Child Control
I sympathise with people travelling currently - imagine how horrible it is as a parent having to taste the baby formula to prove it's not explosive. Poor parents (hehe). Imagine the extra work for steward(esses) having to run around dealing with people with special dietary requirements (bloody vegans) and special general requirements.
The only way I would be put out is that it appears that i-pods are now contraband. Every i-pod owner knows how ridiculous this is as you cannot remove the battery or even open the fuckers. We know this as you need a new unit, they will not open it at the service centres.
I am a firm believer in children not travelling on aircraft until the age of 15 (the age I first boarded a plane) in any instance but have helpfully compiled a list of things to do on a plane to control children.
10. Fine parents for badly behaved children.
9. Kid's Club in a separate area away from general passengers.
8. Put movies on the kids channels that involve being in hostage situations or plane crashes. Make them never want to travel again.
7. Get them to go around the plane counting all the people who look like terrorists. Extra points for pulling anyone with a beard.
6. Sit them next to passengers with bad body odour.
5. Sleeping pills wrapped in attractively wrapped junk food served immediately on boarding.
4. Serve them alcohol.
3. Charge children double to fly. That way parents would think twice about taking them and steward(esses) will have more time to serve full fare paying passengers.
2. Cut open the heads of their large stupid soft toys to check for contraband. Blame it on the terrorists.
1. How about the parents actually spent the time talking to them and taking responsibility for not bugging the other passengers?
The only way I would be put out is that it appears that i-pods are now contraband. Every i-pod owner knows how ridiculous this is as you cannot remove the battery or even open the fuckers. We know this as you need a new unit, they will not open it at the service centres.
I am a firm believer in children not travelling on aircraft until the age of 15 (the age I first boarded a plane) in any instance but have helpfully compiled a list of things to do on a plane to control children.
10. Fine parents for badly behaved children.
9. Kid's Club in a separate area away from general passengers.
8. Put movies on the kids channels that involve being in hostage situations or plane crashes. Make them never want to travel again.
7. Get them to go around the plane counting all the people who look like terrorists. Extra points for pulling anyone with a beard.
6. Sit them next to passengers with bad body odour.
5. Sleeping pills wrapped in attractively wrapped junk food served immediately on boarding.
4. Serve them alcohol.
3. Charge children double to fly. That way parents would think twice about taking them and steward(esses) will have more time to serve full fare paying passengers.
2. Cut open the heads of their large stupid soft toys to check for contraband. Blame it on the terrorists.
1. How about the parents actually spent the time talking to them and taking responsibility for not bugging the other passengers?
posted by Cactus Kate at 12:33 AM
5 Comments:
Do you really know how hard it is to control children on a long haul flight.
You obviously do not have children of your own.
Thanks for your defeatist attitude Wendy
You obviously are hard of reading. No I don't have children of my own, I hate other people's children in general and do not see why I have to pay a larger fare on an airline when I am less likely to take up more resources on the plane and annoy the waiters and waitresses on the plane.
Yes children are difficult to control but they are not MY children and therefore not MY problem. If I disciplined your children on a flight, two things would result: a) your children would never interrupt anyone for the duration, but b) you would have me arrested.
In other words take responsibility for your own children and respect the fact that my airfare, and possibly taxation and "slice of the pie" is distorted by breeders such as yourself.
As a single person if I lived in NZ presently I would demand that the neighbours children all sucking off Working For Families, come over at the weekend and do my household chores. Least they could do.
I was one of those screaming brats when my parents moved back from Canada. It is now karma that I am placed close to the infant on all future plane rides.
Wendy. Cactus does not like children. She is the only female blogger 30+ that has absolutely zero paternal instinct. This is why we like her. It is like reading Larry David Curb Your Enthusiasm scripts only on a daily basis.
Agree But what we really need is kids only flights. We also need Muzzie only flights including the crew.
gd
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