Cruelty to the Aged
Just when I'm about to write how old, tired and boring the Sunday Star Times columnists have become (I mean fuck have they all got tenure?), Michael Laws comes out with a gem.
Laws takes his former partner and three children under four years old including Starship's most famous patient - Lucy who seems to (quite rightly after what she's been through) be spoiled rotten to Queensland. For ten days.
Which was the Amazon's advice to me this week as my two year old smeared vegemite over my face in a Maroochydore shopping mall.
Of course this was to be a disaster. Aged men with young children - well it's abuse of the elderly flat out isn't it? Laws could never handle the skippies (c) on his own so he's brought along the ex? This is one stupid/brave man. It could have been SO much worse.
So for those of you who can't stand Michael Laws and wish him bad karma, enjoy this moment
And my nine month old managed to vacate his bodily fluids while I was holding him and trying to convince a disinterested shop assistant that my demands should be taken seriously. Bloody hard to do when poos is running down your arms.
Still, it beats looking after Winston.
Still, it beats looking after Winston.
posted by Cactus Kate at 7:55 AM
8 Comments:
"poos running down arms"? has this useless twat not heard of nappies? someone call CYFS now before these children are exposed to any more bad parenting...
Never underestimate the sheer volume that can be produced by the digestive systems of little people.
I have experienced first hand the spectacular failure of otherwise capable nappies at the hands (bottoms really) of a small kid that appeared to contain more poo than I thought physically possible given his mass.
I have a rough rule of thumb that says the quantity of poo is inversley proportional to the size of the child and that on the odd occasion nappies just don't cope.
While I've never liked Laws I do feel for him, but looking on the brightside at least his little guy didn't do a projectile vomit over him or the shop assistant at the same time.
What Nick said. It truly does beggar belief.
And when said young one has been constipated for 10 days, as my wee one had on one particular unforgettable occasion...
I swear, small kids' intestines are a sort of digestive Tardis. There is no other explanation.
Laws is the type of bloke you would go for?
No, what gave you that stupid idea?
Are you one of those people who looks at a gay man and thinks "oh my god he must be after me because I'm a man"?
Just because a man is old doesn't mean I think he's hot enough to bother. For fuck's sake.
Wait, Laws is gay?! OMG! I totally knew it! It was the eyeliner wasn't it?
If a straight woman falls for a gay chap, does that make her bisexual?
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