Dumb Idea 2 - The Snail Trail
It amuses me that every blogger and journo who has come out in support of this crazy idea, perhaps hasn't sat on a push bike since Muldoon was Prime Minister, however I digress.
This is a crazy watermelon (green on outside, pink in middle) of an idea that must have been thought of on the 2nd toke of a very bad joint. There is no way John Key thought of it all himself, he's far too sensible. Someone has got into his head and implanted a stupid chip. *
The snail trail is said to be costed at $50 million, but lets double that for bad accounting and take basically forever to build once necessary consents, delays and bad weather was taken into account. In return 4,000 people would be required to build this cycleway. Again lets double that in consulting fees to resource consent processes, consultants and comms people.
You can close your eyes right now and crystal ball that segments of the snail trail will be completed a decade at a time.
The only thing that deserves to be built down the length of New Zealand is a 4 lane a side autobahn so New Zealanders can exercise their true love - CARS. That's about as realistic as the snail trail.
Tourist chiefs are all excited but lets look at the quality of tourist who rides a bike? Backpackers and low end Teva sandal wearers who take pride in not showering for days on end. I guess Air New Zealand can bring them to New Zealand on budget airfares which would have excited Rob Fyfe in the audience but there is only one way I would support a snail trail
Sell off sections to private interests once it is built and toll it.
* Update - the idea reports the SST came from Auckland Real Estate salesman, Graham Wall. Shame on you GW for such an outrageously expensive and stupid idea. GW admits "I've never tramped and never owned a bike since I left school". About right.
GW does have extensive experience however in walking round the Viaduct slowly enjoying the view with numerous pretty women if that counts. This is just his idea to nationalise that activity I guess.
Here is a picture of the man who will cost taxpayers more than $50 million if his batty idea is approved for lift off:
Hangs out drinking coffee and networking in the nice parts of Auckland driving fast cars quickly. If you see him give him $50 million worth of kicking on behalf of the taxpayer.
posted by Cactus Kate at 9:00 PM
15 Comments:
Two lanes each way is plenty in most places.
Build another two lanes somewhere in the general vicinity of the current SH1 -- it doesn't matter if they get a km or so apart sometimes (I90 east of Seattle has eastbound and westbound on opposite sides of a mountain valley at one point), but probably anything from 0 - 100m is more typical. And then make the current road one way and the new road the other way.
And put in a bloody bike track while they are at it. It would add bugger all to the cost if done at the same time, as opposed to doing it stand-alone.
But I do think it is worth doing. I have enjoyed bicycling very much in places with good bike tracks, such as alone *all* the freeways around Seattle (including dedicated tunnels through the interchanges), along the side of Lake Michigan in Chicago etc. And I say this as a 120 kg blob.
Didn't someone tell these people that in a few years time there will be a perfectly good trail available.
Someones just has to figure out an easy way to remove those dam redundant railway tracks!
Exactly. We have a cycleway called SH1 and if it had been built correctly in the first place we would have a fucking cycleway. Christ, at the moment in some places SH1 resembles the Irish main highway (and no fucker in their right mind would ever ride a bike on that)
Am glad it bypasses Nelson.
Anybody want to bet on how many Taniwha are hiding around the exact same areas as the proposed track? Fancy that!
you really grabbed me with that headline. In my world a "snail trail" is something completely different
CONGRATULATIONS UN-PC!!!!
You win the prize.
Totally my intention.
This blog is all about smut as you know :)
Gosh it must have been the early 70's the first time I was asked "why do women have legs?".
It didn't seem particularly funny at 11 yrs old so I hope you're thinking of something else.
I agree, I'd rather see more cycle lanes where people live and travel regularly and when tourists pay taxes, then we can build them a cycle lane.
Charge tourists $200 to get in and we'd get a better class of tourist and an extra $200,000,000 (from non NZ voters so who cares if they whinge) each year and we might even finish a few motorways.
Smut-tastic. Awfully annoying having to clean up those damn trails....I'd ask her to do it herself but I'm a gentleman.
People dont cycle because its too fucking dangerous, what with all the pregnant drunk p-high 14 year old's driving out there. Not to mention the worst of them all-old age pensioners. The OAPs are just murder.
Hmm, snail trails. Ha not on my side of the bed!
And it rains too much in NZ. Pity the cyclist who arrives at work all drenched ready to start the day.
Turn the entire length of SH1 into a motorway? wtf? Motorways are the most boring roads where your viagra swilling olde readers here all drive their nancy cars at 106km, so any speedier bike gets noticed by cops. Nah. Fuck SH1 motorways. Keep the twistey windey non motorway roads where 130-140km is the rule for motorbikes.
cyclists?? I hate those cyclists riding two abreast - get em off the roads.
I’m taking-it none of you have been to Central Otago lately, nor heard of ‘The Rail Trail’?
Otago is in the South Island by the way.(google it)
If you had, you wouldn’t be criticising his idea.
Gotta go.
Paul.
Yeah great. Lets all go to Otago and ride bicycles. Fun.
Have no problem with the idea but if it's so commercial a private enterprise should build the trail and toll it. Yeah..thought not.
If it's not commercial then why should the taxpayer take a 50-100 million gamble on this silly project?
The precedent for a tourist cycle-way is there for us to look at – if one wants to open ones eyes.
This concept is working for the communities of Central Otago = their number one tourist draw card.
The fact you don’t like cycling, is neither here nor near.
I hate 10 metre yacht racing – the government threw millions at that billionaires & siliconly enhanced blonde-bimbos, past-time.
It will be the small communities along the cycle trail that will benefit, not the chardonnay drinking, latte lapping, beer in green bottles ‘Queencityites’ for a change.
Gotta shoot.
Paul.
PS: May be we could incorporate the best of The Americas Cup (the said siliconly enhanced bimbos) and the Cycle Way, and make the trail ‘clothing optional’, with heavy discounts for eastern Europeans and Scandinavians?
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