Ooh Aggh Larsson
My second non-girlie indulgence after a love of Cricket is of course an almost equal non-girlie love of Manchester United, aka “scum” by some round ball ignorant bloggers such as Clint Heine, who probably only supports The Arse because of some silly chick he is after.
I don’t often get excited about a new signing for United, as unlike Chelski and the Arse, they normally don’t need to import multi-million pound players to sit on their bench….ugh..agh as they have a youth development program.
Last night though I witnessed one of the finest debuts ever for United, from their 35 year old three month loaner, Swedish chap Henrik Larsson. Larsson played all over the park against Premiership “draw” specialists boring, boring Aston Villa. Larsson is exceptionally hot as well, just for the record, in a Swedish male kind of way. He even managed to score the opening goal. The crowd went nuts as did Sir Alex. The look on his face applying knowledge of Sir Alex Expressionalism was one of “can’t believe they f’in loaned him to me” followed by “it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”.
I am starved of Premiership action as I refuse to watch it at the pub full of screaming ignorant local fans (Asians and the screen blocking fat pommy bastards) and cannot get cable in the building I am in and next season Star Sports is likely to win the rights anyway so we have Star Sports on broadband which shows the FA Cup and European Championship. It was a treat then that after being subjected over the weekend of health provoked captivity to such footballing giants as Norwich, Tamworth and Macclesfield, all of whom I reckon the Knights could dismiss in 90 minutes on current form, United v Villa were prime time 10pm Sunday. I even had some popcorn ready.
The game was free flowing United at their best. The greatest moment came in extra time when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer planted a shot through Gabor Kiraly, who up until that split second had single handedly kept Villa in the match. It was humorous and ironic in one hit. Ole Gunnar, so famous for being a super substitute and single handedly rescuing United in the past from competition oblivion.
Of most concern is that fact Wayne Rooney at present could not score in a brothel and every pass to him was an opportunity wasted. He’s such a threat however that two players have to mark the man-child and this creates space for the likes of Larsson who is a solidly built mongrel in the shades of the great one, Eric Cantona. By the 75th minute the neighbours would have heard some nice colourful “just fucking shoot” as Ronaldo once again passed to Rooney and nothing resulted other than another colourful “you dumb arse minger”. Yes, sports watching is a solo activity for myself. Even my close friends can get a little shocked at the language use and there have been times in London where I have been close to having the Burberry’s (Chelski supporters) give me a bit of a smack around until they forgive you for being from the colonies.
Michael Carrick appears to be a waste of cash and should perhaps switch to rugby to replace Johnny Wilkinson in the goal kicking department. His shots on goal are very accurate, if you are looking for 35 metres out, above the bar, between the sticks and 20 rows back. Giggs however just keeps going like the Energiser bunny and Asia’s little shirt seller Park can foot it on the flanks for pace and skill. Wait until a case of the Chinese Dong gets going after work permit problems. Saw him play last year for United on their last trip to Hong Kong and he can fly. Darren Fletcher, once touted as ugh..…David Beckham’s replacement got on the pitch and looked as ineffective as he normally does. One wonders if he can’t be loaned to Tamworth.
More good United family news is that Paul Ince, one mighty and United, now Manager of Macclesfield, believes he didn’t get the Manager's job at West Ham because he is black. Ince should be thankful he didn’t get the Hammers job and therefore consider any racism to be a positive. Perhaps he should look at the Tamworth job next before he goes for Jose Mourinho’s soon to vacant position at Chelski or Arsene Wenger’s job if he keeps pissing off Thierry Henry.
So sorry Clint, United have already won the Premiership and F.A Cup double. As the contenders infrastructure crumbles around us, our geriatric 65 year old Manager is still delivering the goods where and when it matters. And we don’t need a new stadium or a Ruski reject striker Andriy Shevchenko to do it. For we have – the Americans.
I don’t often get excited about a new signing for United, as unlike Chelski and the Arse, they normally don’t need to import multi-million pound players to sit on their bench….ugh..agh as they have a youth development program.
Last night though I witnessed one of the finest debuts ever for United, from their 35 year old three month loaner, Swedish chap Henrik Larsson. Larsson played all over the park against Premiership “draw” specialists boring, boring Aston Villa. Larsson is exceptionally hot as well, just for the record, in a Swedish male kind of way. He even managed to score the opening goal. The crowd went nuts as did Sir Alex. The look on his face applying knowledge of Sir Alex Expressionalism was one of “can’t believe they f’in loaned him to me” followed by “it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”.
I am starved of Premiership action as I refuse to watch it at the pub full of screaming ignorant local fans (Asians and the screen blocking fat pommy bastards) and cannot get cable in the building I am in and next season Star Sports is likely to win the rights anyway so we have Star Sports on broadband which shows the FA Cup and European Championship. It was a treat then that after being subjected over the weekend of health provoked captivity to such footballing giants as Norwich, Tamworth and Macclesfield, all of whom I reckon the Knights could dismiss in 90 minutes on current form, United v Villa were prime time 10pm Sunday. I even had some popcorn ready.
The game was free flowing United at their best. The greatest moment came in extra time when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer planted a shot through Gabor Kiraly, who up until that split second had single handedly kept Villa in the match. It was humorous and ironic in one hit. Ole Gunnar, so famous for being a super substitute and single handedly rescuing United in the past from competition oblivion.
Of most concern is that fact Wayne Rooney at present could not score in a brothel and every pass to him was an opportunity wasted. He’s such a threat however that two players have to mark the man-child and this creates space for the likes of Larsson who is a solidly built mongrel in the shades of the great one, Eric Cantona. By the 75th minute the neighbours would have heard some nice colourful “just fucking shoot” as Ronaldo once again passed to Rooney and nothing resulted other than another colourful “you dumb arse minger”. Yes, sports watching is a solo activity for myself. Even my close friends can get a little shocked at the language use and there have been times in London where I have been close to having the Burberry’s (Chelski supporters) give me a bit of a smack around until they forgive you for being from the colonies.
Michael Carrick appears to be a waste of cash and should perhaps switch to rugby to replace Johnny Wilkinson in the goal kicking department. His shots on goal are very accurate, if you are looking for 35 metres out, above the bar, between the sticks and 20 rows back. Giggs however just keeps going like the Energiser bunny and Asia’s little shirt seller Park can foot it on the flanks for pace and skill. Wait until a case of the Chinese Dong gets going after work permit problems. Saw him play last year for United on their last trip to Hong Kong and he can fly. Darren Fletcher, once touted as ugh..…David Beckham’s replacement got on the pitch and looked as ineffective as he normally does. One wonders if he can’t be loaned to Tamworth.
More good United family news is that Paul Ince, one mighty and United, now Manager of Macclesfield, believes he didn’t get the Manager's job at West Ham because he is black. Ince should be thankful he didn’t get the Hammers job and therefore consider any racism to be a positive. Perhaps he should look at the Tamworth job next before he goes for Jose Mourinho’s soon to vacant position at Chelski or Arsene Wenger’s job if he keeps pissing off Thierry Henry.
So sorry Clint, United have already won the Premiership and F.A Cup double. As the contenders infrastructure crumbles around us, our geriatric 65 year old Manager is still delivering the goods where and when it matters. And we don’t need a new stadium or a Ruski reject striker Andriy Shevchenko to do it. For we have – the Americans.
posted by Cactus Kate at 11:40 PM
9 Comments:
Hardy har har.
Larsson did have a brilliant debut didn't he. He ran rings around his own team as well mind you. The young Scum are not doing too well compared to the older Scum.
I might point out that Man U pay more for international players than Arsenal - and our youth system is very very good.
Although I am happy that our on loan talent are scoring all over England, I am not happy that Wenger will sell them or under-utilise them, ie; Anthony Stokes (16 goals in 18 matches), Lupoli (hatrick in FA Cup for Derby), and of course the Birmingham goal machines Nicklas Bendtner and Sebastian Larsson who have led the Brum to top of the Championship.
Unfortunately my silly chick is a CSKA Chelski sympathiser (not fan as that would mean she watches their games) and no amount of threats will change her.
You got Pompey in the next round of the FA Cup while we have our bogey team Bolton. But don't count your chickens before they hatch Cactus...while you might have one hand on the premiership, the FA Cup is far from yours.
So glad you agree with me Clint.
We will get a red Devils scarf around your head yet.
More likely to have a burkha on my head Cactus :)
I like Larsson a lot, he's a pure predator, and it would have been great to see him in the premiership sooner instead of scoring loads against Partick Thistle etc at Celtic. It's interesting to compare Fergies' signing Larsson (cost fark all, scores heaps of goals) with Mouriho's signing Shevchenko (cost heaps, scores fark all goals) - or it that just a cheap shot? Heh.
If Larsson can inspire Rooney to start scoring goals again, United should be able to keep their noses in front in the league - I don't think you've wrapped it up just yet, eh. Spurs will win the FA Cup, so you're wrong there as well ;)
Oh, and Carrick needs to seriously pull his finger out to be worth 16m pounds. He needs to play in Spain or Italy where his passing (which is pretty shit hot) can be appreciated without a 16 stone defenders kicking shit out of him.
Non-UK Manure, Chelski and Arse supporters - glory hunters, the lot of you!
Not only do they poach geniuses from public schools but certain private schools also poach rugby, tennis and swimming stars in the hope of winning every event possible throughout the year thus the glory doesn't come just once a year when the exam results come in.
I have been to both public and private school, I remember in private school certain people being told that they would not be able to sit the same exams as the rest of us. It's just so pathetic.
Talk about living education via kids. I live my football fantasy by giving mine cheapo import strips. For xmas the looker got Ronaldo's Man U, the stroppy buggar Rooney's England. Without any prompting both are usually worn at the same time. They must wonder why I stand back and smile when they clash in public dressed like this.
Mandy, wrong pipe again - posted to wrong section :)
Halod1 - funniest joke I have heard on kids for a long time. Well done.
I also love it how you have already classed your children as good looking and a minger, and the minger gets to be Rooney.
Richard, wrong about Spurs mate. They will crash and burn and will be lucky to be in the top 8 :)
Man U did the worst thing by buying Carrick for so much. The last thing we need is Spurs with all that money, for any reason. Hleb is a far better passer than him anyway!
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