Readers Advice Section - Manbags
“ Cactus............I am wrestling with the man bag issue still. I really need something…and am surviving on a bum bag. I don’t want it to be too big but it needs to carry glasses, sunglasses, wallet, phone and not much else but it can’t look gay either. It is a difficult balance. I feel that leather looks too fruity but maybe if I go to the Bally type stuff I might find something appropriate. I am so over going out with my pockets all stuffed full. Maybe you could blog about this very vexed issue and get your readers to offer advice”.
As obliging types of a reasonable cross section of fashionable tastes, I am sure we could start with a few basic rules to expand on to help this poor chap out in his dilemma. I am particularly interested in the gay male and conversely the very straight heterosexual bloke view on the matter. I will kick off the discussion with my points:
1. Male should never carry a bag when female he is with has a bag. Her job is to conceal superfluous items man should not have brought, in her bag.
2. Louis Vuitton male is gay. Fullstop. No more correspondence entered into.
3. No one can pull off the “bum bag” look.
4. Few men can pull off the “computer case”” look without geeking out.
5. Never carry the man bag directly under the arm. Unless you are from France, Italy or Spain, then it is cool.
As obliging types of a reasonable cross section of fashionable tastes, I am sure we could start with a few basic rules to expand on to help this poor chap out in his dilemma. I am particularly interested in the gay male and conversely the very straight heterosexual bloke view on the matter. I will kick off the discussion with my points:
1. Male should never carry a bag when female he is with has a bag. Her job is to conceal superfluous items man should not have brought, in her bag.
2. Louis Vuitton male is gay. Fullstop. No more correspondence entered into.
3. No one can pull off the “bum bag” look.
4. Few men can pull off the “computer case”” look without geeking out.
5. Never carry the man bag directly under the arm. Unless you are from France, Italy or Spain, then it is cool.
posted by Cactus Kate at 12:22 AM
11 Comments:
If you feel you need a man bag that is not needed for the following purposes.
-Transporting a load of live shellfish or crustaceans or dead wetfish;
-Carting your soiled rugby fishing or hunting clobber around to someone else's washing machine;
Then the correct dress protocol is to find a bag big enough and put your metro-sexual boof head into it.
No to the man bags!
1. Get a small phone and case that attaches to the belt. Phone case should match color of the belt.If you are wearing a jacket, phone is concealed.
2. Wallet should fit in a pocket.
3. Start wearing contacts or consider lasix.
4. Sunnies aren't need all the time.
Dear cactus, your man bag mate needs to man up. For a start if you cannot get everything a man needs to carry in your trouser pocket you have one of two problems.
1. You are stuck in kiwi fashion hell (1980'), nobody wears tight jeans anymore.
2. Lose some weight buddy, a wallet should not need a shoehorn.
Shakespeare & Somerset Maughan are my authority - man's central path into a female is talk. Primary female attractor for male is image (visual).
Sympathy for George, but sometimes other things have gotta be carried. If too much equipment to carry in existing pockets, first consider upgrading to bigger pockets. If that's not an option, choose a big enough & well constructed bag. In my experience, a bag with a hands-free option is best.
Bag of hunting female should be small and arm carried. Used for I-Phone, credit cards, essential personal necessities. Small size, quality, design, colour and material are all important parts of this item of the ensemble.
Man bags are GAY....fullstop...end of story.
Anyone who even contemplates a man bag is GAY.
If you must carry around unnecessary items for no earthly purpose other than to carry a bag, you are GAY.
In my world a man-bag is a pack, covered in blood from the beast just slain. It has food for three days in it, a storm shelter, spare ammo and numerous knives that didn't fit on my belt.
My clothes have these wonderfull things called *Pockets*
They handily contain Wallets and keys and pens!
Glasses live on your face. With photo-cromatic lenses you only need one pair.
Phones clip onto belts- or again into *pockets*
Stef - say what??
Phone cases are for posers who think they have a cool phone and want to show it off every time they get an "unexpected" call. What the hell is wrong with pockets??
Poser rule also applies to chumps who wear sunglasses in clubs. Leave them at work/home.
The writer-in is obviously gay to start with, as what straight man in their right mind would take out too much shit for his pockets in the first place? And he wears a bum bag currently - enough said. He needs to extract himself from the closet, NOW!
Wallet, keys, phone. That is all you need. Possibly gum, but that is discreet enough to fit in the back pocket.
You obviously don't care about the quality of woman you end up with when going out, since you have both crap vision and beer goggles on - unless they cancel each other out and you have perfect eyesight when drink?
Stef's right. Wallet and keys fit into the alternate trouser/short pockets. Glasses you are either wearing or you can pop them over your collar if you need to take them off for a bit. Cellphones are small enough nowadays. I don't know what this "and not much else" covers.
Basically for men there is virtually no middle ground between suitcase or other form of professional or working bag for your stuff, and pockets.
Unless it's between the legs a manbag is gender envy and should only be used by a lefty seeking peer approval.
"Louis Vuitton male is gay." Ha! I feel utterly vindicated. I have been saying the same thing myself for years(Although I will add a sub-category that obvious displays of ANY designer's logo is gay*).
*If you are gay, then so be it. But it is something straight men should know.
oo much junk stuffed into pockets looks dorky and ruins clothes. Most trousers and jackets simply aren’t built to carry stuff.
Carrying phone on belt is not acceptable. Ever.
My guy has a small vintage army radio case which fits everything. Army surplus can mean nerdy loser -- but it means you’re definitely manly, and a slightly battered bag which Saw Action has cred. Recommended.
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