school". About right.

GW does have extensive experience however in walking round the Viaduct slowly enjoying the view with numerous pretty women if that counts. This is just his idea to nationalise that activity I guess.

Here is a picture of the man who will cost taxpayers more than $50 million if his batty idea is approved for lift off:



Hangs out drinking coffee and networking in the nice parts of Auckland driving fast cars quickly. If you see him give him $50 million worth of kicking on behalf of the taxpayer.

Dumb Idea 1 - The Nine Day Fortnight

Up to 70,000 workers could have part of their wages paid by the Government under the "nine-day fortnight" proposal approved at yesterday's jobs summit.

So instantly you have created or expanded the reliance on the State of 70,000 beneficiaries. Many of these people are likely to be collecting welfare for families and other subsidies anyway.

Officials calculated that, if the scheme covered 10 per cent of all employees working at least 20 hours a week in firms employing at least 20 people, it would help 70,000 people and cost $191 million a year, including $63 million to subsidise training or tuition.

Noises so far have employees spending that 10th day doing community service (it's like the PEP scheme all over again) or in training (likely for a position that won't exist for many years in the current economic climate). So on day 10, 70,000 private sector workers would be turned into public sector ones.

I don't see why the taxpayer has to pick up the bill for this. And from the Union perspective, many workers will just be forced to work 10 days of their current productivity into 9 anyway. Ask anyone who works 3 or 4 days a week, chances are they squeeze 5 days work into that time. It is quite an effort that Key got the Unions to support it.

But here is a far better idea if we are going all Pinko and have the taxpayer pay for the luxury of keeping jobs that aren't actually there:



Rather than a day off where the time can solely be used for the worker, let workers drop their hours each day and FORCE them to go off every day at 3pm so they can pick up their kids from school and shock horror, actually force them to spend some time with them before it gets dark.

At the lower end of the breeding pool that this is targeted, having the father pick up and then supervise the kids from 3pm may not only lower petty crime but it may actually have better social consequences than a day of muck about training especially if the worker does not have much of a chance of ever getting a better job than they already have.

And it would be a nice break for the mothers.

They all may actually be forced to become better parents if they are not already.

Jobs (For The Boys) Summit

Reporting and trumping that the Jobs Summit cost just $65,000 to host shows how out of touch people are with the true cost of a day off work for 200 attendees.

If you calculate the lost productivity and add in the time charges and travel costs of 200 attendees in that room for a day you are looking at I would imagine several million dollars that John Key has spent getting 20 ideas that in reality a National Party caucus meeting and his hundreds of public sector advisors should have been able to come up with.

Everyone attending the Summit appears to be under Chatham House rules, including the most common Chatham House rule that applies in every Boys Club across the world, "thou must not say anything that undermines what we did in private". Attendees including journalists appear to have been brainwashed with positivity chemicals emitting from the disposable cardboard lunch boxes.

According to Granny Herald the 3 big items from the Jobs (for the boys) Summit were:

A nine-day working fortnight, an investment fund worth hundreds of millions of dollars and - the surprise item - a cycleway the length of New Zealand.

The only way to create employment is not for Government to do it with an enlarged public sector, or subsidise private sector jobs that there is no demand for presently, but for sustained periods of economic growth. This participant needed to be taken out the back and shot for this statement:

"A job summit is not a general economic summit. It's not about productivity and growth. It's about retaining and growing employment. So if it is to be jobs summit, then it's all about the labour market and this includes thinking about whether it has been harmed by successive court and government decisions. A rigid labour market is a sure-fire way to create unemployment."

Without productivity and growth there can be no growth in employment can there?

Most of the ideas relating to economic growth were based around getting Government out of the lives of businesspeople (9,10,11,13,14). You hardly needed a Summit to come to those conclusions.

It is not surprising that when you invite pigs to a trough, they attempt to drink at it. If you go through the 20, some very vague recommendations put out by attendees and the attendees core businesses you can see a direct correlation between the attendees and their niche areas of core business. Even the smoldering stench of private consulting firms was evident, waiting to pounce on any funds they could possibly get their snouts into and rub up the legs of John Key and his staff in attendance.

It's all mostly very underwhelming. I've highlighted the ideas I think are good and will endeavour as time permits to write about why I think the others are not.

1. Retain and upskill with a nine day fortnight.
2. Intra-national migration to remove barriers between employers and seasonal workers.
3. Keeping people in education and creating jobs through education and training.
4. Improving matching of supply and demand for training
5. Redundancy and transition support for people who lose their jobs.
6. Enhance the use of Maori iwi assets.
7. Ensure government services reach Maori effectively
8. Urgently develop and implement new sources of bond funding
9. Reduce regulatory compliance costs and impediments
10. A return to big project fast track.
11. A freeze on rule making by government agencies and regulators
12. Boosting tourist traffic funding
13. Accelerate energy, environmental and water initiatives for employment and productivity improvements
14. Streamline regulatory approval processes for major projects
15. Access to working capital delivered via an extension of the Export Credit Office
16. Level the playing field to New Zealand firms for local and central government procurement
17. Super-charge the debt market by streamlining reporting and disclosure requirements.
18. Develop a government/bank equity investment fund
19. Commitment by banks to provide capital to New Zealand firms.
20. Banks to significantly invest in financial literacy

But wait there is more! Regional Summits are coming to a town near you. Oh the joy, if this is what the supposed 200 leaders of the country can come up with then just imagine the crappy moon-bat ideas that will emerge from the provinces.

The Ministry of Social Development are at least being kept busy. The Summit is keeping them gainfully employed.

How Good Was That?

I don't really get the whole bodily mutilation thing but when you win games I don't really give a s***.

If you ever wondered why Brendon McCullum commands top dollar playing 20/20 slog cricket, think no more. I don't think there is an Indian batsman hitting the ball better than McCullum at present and New Zealand's top order is every bit as good as the Indian Bollywood poseurs.

Crowds should be going to matches to watch McCullum not the Bollywood poseurs. Somewhere in deepest darkest Te Atatu or Lower Hutt, the girls possibly think McCullum is quite hot as well.

McCullum is now carrying his bat and ensuring that New Zealand wins games, not just looks good when they lose.

Roll on the ODI's, and live streaming not to conk out in the last 2 overs. Bastards.

Farewell Tim But You Still Owe Me Lunch

Kiwiblog writes a nice obituary for Tim Pankhurst for his time as Editor at the Dominion Post.



Most notably this:

His work on stories such as the Louise Nicholas investigation and The Dominion Post’s work last year on funding questions around NZ First have had a significant impact on New Zealand society. They are among the most significant newspaper investigations of the past 20 years and are testament to Tim’s skill and courage as an editor.

To which David adds:

I agree, that his backing of staff such as Phil Kitchin, has been the newspaper at its finest. In the reporting of Donna Awatere-Huata, Lousie Nicholas and of course Winston, the Dom Post has had to endure masses of legal threats, but refused to back down.

And of course I add myself that it is possibly even greater testament to how Tim backs his contributors and the freedom of speech that I, an openly proud member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) have had a column in the paper for now not one or two but now three years almost to the day.

I imagine the complaint letters and bitchy whinging directed at it could prop up the Hurricanes front row.

Tim has though never once told me what I could or couldn't write about and has only ever been pleasant and intelligent when I have met him as he happily chatted away about the future of the internet, blogging and the online community even though he is a print man through and through.

Air NZ Doing Well

Rob Fyfe suffers 80% shrinkage

And we wonder why?

Strange thing is every Air NZ flight I have been on in the past year has been full.

Kiwiblog Jumps The Shark To A Mallard

Just when you think you can't go any lower saying nice things about the Greens, witness this on Kiwiblog with respect to an alleged comment by truly one of the most vile MP's that Labour has had in its history.

1. Trevor Mallard (3) Vote: 8 19 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 4:26 pm

   No Nats again. Shouldn’t be that hard to front up during the honeymoon.

So as they should with such a shit stirring Mallardism, the good potential VRWC members get in amongst it:

1. Gooner (376) Vote: 11 4 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 4:31 pm

   They’re well aware that after you’ve sculled a few Heinekens Trevor, that you’ll either try to put one where the sun don’t shine, or will practice your left hook and head butt on them so are correctly staying away.

2. Adolf Fiinkensein (763) Vote: 14 2 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 4:41 pm

   Maybe they are too busy, Trevor. Fixing your fuck ups.

3. big bruv (2734) Vote: 7 6 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 4:51 pm

   You always fronted aye Trev, indeed the abiding memory I will have of you is the way you had to “front” in court.

   Is it not time you started looking for another job like you loser mates Kullen and Klark?

1. dad4justice (4861) Vote: 6 5 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 4:56 pm

   Trevor fronted up in the dock? Oh my, I guess I could step a lawyer out in a Court house, but then Parliament is a well known cess-pit of crap.

Instead of sticking the boot in, David DEFENDS Mallard

1. David Farrar (1086) Vote: 7 3 Says:
   February 25th, 2009 at 5:14 pm

   Guys if an MP fronts here, please be civil and not just go off topic with old stuff.

   And for what it is worth I agree National MPs should be on as often as they are invited.

Jesus.

Next David will be accepting invites to appear on AltTv with Bomber to talk about left-wing politics.

Blackcaps Whip Indians

Couldn't watch this match but thank the Lord for Cricinfo which ball by ball explains beautifully the Cricket action.



The Black Caps took out those flashy poofy Indians by 7 wickets in the first 20/20 match in what appeared to be a fantastic display of six hitting.

With McCullum finding some form now carrying and innings and Guptill showing he is worthy of all the plaudits received so far not to mention the return of Jacob Oram, the Black Caps are looking very good to take the Indians in the 20/20's and one dayers at least.

I urge all New Zealand fans to get along to the games and give their support to the home side. Indian sides have traditionally split like bananas when the chips are down and a few wins to the Black Caps could result in many more.

Lets smash them to piece on our home turf and send their Bollywood heads home between their arses.

India have become the Manchester City of world Cricket. All cash and mixed mash. Everyone used to like them but now they are a true pack of show boating wankers who can collapse with inconsistency at any time.

Also pleased to see NZ Cricket delaying their Zimbabawe tour to 2010 (read: when country sorts shit out). No one wants to go to Zimbabwe, least of all you need 6 servants to carry the amount of money needed now to buy and incecream bar. I don't think too many Black Caps will be upset by this decision.

Zimbabwe is a joke and you know Mugabe would have met the team at the airport for a dirty photo op. New Zealand shouldn't play a part of it on the sports field, trade or in politics.

Feminism At Its Finest III

Rihanna is considering getting back with her (alleged) thug of a boyfriend Chris Brown, who (allegedly)did this to her.



The reason that a whole host of women the world all over have fallen for - presents.

The 19-year-old singer sent Rihanna a host of presents including an iPod and diamond necklace and bracelet and also phoned her during her low-key party last Friday.

Despite Rihanna's friends being against the reunion (no shit!), the Barbados-born beauty is feeling lonely without Chris.

If she gets back together with him then one can only conclude she deserves it the next time he smashes the crap out of her.

Staggering. It's not like she can't get another hotter industry date, buy herself an iPod or diamonds. She normally looks like this:

Lets hope the parents and friends, or even Oprah makes an intervention.

Mark's Marvellous Monopoly

"Cheers Mark,you are a fucking amateur, stick around and I'll show you what it means to be an unpopular bastard".

Today the NZX plastered their profit announcement ($10.2 million for the full year) all over lazy media outlets who happily copied and pasted Mark Weldon's ubiquitous never-ending nauseating praise for himself. With these sorts of profits, you would think NZX could afford to pay for FASTER themselves rather than forcing brokers to stump up with the $5 mill?

If you search back on my old posts and in the comments I have stopped well short of predicting NZX would have a bad year profit result wise. How could they possibly have a bad year?

They are not only a monopoly but a self-regulating one.

At a time where debt market listings are booming as companies are forced to raise capital through bond issues rather than lend money from a bank. I don't see how NZX can take credit for this piece of good fortune. But they did.

Listings revenue was down 8 per cent to $8.4m, while the NZDX debt market grew 20 per cent in 2008, with market capitalisation at $12 billion at the end of the year.

"This is a uniquely successful market globally, of real importance to New Zealand issuers which were able to access debt via the NZDX at a time when global debt markets were `closed'," Weldon said.

What we don't like and was my core issue with Weldon before I was leaked a series of correspondence between NZX and SIA is his holier than thou attitude about CEO's who have a bad year performing in a competitive market because NZX's market is far from competitive at all to compare his job to other CEO's.

NZX uses its New Zealand monopoly position to compete and participate outside of New Zealand with key investments touted now in South Africa and Australia. So local revenues are being used to grow their international business? The capital market in New Zealand is taking a fair pounding and again we ask how many new listings were there in the past few years?

And the reaction from the free market? Mass buying to a confident surge towards the yearly high of $8.41? Nope shares in NZX traded down 3.57% on the profit announcement. Here is NZX's chart for the past year.



Page 22 of the Financial Statements shows what is driving Weldon - details of the CEO share scheme. If I am not mistaken the sole driver is the earnings per share.

We still don't believe in the Weldonfairy.

Air New Zealand - Business Premier - FAIL

Just got off the NZ0039 Auckland - Hong Kong leg on the big plane that goes through to London. I usually enjoy Air New Zealand but I've had an absolute toadful of flying them after doing so for almost a month now in and out of the Islands and domestically. Just when my Gold Elite status should be coming through.

1. Have any of you been on an Air New Zealand flight in business premier and the 1998 Veuve they brag about having on the champagne list has actually been available?

2. Why just 2 toilets in the upper deck that business premier passengers have to SHARE with rows totalling 35 premium economy passengers? Mostly old people who use the toilet a disproportional amount of time?

3. Why are premium economy passengers called at the SAME time as business premier to board the plane when business premier pay more than twice the price?

4. Why provide you with blankets and duvets and then turn the air conditioning up to a zillion degrees when we are trying to sleep only to take umbrage when I pull off my Qantas pyjamas and sleep in the nick when it's so damn hot?

5. It was a midnight flight. Why not do what other airlines do and offer a full meal in the lounge before and make it a sleeper service? Lights straight off, everyone tucked into their beds? Two hours later and the meal is served. Ridiculous.

6. The buttons on the entertainment program don't work and it takes forever to get through the music catalogue. And you ahve to get through it as it is stacked with shit New Zealand music.

7. Why don't Air New Zealand keep a special lane so business premier and Gold Elite clients can board at their leisure without having to wait with the masses (witness Pacific Island flights where it becomes a scrum after families are allowed to board BEFORE business class passengers)?

8. Today it was announced that all business premier passengers were to get off the plane first. Not in the upper deck where the premium economy passengers are seated closer to the steps so all got off first without the hostesses directing them to sit down. Charming.

9. Apart from the long bed, what advantage then is there of flying business premier at all when every privilege seems to be available to premium economy for less than half the price?

10. Has Rob Fyfe stopped drinking the 1998 Veuve stash that's most likely sitting in his office, and wondered why high-margin, high-end businessmen choose to fly Singapore Airlines, Emirates or at a scratch, Cathay for long haul? And it possibly has very little to do with the staff.

Blackout - The New Hunger Strike

Only Pinkos strike.

Bloggers from left, right and centre have enough political influence to simply go to their MP's and demand law changes.

Quotes You Will Never See On A VRWC Blog

I am a proud member of the VRWC (vast right-wing conspiracy). We don't like Pinkos or warmists, unless they are soft, cute and amusing. Even then we definitely are not friends with ANY of them and we would only blog in support of them when they do something we like - which is advocate lower taxes and more private property rights for rich people who are self-made.

A lot of people tell me (mostly those from the MSM) David Farrar is right wing and part of the VRWC. I beg to differ as exposed in this tasty morsel on one of the most repugnant bitches in Parliament Jeanette Fitzsimons. Now far from it for anyone with a brain to find her cute and fluffy but she is permanently evil and she advocates policies highly detrimental to the future of New Zealand - all wrapped up in cute fluff "Vote for your Grandchildren" advertisements.

David Farrar quotes in this sickly piece

Yep. You very very rarely hear a bad word about her.

You would David if you actually listened at the VRWC meetings, or anyone with basic Capitalist instinct. Too many hours with students and Socialists we fear.

Oh please please please let the Greens select Catherine Delahunty as co-leader. If she stands, I urge all Kiwiblog readers to join the Green Party and vote for her

Another Pinko friend in the making is it David? And encouraging people to join their slimey hypocritical party? You must be joking?

Sue Bradford is a very competent and hard working MP.

I think Metira Turei is their best bet. She is very smart, and while she is a radical (former anarchist), she has been pretty restrained as an MP.

Oh sweet Jesus. The best thing the Greens could do is disband and go hug Whales and trees. Bradford's only hard working because she's too thick to get through the papers on time as she's out helping bludgers scam more benefits and Turei is one snip short of a Communist whose only been restrained because the old duffer Fitzsimons has been able to control her with mungbeans and Mao t-shirts.

That Fitzsimons is leaving can only be good news. A power struggle should result in the Greens and when National wake up and repeal every Green lead piece of airy-fairy nonsense that Labour were extorted into supporting - the better and richer we all will be.

Random Impertinent Questions

Is there a straight man in Auckland who gets more pussy rubbed over him than Ricardo Simich?
Is he really gay or is he just pretending?





All this action from one party.

Courtesy: Noz at The A List.

Denny Crane For Prime Minister

YES!

Stanford Sensationalism

Mad Cricketing Sugar Daddy, Allen Stanford has been found and civil papers have been served on him. And like when anyone is alleged to be involved in fraud, everyone associated even slightly with that person automatically becomes guilty until proven innocent.



Of course sensationalism in journalism reigns supreme, head this effort by Mitchell Hall. This I assume is the same Mitchell Hall who dates shock frock Lucie Boshier. At least what Lucie writes has to be sensationalism by the very nature of the topics she traverses. Hall should do more research and speak to people who have knowledge in the areas he is writing about, for he sure does not. If journalists seethe at bloggers who can't write and misrepresent issues, professional people seethe at journos who don't get their facts right when they parrot out nonsense. So lets have a looksie at what is going on here.

New Zealand has what is called a New Zealand foreign trust regime. It is enshrined in law and legitimate with the IRD AND all DTA countries that have agreements with New Zealand. In other words - they know what is going on and it is all legal. On the IRD website they even tell you how to set one up.

Most practitioners in New Zealand who are connected to the offshore industry offer services to set them up. Plenty work in Latin America and the Caribbean where Stanford promoted his business. All New Zealand foreign trusts now have to be disclosed with the IRD by the firm or person with administers the trust. That person or firm in general has to have a New Zealand residence connection and be qualified in the area of trusts, accounting or law. Like all jurisdictions that offer these services, an operating office has to be situated in that jurisdiction. Hall claims that the New Zealand company arm is an advisory business. I doubt very much that it is anything other than providing this agency type of service.

Stanford Trust Company appears to be an advisory business.

Any advisory will only be for New Zealand Company and Foreign trust services. It will not be investment advisory services or anything remotely connected with what Stanford is alleged to have done. Most trust deeds actually separate the fiduciary (trustee) and advisory (brokers and investment analysts) arm of managing the trust assets.

New Zealand tax residents ARE NOT settlors of New Zealand foreign trusts. The settlor/s(who puts the assets into trust) are foreigners. The trust will not pay any tax in New Zealand unless there is New Zealand sourced income. The beneficiaries in the trust will not pay any tax in New Zealand unless they are New Zealand tax resident OR if foreigners, there is New Zealand sourced income.

The foreign trusts are used in conjunction with double tax agreements and their articles negotiated by Government or on their own as legitimate structuring tools. For foreigners. Not New Zealanders.

Stanford Trust Company in New Zealand would have set up these foreign trusts for clients based on referrals from the Group.

Hall describes it:

"As part of its elaborate structure, The Stanford Group Company, under its wealth management operations, directed clients to the Stanford Trust Company, which has subsidiary offices in New Zealand and Columbia".

Nonsense. There is nothing elaborate about what is going on here. And there is no subsidiary in New Zealand.

The actual website in the footnotes states that:

"The Stamford Financial Group is not a legal entity but a registered trademark that encompasses the global network of independent, affiliated, privately held and wholly owned entities".

Which clearly states the independence of the New Zealand company to that of the other affiliated members. Not as Hall headlines in describing the New Zealand trust company:

The fate of a local subsidiary of the Stanford Group Company.......

Wrong again.

A subsidiary in New Zealand is defined at section 5 of the Companies Act

Meaning of holding company and subsidiary

• (1) For the purposes of this Act, a company is a subsidiary of another company if, but only if,—

  • (a) That other company—

    • (i) Controls the composition of the board of the company; or

    • (ii) Is in a position to exercise, or control the exercise of, more than one-half the maximum number of votes that can be exercised at a meeting of the company; or

    • (iii) Holds more than one-half of the issued shares of the company, other than shares that carry no right to participate beyond a specified amount in a distribution of either profits or capital; or

    • (iv) Is entitled to receive more than one-half of every dividend paid on shares issued by the company, other than shares that carry no right to participate beyond a specified amount in a distribution of either profits or capital; or

  • (b) The company is a subsidiary of a company that is that other company's subsidiary.

  (2) For the purposes of this Act, a company is another company's holding company, if, but only if, that other company is its subsidiary.

  (3) In this section and sections 7 and 8 of this Act, the expression company includes a body corporate.

If Hall graduated from google searching other people's incorrect work and did some quick research and stripped back the layers of ownership and control he would find that the registered individual shareholder behind the New Zealand company structure is in fact not Allen Stanford or any foreign owned Stanford named entity but the New Zealand lawyer who is operating the entity, as he owns New Zealand Trust Nominees Limited that in turn owns the shares in Stanford Trust Company Limited and Stanford Trust Company (New Zealand) Limited. The New Zealand lawyer is sole director of all the New Zealand entities. This is a very simple and transparent ownership structure that any graduate business journalist should comprehend and search for in two minutes on the Companies Office website.

It is not unusual in the offshore industry for companies to not have full service offices in each jurisdiction but a name plate set up with a local agent who does other similar work. It is perfectly legitimate and the New Zealand lawyer involved here looks like all he is doing is managing a cubicle style arrangement under his other activities in the name of Stanford. Firms do this so it impresses potential clients that they have a worldwide network of offices that the clients can be serviced by, New Zealand is one arm of this network. The New Zealand lawyer owns and controls the entities and would be remunerated for his services based on what referrals he gets from the independent offices in the Group referring work to him. He will have a referral style agreement with other independent owners in this group and most likely with a special clause that states there is no partnership or subsidiary relationship. He will also have a huge confidentiality clause which will stop him from speaking out now to defend himself and his activities in any case.

Like many, I will be fascinated to see if there is any legitimacy behind the claims of the SEC and if "fraud" actually has been committed by Stanford. Or if there are any links to Bernard Madoff and his ponzi scheme.

But of course it's far more sensational to use the words "offshore", "fraud" and name drop the billionaire all over the media without understanding precisely what is going on.

This article by Hall is so blatantly sensationalistic - and factually just incorrect the NBR will be lucky they don't get served papers.

I shall put NZ mainstream media (and pinko bloggers) on notice right now I will serve it up all over their dumb "arse bubbles" on this blog if they misrepresent especially the words "money laundering", "fraud", "havens" and "hiding money in secret bank accounts" in their offshore industry reporting based on the financial crisis fallout.

Worst Waitress of Year Entrant

This week I went to Soul.....once. Time for a bit of staff training via the blogging medium.

To most readers' shock and horror I am a fan of Soul at the Viaduct in Auckland but I shall be boycotting it in full until Judith Tabron returns and trains the (mostly foreign student) help properly.

A friend of mine (who happens to be one of her former boyfriends and still are friends) and I went into Soul for a drink. It would have been more had this incident not occurred, as I am well known for not having just one drink anywhere.

Five minutes waiting while we sat on a chair for table service. When I asked for table service we got the run around and a girl stating she had to go check to serve us.

Finally an order was placed (above) and more waiting. Instead of bringing me the drinks and then asking to start a tab, we were immediately pillaged with a demand notice placed under our noses and no drinks and a rude snappy five foot nothing demand of "how will you be paying for this". As you can see above, the bill was at this stage $24. Check below to see how much a session turns into when I get good service and started and you will tell this stupid little twit deserves to be out the back cleaning the dishes.

At McDonald's drive-thru you have to pay at window 1 and pick up at window 2. Not at a bar that touts itself as a classy establishment. I wasn't ordering a bottle of vintage Krug, it was $24 of drinks, more is usually spent on the water.

So I make my protests known as she walks away. On return she made the most schoolgirl of errors in the service industry, raising her voice and snapping from five foot nothing,"Look is there a problem?". Well, of course there is a fucking problem isn't there and she has just created a conflict of potential epic proportions if I let loose on her if my companion didn't give me the stare down to stop.

I've been to Soul for years. Practically lived at the place in my twenties. The standard operating procedure has ALWAYS been to bring the bill with the first drinks and at that stage give you the polite option of setting up a tab. This pre-payment demand notice procedure has to bloody stop. It's just slutty.



So to waitress ID: Luana, your $24 error cost Soul several thousand dollars of business this week as you can see from two sample receipts from when I go out on the lash with just a couple of friends at a time. Judith should take it out of your wages. While the little schoolgirl thing may work with pissed old men who think you are cute as you flirt with them for tips, when it comes to your slutty demands for pre-payment of drinks it won't wash.

And after all that when you had my credit card you didn't open a tab as requested, you brought me back the receipt to sign. So we left.

FAIL. Big FAIL.

Southern Glory Oysters

That bloody Busted Blonde has beat me to it, but I shall now blog on Southern Glory Oysters having eaten I am sure now more than she has.

More please

At a very long Euro lunch myself and up to just two other friends consumed 4 bottles of Veuve and 2 and a half dozen of these absolutely tasty morsels.

Oysters for entree, main dish of duck then oysters for dessert. Not a lot better for lunch and even though they are priced at $6 each I point out you can't buy frozen oysters for that in Hong Kong so parting wasn't sweet sorrow. And they are a meal in themselves.

What makes them even juicier is that they are rare and shipment and supply can't be guaranteed. Yesterday we delayed our lunch with more alcohol in order to wait for the truck to deliver to the door of Euro and on to the plates of the adoring masses inside.

Last year I consumed dozens of Bluff oysters at Euro and Soul. This year I was too early for the Bluff's but these are (and it is a HUGE call) - completely SUPERIOR to the Bluffies.

Property Rights and the Job Summit

Property rights should of course be a central focus to us all. The greatest property right surely must be to keep what you earn and not have the government steal it, and if they do steal it, they should compensate you fairly for it.

On a related note Matthew Hooton speaks his normal sense in today's NBR highlighting some theft to come:

As the NBR reported exclusively on May 2, 2008, the Treasury sent a report to Labour’s Charles Chauvel early last year explaining that the ETS would transfer $21 billion from the private sector to the Crown.

That report has never been released and the very existence of the $21 billion windfall was kept secret until Mr Chauvel’s select committee had finished hearing submissions from the public.

In other words, the public were told the ETS was about meeting a $600-odd million liability when in fact it was always more about Cullen raising $21 billion extra in taxes. The difference between the two figures underlines the sheer lunacy of the system Labour legislated for, and why Cullen was so happy to pay billions to the Greens and NZ First to get it through.

If ever there was a singular killer threat to jobs in New Zealand, this could be it. Soaking up $21 billion more stolen from business and given to ....... well thin air.

It's superlative also to read that part of this useless jobs summit will involve New Zealand's latest record breaking performer F&P Managing Director John Bongard who will be Chairing a session, I suggest aptly titled:

Fucked Up Your Company: How to Pitch For a Bailout.

Things We Don't Need To See

The poor Brits are now not only subjected to Jade Goody's bizarre life, but her death. It's a tad morbid in my view and distressing for all children.

As talentless as you think she may be, compelling viewing I guess. I'm always fascinated about just how mental someone would be to seek fame for doing absolutely nothing and losing their anonymity.

But she's the one laughing now as she's probably worth a few million quid now and a rolemodel for many Brits.

Little Britain - that produces this freak show that I am still getting the head around. His voice hasn't even dropped.



But then Kiwis shouldn't laugh too loud. we have Aja Rock and according to recent media, plenty of teen pregnancy.

Time For Education Overhaul

Rich prick schools now want bailout.

Government has a large issue here. To bailout or not. If every child moves from private to state funded education....well........they couldn't afford it.

Socialists at the PPTA of course say that Government shouldn't be propping up private schools. Geniuses. So just because a child chooses to go to one school over another, works hard, gets accepted - then they get less funding than those in the state sector? Especially when parents of pupils at private school no doubt already pay for more than their child to attend school.

However, Post Primary Teachers Association president Kate Gainsford said supporting private schools was a waste of taxpayer money.

"This is simply a private business asking the Government for a handout because times are financially tough. That money would need to come from the pool that funds the state schools, which desperately need it."

If Ms Gainsford has lived in the real world this year she would realise there is a financial crisis looming and parents can't afford to send their kids to private school. What does she want? Over-crowded state schools?

Now is the time to radically reform the state system such that parents don't feel the need to send precious little Johnny to a school where it is likely he will get beaten up, have little gang-banger thugs in his class who disrupt his education.

To me that's the only reason you send a child to private school - so the child gets a better class of friends.