Inaugural Asian Invasion Blogger of The Year Award
Unlike people who model themselves on being nice to everyone, and an NCEA system that allows everyone to pass therefore making any praise entirely worthless, when I give an award I mean it and everyone knows that I mean it.
So this year I have decided to name a New Zealand blogger of the year.
This blogger must in an election year made an impact beyond the sooky bylines of those that merely act as self-serving praise vehicles for those that they wish to score consulting contracts or jobs with. This blogger must a person who doesn't care what the incoming or outgoing Government thinks of them. The person must be so unaware or care so little that what they write will negatively impact on their chance to every work in Parliamentary Services or for the Party that they stand alone at the top of their own Everest.
And the 2008 winner is
WHALEOIL
In my years of blogging, in fact in all my years being involved in politics I have never met anyone who cares so little about what those on his side or against him thinks of what he writes. A man so passionate that he is right that he will argue an entire day on a blog with every nutcase placed in front of him. A man so loyal that he still to this day will defend Maurice Williamson.
A man who devotes his entire energy into blogging, has his own business cards for his blog and in my entire time knowing him, regardless of where he is going to meet you, will wear only his own merchandise. Whaleoil is a true beast of conflict. Sometimes with the loudest and boorish of potty-mouths yet in a milli-second can say or write something so poetic, meaningful and intelligent that you can only burst out laughing wondering just who the fuck this guy is.
A man who when told to stop by his own people, calmly tells them to combine speed, sex and travel. A lone wolf hellbent on blazing a trail of destruction through those who are bad or dare piss him off.
Whaleoil has tormented the following candidates and causes into submission and irrelevance:
Pearl Going
Brendan Sheehan
Jordan Carter
Kate Sutton
Andrew Williams - The Cock from Campbells Bay
David Benson-Pope
Kees Kaiser and his The Standard links
James Sleep
Steve Chadwick ran away from an interview with Whaleoil
The Electoral Finance Act
The balls to be the first to put up the TVNZ Scampi video
Coined us the terms "Lickspittles", "Broken arses" and "Numptys" into acceptable modern usage
Posted a picture of Winston Peters at the Races when he said he never met Vela
Posted a picture of Winston Peters heading towards a helicopter when he said he's never used a chopper
The Winston Peters "No" Tauranga billboard, and Auckland Labour First hand holding billboards
Spurred Matthew Hooton on to call Winston Peters a f***ing c**t
The Blog Mobile tour including arranging sponsorships and interviews
The utterly fabulous Winston Peters and Judith Tizard Downfall videos
The "Two Helens" video that ended Labour's showing of the John Key equivalent
There's plenty I would have forgotten to mention the list is so prolific.
So this year I have decided to name a New Zealand blogger of the year.
This blogger must in an election year made an impact beyond the sooky bylines of those that merely act as self-serving praise vehicles for those that they wish to score consulting contracts or jobs with. This blogger must a person who doesn't care what the incoming or outgoing Government thinks of them. The person must be so unaware or care so little that what they write will negatively impact on their chance to every work in Parliamentary Services or for the Party that they stand alone at the top of their own Everest.
And the 2008 winner is
WHALEOIL
In my years of blogging, in fact in all my years being involved in politics I have never met anyone who cares so little about what those on his side or against him thinks of what he writes. A man so passionate that he is right that he will argue an entire day on a blog with every nutcase placed in front of him. A man so loyal that he still to this day will defend Maurice Williamson.
A man who devotes his entire energy into blogging, has his own business cards for his blog and in my entire time knowing him, regardless of where he is going to meet you, will wear only his own merchandise. Whaleoil is a true beast of conflict. Sometimes with the loudest and boorish of potty-mouths yet in a milli-second can say or write something so poetic, meaningful and intelligent that you can only burst out laughing wondering just who the fuck this guy is.
A man who when told to stop by his own people, calmly tells them to combine speed, sex and travel. A lone wolf hellbent on blazing a trail of destruction through those who are bad or dare piss him off.
Whaleoil has tormented the following candidates and causes into submission and irrelevance:
Pearl Going
Brendan Sheehan
Jordan Carter
Kate Sutton
Andrew Williams - The Cock from Campbells Bay
David Benson-Pope
Kees Kaiser and his The Standard links
James Sleep
Steve Chadwick ran away from an interview with Whaleoil
The Electoral Finance Act
The balls to be the first to put up the TVNZ Scampi video
Coined us the terms "Lickspittles", "Broken arses" and "Numptys" into acceptable modern usage
Posted a picture of Winston Peters at the Races when he said he never met Vela
Posted a picture of Winston Peters heading towards a helicopter when he said he's never used a chopper
The Winston Peters "No" Tauranga billboard, and Auckland Labour First hand holding billboards
Spurred Matthew Hooton on to call Winston Peters a f***ing c**t
The Blog Mobile tour including arranging sponsorships and interviews
The utterly fabulous Winston Peters and Judith Tizard Downfall videos
The "Two Helens" video that ended Labour's showing of the John Key equivalent
There's plenty I would have forgotten to mention the list is so prolific.
Whaleoil was indeed National's most potent campaign weapon. Both for morale for the troops and King hits when the Tory's were just too fucking chicken.
The secret to his blogging success is in the following quote: "Cactus I don't know why these people get in a scrap with me, don't they know I have the whole day to fuck them over?".
Whaleoil is the clear winner for 2008 New Zealand blogger of the year.
The secret to his blogging success is in the following quote: "Cactus I don't know why these people get in a scrap with me, don't they know I have the whole day to fuck them over?".
Whaleoil is the clear winner for 2008 New Zealand blogger of the year.
posted by Cactus Kate at 3:18 AM
10 Comments:
yip - you are correct in every way.
but you forgot that deep down he is a good bastard.
[applause]
Thank you, thank you….Thank you Cactus
I’d like to thank…….the Labour Party for giving out free hits willingly, Winston Raymond Peters, 63, unemployed of no fixed abode for being a lying ass, all the lickspittles, lap-bloggers, broken arses and numpties who drew themselves to my attention….you don’t really think I care what you say about me do you?….Andrew Williams, the Cock of Campbells Bay who threatened to sue me……just wait Andrew plenty more vitriol where that came from……Pearl Going the maker of plastic handbags that seemingly are invisible….I haven’t finished with you pearl dear you fake little broken arsed putz….Judith Tizard for being such a terrible MP, hope you enjoyed the video….Helen Clark for staying ugly……Michael Cullen for being a sanctimonious cock…..a special mention to my sponsors of the Blogmobile tour, you know who you are and you should be pleased, quietly with the results, many thanks for your support….
And last of all I’d like to thank me, of course I’m going to thank me, I did all the bloody work, well apart from some helpful contributions from…….yeah right I’m going to tell you who sent me in stuff.
Thank you, and remember this;
If you want to wrestle with pigs know two things are true. You’re going to get dirty and the pig loves it.
Miss Prozac could swear she read somewhere that Cactus Kate thinks that all blogging awards are a load of shit.
But that doesn't stop Miss Prozac being jealous. She wants her own merchandise. Action dolls complete with wine glass, truffles and brie would be a big seller, no?
I have no idea who this person is, yet I worship him also. He does marvelous photo shop things for me, and yet I've never even met him...tho I must say Cactus your words "potty mouth" intrigue me greatly. maybe drinks next time your in Wellington?
The best - hats off! But then there is Not PC...
UnPc- of course but you'd have to stop working first!
A rare honour indeed, and when you consider he looks like Andre the giants sister, a truly remarkable achievement.
Oh, and that Numpty word... Ahem.. Slater, credit where it is due please.
Agree totally, Whales photoshopping abilities came very handy this year!
Jesus Christ on a lollypop stick Kate. You are an adult and as such you have to show some responsibility. Yes everything you say about WOBH is true, but for fuck sake, you have just reduced the viable land mass in NZ by half. The other half will now be occupied by his head.
Well done WO
Bok
Well deserved I say! Haven't met Cam but I am impressed he kept the momentum up when we at Generation XY couldn't.
It will be interesting to see how Whaleoil deals with Labour in Opposition.
Good choice Cactus!
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